Confuzzled :(

Last night, I had the strangest dream. I'm confused on my sexuality, what I want right now, and what type of artist I'm going to be.

I'm asexual, just so that's clear, and I'm staying that way because I don't plan on marriage(religious Christian thing), and I want to stay pure.

I dreamt I was dating my friend, a girl, and I dreamt we made-out on a bed. In the dream, we were "seperated" by a desert-apocolapse. We were reunited in a school. When I placed my hand on her back as we walked, she said she had a boyfriend.

I have NO feelings for her- even if I'm asexual I'm not attracted to her facial features, which is the only real thing I look for when I have a crush on guys. This is so strange, it's causing to question my sexuality. Am I biromantic? Or just hetroromantic? I don't know- I prefer to just be a furry/human and androynous. Mentally, I'm androynous and I switch to girl sometimes. But would I actually date a girl?

I have social-anxiety, too. I don't know if I should stay strong in school- to "hold on" and try making friends- or whether to just quit it. Sometimes I don't even want to wake up in the morning. I'm awful at remembering to take my medication, but even then I don't think it's working fast enough or it's even right for me. My friend is in another school and we email eachother; oddly enough she seems to be the only friend I can keep and the only one I have

My creativity seems to be lacking badly- I'm not drawing as much as I should to learn. I don't have any friends and none of my family share my interests- of being a furry, of loving cartoons/anime, of animals, etc I know it's not a bad thing, but they seem to be in a different world than I am sometimes. It's like I'm not motivated to draw/write.

Iam frustrated with my insecurities and confused
Mochakat Mochakat
13-15, F
1 Response Oct 20, 2012

You sound to me Like you are Bi-gender, or Third Gender. It's a strange way to think of it but you have, 2 separate unique personalities, one is dominate YOU, the other submissive. Both can have their own unique view on something, but you share most in common. Let me know if you need anymore help.