I am feeling confused with my emotions towards my boyfriend. I'm very tired, and don't feel like typing a ton tonight, so long story short- I don't trust him. We haven't been dating very long. We have a rough past, he hurt me, I thought I was over it because it was 5 years ago, but those feelings never go away in your memory when they are brought up again in current situations. He has a lot of friends who are girls. Now my bf is a very good looking guy, and I think my insecurities get the best of me with that. I know I can't tell him who to be friends with- that's not fair at all, I'll just have to get used to it. However, I'm so scared he's going to cheat on me with a girl who's better looking. I don't have huge boobs, so I can't satisfy him there visually. It makes me really upset though, because he's never said they were fine the way they were. He makes it seem like he wishes they were bigger. Actions speak louder than words. Either way, because of two situations boiling down to my very low self esteem, my trust is minimal and I wish I could make it come back. I also do not love him. He was the first to tell me and says he does everyday, and I believe him, I just feel so bad because I can conjure up those feelings until I can trust him- and that's going to take a lot of time.
KrisMiss KrisMiss
26-30, F
2 Responses Aug 20, 2014

Some guys, it won't matter if u look like jenna jameson, and cook like Rachael Ray, they are gonna give in to temptation everytime. Don't ignore a woman's intuition. Don't be insecure either. Many guys don't get hung up on a female's body and it's looks like us girls do concerning out own. It's that confidence (or lack of) that makes more of a difference than the actual body part. Start saving up for a breast augmentation, if it truly is that important.

Gee that sounds so tough, trust issues are pretty much the worst thing, everything else- financials etc can be sorted out but if there's no trust then I don't know. My bf lied to me so much, he lie about his exes and I found a sex tape of him and an ex in recently viewed files on his comp we shared. Then I found out he was working with one of his exes in a small office. I am still hurt and I still don't trust him completely. I am always doubtful but I try not to let those thoughts invade me. I am trying to rebuild trust and he has promised to tell me when he talks to other women but he still isn't totally honest. I know he's not cheating and these things are little so I don't mind.
As for you thinking you can't satisfy him physically just because of your boobs, that's so untrue!! There is more beauty in a person than boobs. I have large breasts and although I love them I'm dreading the days they start to sag unlike yours!! Small and perky is so attractive!! Really.
I know what it feels like to question your love for someone, to wonder. But I had some moments where I knew and really it hit me, he's not perfect not at all but I love him.
Dm me if you like, I love chatting. Hope you're okay x

Thank you for your response! I'm sorry that bf lies to you about those things. I wish everyone could be honest, but when it comes down to it we all keep secrets away from each other. I am trying as well to regain my trust because I do want to be with him and he does mean a lot to me. It will just take time, as it will for you. Thinking doesn't get you anywhere, as you've said, I agree with that. I wish I wasn't so hateful towards my body /: I've never felt attractive to guys because of having a flat chest, and when I mentioned to him tonight that I got natural augmentation pills, his eyes lit up. He eventually said that I am great the way I am but I knew he would like them to be bigger and I am a giant people pleaser. I put others desires before my own, besides my schooling and personal dreams of course. I have been in love before and I miss it. I think I just need to spend more time with him, I can feel it growing every time I'm with him, so that's a good thing :) thank you again! I hope things are working out for you too! :)