???

Why are guys so confusing sometimes? Ok, before I get into this, just know that I absolutely love the guy that I'm with right now. I'm in a happy relationship and he is all I could ever want. I wouldn't have said yes when he proposed if I didn't. And the last thing I would ever want to do is hurt him. I've seen him at his lowest point and I know some of his darkest secrets, and he knows mine. I don't want to put him in any kind of pain.

Lately, I've been talking with my other friend a lot though. Now, for the most part, I've gotten the whole "dating just for fun and not feelings" thing out of my system. But he's different for some reason. Just yesterday was the closing night for the school play I was in (it was called Welcome to Hell, though it wasn't anything bad). My friend is in it too, playing the role of Judas in the 2nd scene. There's another guy in the play too that I find highly attractive. He played Garcin in scene 4. With Garcin, I told him he was the hottest guy on the cast. I never had any type of real feelings for him. I just found him cute (and found that seeing him change was a huge bonus to the show). However with Judas, it was different. I still don't have any real feelings for him. He's a nice guy who I really find attractive as well. But whenever we're hanging out, whether it was during school or backstage, I want to kiss him Just for fun. Again, I have no feelings for him what so ever. But I can't help this feeling. The play is over but we still have the cast party week. Most likely, I'll end up sitting next to him, which probably won't be the best idea. I think it's the way he flirts. When Garcin flirts, everyone knows he's just messing around. But with Judas, it's harder to tell. Naturally, if some flirts with me, I flirt back. Not necessarily as much as I use to, and I never mean it. But now Judas just has to mess with my head. Help! I don't know what I'm feeling. What should I do?
Riomi Riomi
18-21, F
Dec 16, 2012