I Don't Know How to Sort These Feelings Out

It's a scary notion to think. To think that maybe I am wrong. That everyday I am wrong. Everyday I wake up and I am not who I should be. I identify with a few parts of myself, but a lot of myself I don't believe is me. Sometimes I think I would have made a better boy. I am so unsure though. I am such a mix of the two specific genders that I wish there was a middle, I don't feel like a girl, and I don't feel like a boy. It's hard. Life is hard.
hehothehobo hehothehobo
18-21, F
7 Responses Nov 27, 2007

Love and respect. Iam 35 going thu the same issues. Hang on. :) LOVE

we all have a little bit of both sexes in us mentally, some of us are very aware of both sides. there is nothing "wrong" about this. The main thing is to accept yourself, and that may mean accepting both sides of you and all the feelings that comes with each. It is not easy, but it sure beats repressing half of your self. Good luck, and keep the chin up. It gets easier as you get older.

there is middle gender - androgyne<br />
Ive felt stuck between the 2 for long time

You truely are honest to your self and that counts for more than anything.

I can somewhat relate to this. Though I'm female and I'm fine with that, mentally I feel androgynous (sometimes neither, sometimes both, sometimes it switches off). I don't like to have to conform to either of the gender roles/expectations, and I don't think that I have to or should. I like the way I am, though it can be hard to relate to people/society at times. Even if I did match one mental gender more than the other, I wouldn't feel the need to label myself with it. I'm just me, and that's fine.<br />
<br />
To be completely honest though, I have at times wondered if I would be better off male. I've imagined what it would be like in some detal, and some day I will pass as male to see what it's like to be treated as a man in society (that's sort of a goal of mine, something I want to experience..but I'll only do it if I *really* know I can pass!) ..but then, if I were male, I'd be saying the same thing about being female. <br />
<br />
you don't have to choose to be either a girl or a boy. You can be in the middle if you want to be. I know of people out there who are androgynous, both mentally and with their physical appearances.

I feel you homie.

yeah it is hard. and confusing. especially if you happen to be someone that really is somwhere inbetween but you don't know it yet.