Mind Over Body
Physically I'm a woman, but I've never wanted to be. I hated at the inception of puberty the appearance of the first inconvenient badges of womanhood, and I felt a little punch in my stomach every time I went up a bra size. I didn't want breasts, and still don't. I don't feel like I belong in the female gender, unable to understand my sister's overemotional crushes and my mother's primping in front of the mirror before she goes out, even if it's just to shop. I don't wear make-up or girly colours or dresses or skirts as they make me feel foolish and awkward. I spent my school years bored with the inanity of the gossip of other girls.
On the other hand, I wasn't sure that entirely my "inner sex" was male either. I'm not interested in sports (did a stint of martial arts though), I'm asexual so the grubby male culture of boasting about sexual exploits is alien, and there are other things too. I feel like I'm a weird third gender between male and female, and I can't slot into any role.
There's a character in Haruki Murakami's "Kafka on the Shore" who is biologically female, yet firmly states that he is a gay man because he is attracted to men but male on the inside, so his gender is more important than what nature decided to squash him into. I think that could be a tag I can co-opt for myself, for lack of better description. But it can be quite alienating not to be like everyone else. I don't really know where I belong.