What Do I Like? I Have No Idea.

I am so busy with life. With school, work, responsibilities. I am so busy with so much that everything I do is half way. Instead of doing a few things spectacular, I am doing many things mediocre.

When I do have a spare moment, and they are few and far between, I am lost. I have no idea what I want to do. I have no hobbies. Nothing I enjoy. One sign of depression is not enjoying things you once did, but the problem is I don't remember ever enjoying anything. When I do have a spare hour, instead of relaxing with something I like to do, something that defines me, I instead start working on my next school assignment or whatever I want to 'get out of the way.' But as soon I get that out of the way, there is something else there waiting for me. 

I don't know what to do. I feel very lost and like nothing is worth learning. I could paint, play piano, read, or practice a sport, but that all takes time. I feel like I am wasting time because I am not good at any of those things. I could learn to draw, but right now I am still drawing like a 5 year old, so that doesn't work, because I can't define myself by my drawings because I would be embarassed to admit to it. Does this make sense? I don't know who I am. What defines me. How can I have already gone through 18 years, every day, waking up, breathing, but still know nothing about myself?

elizabeth1618 elizabeth1618
18-21, F
1 Response Mar 2, 2009

wowow! at 18!...you kidding me...I went to college got a degree in finances , moved to different country, had a child, then got married ...twice...got divorced...twice...and i still have no idea what I want to do with my life...i have the same questions today you have...i can draw, i can paint, i can cook...<br />
dude, relax...you have time to make up your mind.