I'm Not Sure Where It's Going
Really confused, two nights ago I went to my wife's house to bring over our son. I went in and let him get settled up stairs and tucked him into bed, I went to say good bye and tried to give her a hug (I'm going to give you a hug goodbye) swiftly followed by her reply of, ahhh no I'm sweaty and stuff.
I said ok, but did offer to bring her Shoe cabinet and some of the stuff she asked for to be brought over. She agreed and told me to call first because they may be in there pjs (her and the husband and wife she has befriended and now living with, long story).
Anyway I went back and grabbed some of her stuff and brought it over. Afterward we spoke for a little bit and when she went to say bye, this time she grabbed my hand (I swear time stopped for a while). She let go as she passed and I left for the night so they could eat dinner.
Confused, I went home.
Last night I walked in on her speaking to a friend, she said "ohhh he just walked in, hold on". Expecting the phone from her she then however continued, well thats why I need to talk to you.......we have been married (turns to me) how long ? I reply 9 years, no 8 , she continues "8 years in October" we have known each other for 10. (the words I wanted her to say so bad never seemed to bother me more), I suddenly remember all the hell we have gone through in the last years. To hear her say it makes me feel so good that there is hope renewed, but then the back of my mind I'm thinking some thing is bothering me about how she said it.
I say good night to my son and go to leave, she makes a comment about us and how relationships, you never know. No one ever knew what was going on with us. (well everyone knew, even the neighbors across the street knew).
She shrugs the hug off again and this time says just "no", I leave for the night.
Tonight again over this time to pick up my son to bring him to the doctors tomorrow and school. I talk to her for some time, she has a headache and seems in some emotional distress now. I try to talk to her and allow her to get it out of her whats bugging her.
She says to give Kenny extra hugs tonight and scoots me out the door. She called me later that night wanting to talk about some thing but I could tell she could not, instead she asks me to take care of Kenny and tell him that she loves him.
I made sure that Kenny got extra hugs and tell him what she said, I text her back that Kenny loves her.
I'm so confused, does she want to try, is there still hope, I guess I will have to hold on, she's worth it, it just hurts so bad.