Feels Like A Million And One Things......

I don't get my mood swings.
My feelings for people.
My feelings for women in general.
My feelings for men in general.
My feelings for friends.
Whether or not I want to contact my father just to tell him to **** off and to stay the hell out my life for freaking ever. I don't want him seeing me succeed. I don't want him being a part of my child's life assuming I have kids. I'm just sick of his fake ***, only showing up in my life for appearances, but the one year I need him he can't bother even doing that? **** HIM. I almost want him to know how I feel, i want him to ******* cry. But at the same time one I"m not sure I'm capable of making anyone cry and two I don't know if I even care enough to tell him to **** off.

Something stupid to be confused on...sex. There are days I want it so desperately, but here lately I'm not even sure I care about it. I want sex eventually. But not sure how much I care about it right this very second.
Not really confused but annoyed to why I can't let go of a crush, who i don't know lol I haven't seen him in months, and I know nothing will ever happen, and I've accepted that, but the attraction is there and I still think about him and dream about him. I hate it. But luckily it's not everyday all day like it used to be :P
Hmmm i think I'm done for now.
Greeneyedandcurious Greeneyedandcurious
26-30, F
1 Response May 19, 2012

i am suspicious of anyone that wants to be my friend. i keep them at least an arms length. don't tell me your feelings, your troubles or in any way vent. been burnt too many times to even try at friendship. i keep conversations very cereberal never from the heart. why am i this way? i've tried to understand. the craziness is i love the animal kingdom and feel deeply for the homeless and starving, they aren't looking for friendship they seek shelter and food.