Alone

26 years ago I was born and loved conditionally.

21 years ago I called the police to stop my parents from beating each other. Again.

All this time I am being beaten myself. Inside and out.

10 years ago I got pregnant my first time having sex and had an abortion. I will never forgive myself. 

3 years ago I cheated on my fiancee. The only one close to loving me unconditionally. 

I have been an alcoholic for 10 years.

The guy I cheated on my fiancee with recently told me he "met someone".

That night I relapsed after over 100 days of being sober.

That night I fell and broke my ankle in 2 spots.

That night I lay screaming on the street because I could not walk. No one stopped to help me. 

I thought I was going to die and screamed until a policeman showed up and took me home. 

Last week I had surgery on my ankle and when I woke up from recovery, no one was there. No friends. No family. 

Tonight I sit unable to walk for at least another 7 weeks.

Tonight I feel so unbelievably alone and sad that it may just kill me. 

Tonight I will continue to wonder why no one really loves me. 

Tonight I will sit here and think about why I deserve this pain.

Tonight I will still be alone. 

KathyK26 KathyK26
26-30, F
Mar 2, 2010