So Confused...I have thought many times that I would make SUCH a better guy, alot of it is because I'm not built like a girl, I have big broad shoulders and am taller than alot of the guys I know. As well as the fact that I think like a guy, talk like one, act like one and most of the time dress like one. Sure I like certain things I'm "Supposed" to, like shiny things and clothing. But the fact that all women's clothing is so small I feel very self conscious because I can't wear cute little outfits. Not that I have a burning desire to do so, as I said I dress more like a guy as well, but that is probably a contributing factor.
It also doesn't help the fact that I am back and fourth between if I'm lesbian or BI and that I've NEVER been with a man. In fact, when I was younger (Like 12 or 13, you know that age where you discover ****?) I HATED looking at ****! It was just DISGUSTING to me, I was all about the girls though. Everything about them is delicate, like a flower petal and they always smell wonderful. Girls are amazing creatures, but I'm just not cut out to be a "Normal" girl. I don't CARE what I look like in the morning, my outfit is jeans and a T-shirt most days. And my hair ALWAYS looks like **** and I don't CARE. That's what makes it so horrible for me because everyone looks at you and thinks "Wow. She is NOT a real girl." And it hurts.
I'm confused about my gender because I'm closer to being a man, it would involve WAY less changes to me if I was just going to be one. I am THAT far from being a girl in my mind. It's just so confusing.
NeenaFlame 18-21, F 2 Responses 1 Sep 25, 2012