High School Crush

So there was this guy in my high school chemistry class. He was popular, charismatic, a total ******* - yet I've been completely infatuated with him since the day we first spoke. He's deep, and I've caught glimpses of it over the years we've known each other. We hooked up once, and have shared intimate moments multiple times, only for him to utterly **** it up.
So... fast forward to five years later. We're both college students in the same city, and I run into him around town as well as at parties when we're both home from school. There is just something about his presence. I search for him at places where he might be, and if we do have a conversation, I'm thinking about it for days afterwards. But our relationship has always been games: a flirtation there, a deep conversation here, a blow-off or jealousy-inducing action there. Oh, and he's recently been diagnosed as a sex addict. We share a lot of the same issues, but he can't seem to show his genuine feelings.
I'm pretty sure I'm just infatuated by the idea of what I think he could be. But it's been five years and I can't seem to let it go. I've also just broken up with my boyfriend of a year and a half, so if there's any time to find out if there's substance to this infatuation, I guess it would be now.
Is this an awful idea?
Orengezombie Orengezombie
18-21, F
Jan 20, 2013