Have I Lost Something That I Never Had?

I have a sister who is younger than me like 24 years old and she has a friend that she has known since elementary school. My sister lived with me for a while due to a domestic violence incident with her boyfriend she is now back with and during that time living with me she would bring her friend over to come hang out with her and i was fine with that. Her girlfriend (as in only friends) was nice and i thought she was alright. One day her friend mentions that she's going to be going to enroll into college for clasees becuase she wanted to be productive and i, being unemployed and having no car told her that was my interest too and i had planned on taking the bus. Her friend offered to pick me up since she lives near by and my house is on the way and we began talking about having same schedules and such. My sister was there the whole time when we began to talk about it and it seemed fine. Eventually, her friend and i began going to school together and since i dont work anymore and my sister does and her friend also doesnt work, her friend began to come see me more at my house just to come keep me company and herself as well. One morning when my sisters friend came over she gets a phone call and i hear her tell my sister" you know what i dont know what the problem is i have room in my heart for many friends and i dont just go running around sharing my friends business" then my sisters friend tells her she would call my sister back later because she was there at my house, when my sister had already knew that. After over hearing i had felt that it was bothering my sister that her friend and i had became friends...in time, my sister stopped answering my calls and replying back to my text messages and i knew that i had done nothing wrong to upset her for her to be treating me this way- i began to feel like the whole situation was childish and maybe i should stop being friends with her friend because maybe she was mad or concerned that i was going to find things out from her friend-which was not anything i was trying to do- i just enjoyed her friends company,the laughs and was happy that someone made me feel important and cared to see how i was doing throughout the day and enjoyed hanging out with me as much as her friend did- My sister has now stopped talking to the both of us and since i have not been able to see my 2 year old nephew i called her and told her we needed to talk because i cared about her and cared about making things right between us and felt that i was losing out on seeing my nephew because of all of this- i had sent her an email inviting her to my daughters tenth birhthday and when she never replied i had felt that it had gone too far! the kids have nothing to do with it. She mentioned she was "cool off me and her ex-friend because i had shared an old argument with her friend and had told her friend that i was closer to my sister on my mothers side and she was closer to her sister on her mothers side and that was why she was cool off us both- then she said not to say nothing to her friend and also had mentioned that i had been jealous of her relationship with her friend- I was trully hurt and shocked that she thought of me this way_ I had shared the conversation with my with my new friend anyway because i trusted hermore than my sister right about this time and trully felt she was using that as an excuse than to say the truth that it really had just bothered her that i was friends with her friend period- I had told her so why didnt you ever just call me and confront me on it and i would have corrected your misinterpretation of my feelings i had shared with our friend since you have been ignoring me since we began going to school- I know my friends intentions were not bad because there is more to this all...but my friend was upset that my sister was using her as an excuse of her ignoring me-my friend then shares with me that my sister had told her dont be telling her my business and all my older sister is trying to do is(now this really hurt)be your friend so she can find out stuff and then come back and tell me see i told you she wasnt a good friend and once we break up shes going tobreak up with you- i was more hurt then upset and didnt take it as my friend was gossipping but just defending her self and let me know that she would tell my sister "lets go to your sisters house and my sister was just stubborn and didnt want to...when i had a conversation with my sister i never mentioned anything that her our friend had let me know and i saw her in a whole different way...i basically felt that no matter what i said about my feelings wouldnt matter anyway because it was all about her- this relationship with her has been a working progress since i was the daughter that was taken away from the family and when i came into her life i was a teenager and she was younger and establishing a relationship was pretty hard- i no longer want to try to get a hold of her - and feel if i see her i see her if not then not but im losing out on seeing my nephew that i grew close too. Im hurt becuase she doesnt call to see how her nephew and niece are doing because i feel she is too pride ful- i have decided to not lose a good friend becuase of all of this and feel that my sister has made the choice to lose a really good sister and friend because she just didnt want us to be friends- i wish things couldve been different and we all could have hung out the way we did in the beginning- her friend is wonderful and very spiritual too and i feel that my sister was just trying to make me upset with her so that i wouldnt be her friend anymore- but the things i shared with my/our friend were feelings of her ignoring me and how much it saddened me but never talked down on my sister- Anyway I would like to know if anyone has any comments or suggestions about this whole situation and what you think i should do about this all or if i should do nothing...at least i can say now...that i can finally sleep

alwysmsundrstood alwysmsundrstood
1 Response Mar 26, 2009

Sounds like you've done all you can and the ball is in your sister's court. Not much you can do but keep that olive branch extendeded. <br />
<br />
Good luck.