Learning To Be A Loner....

In the last 2 weeks, I've lost my boyfriend of 5 yrs, our business, and trying not to lose me. I loved him but I will not stand for any type of domestic abuse. So I had him locked up after a very heated argument between the two of us which led him to trash my home (where me & my children live), grab me by the neck and slam me into the bedroom wall (which left a 4' x 2' hole), chase me into the bathroom with a butcher knife (in the presence of my 16yr old son), and finally, take all of our monies out of our biz account. I was able to recover everything but the horrific memories and emotional/mental scars. He was my best friend...had never gone that crazy before and most of all, I love him. However, I know that the relationship is over and I cannot live in a cycle of violence, but I still love him. Found myself crying about it just a bit ago....and no one else in my corner can possibly understand this. I'm pissed! Pissed at him, pissed at me---I'm no angel. I sure could have handled the situation better, but I didn't. I fought him too--pulled hair, bit, hit, scratched. I could be in jail too : ( The list goes on....mostly venting, but very confused about pressing charges and all. Can anyone hear me?
Free79 Free79
31-35, F
1 Response May 22, 2012

i did a stint in jail pretrial. lots of men came in that had beat their wives never seen a hint of remorse from any. they felt sorry for not having a home, of being locked up. or paying child support or fines. judges give anger management as part of a sentence which has the possibility of helping. i wish all women see your story here and think before they jump. thank you

Funny thing...he was already enrolled in and taking anger management on his own. And I just talked to him for the first time in more than 2 weeks just a couple of hours ago and he had the nerve to ask me why he was in jail?? I'm like, ???? really? Ok, you really have REAL problems. He's never "beaten" me or anything like that but pulling a knife and throwing me into a wall is not acceptable behavior. He's incredibly strong and also a martial artist....with a very bad temper (not a good combo). I know that I'm not a saint but I'm still a woman and I'm no match when it comes to any man. I really think that he's shocked that I went as far as having him arrested. Some people are truly amazing human beings....just goes to show that you never really know how much you "really" know someone.. Thanks for your reply Lawena