So Confused...

I have thought many times that I would make SUCH a better guy, alot of it is because I'm not built like a girl, I have big broad shoulders and am taller than alot of the guys I know. As well as the fact that I think like a guy, talk like one, act like one and most of the time dress like one. Sure I like certain things I'm "Supposed" to, like shiny things and clothing. But the fact that all women's clothing is so small I feel very self conscious because I can't wear cute little outfits. Not that I have a burning desire to do so, as I said I dress more like a guy as well, but that is probably a contributing factor.
It also doesn't help the fact that I am back and fourth between if I'm lesbian or BI and that I've NEVER been with a man. In fact, when I was younger (Like 12 or 13, you know that age where you discover ****?) I HATED looking at ****! It was just DISGUSTING to me, I was all about the girls though. Everything about them is delicate, like a flower petal and they always smell wonderful. Girls are amazing creatures, but I'm just not cut out to be a "Normal" girl. I don't CARE what I look like in the morning, my outfit is jeans and a T-shirt most days. And my hair ALWAYS looks like **** and I don't CARE. That's what makes it so horrible for me because everyone looks at you and thinks "Wow. She is NOT a real girl." And it hurts.

I'm confused about my gender because I'm closer to being a man, it would involve WAY less changes to me if I was just going to be one. I am THAT far from being a girl in my mind. It's just so confusing.
PotPrincess PotPrincess
22-25, F
2 Responses Sep 25, 2012

i feel the same but ur old enough to get hormone blockers, get a binder, change ur name to a guys one and try it out, ud only have to do it for a month or two if it works out then great u deffo know u identify as male but if it doesnt then just go back to being u, a tomboy lesbo or wateva u are. Id advise tryin it out elsewhere than ur hometown area jus in case u get it all wrong, coz u can lose friends n family this way, perhaps even ur job, so id just go on holiday an pretend to be a guy, use guy loos and hang out with guys-dont tell em wat ur doin or wat u rely r
eitha way it shud b loadsa fun and ull discover more bout urself u may even meet a guy....:D

I know how you feel, join the club you are not alone and not the first one with these feelings. One day, soon I hope, society will accept people for who they are and not what they think they should be. My opinion and everyone has one. Do what feels right for you, do what makes you happy, set your spirit free and enjoy your life. Don't worry about what others think, they do not worry about what you think or how you feel. They say mean things because they have emotional issues there self and they do not know how to deal with them. You have the courage to be different and not one of the crowd. Maybe they might be a little envious, that you are such a strong person that they wish they could be.