Don't Know How To Feel Or What To Think!

Let me start off by telling you I’m about to be 30 & married for 10yrs this month! We don’t have any kids yet but have been trying for a few yrs now with no luck. I love my husband with all my heart & I know he loves me. He has to travel a lot for work so I get left alone for 4-8 weeks at a time (he will be missing my 30thB-day) we also have no family where we live so I just have my friends! I love them they are great people..  My problem is that one of them is a guy; he is a great guy the kind of guy I would date if I was not married. Well the past few weeks we have been spending a lot of time together.  Well things got a little out of hand & we kissed and well let’s just say it went too far without going all the way… I know it was wrong I hate myself for it!!!! But at the same time I have so many feelings for this guy & to make it even harder he feels the same way about me. Let me make it even a little bit more complete one of my friends wanted to be with him at one point. She has a boyfriend now & keeps saying she just wants to be friends with him, but I am not sure she’s being 100% truthful. Me & this guy have talked & we know how we feel about each other & that it really can’t go anywhere but I still have all the feelings that I don’t know what to do with… I really want him to be part of my life but I think he is trying to stay away from me… He told me he was not sure he could trust himself around me… It hurts that he keeps away from me… I don’t even know if I am explaining this right it’s all so complex & don’t even want to be in my own heard right now.  Sorry you must think I am 100% crazy… maybe I am!

lostinconfusion lostinconfusion
26-30, F
1 Response Mar 8, 2010

U not crazy.... Sumtyms we feed lonely then u end up falling 4sum1 else...