I Need Help! They Hate Me But Pretend To Love Me!

Okay.. this is my first story, and I'm not a writer so i don't know how to start.. But I'm lost and i need help
I don't know how to deal with those people....
I got my aunt who hates me.. hates me so much and every time she sees me she have to say something that makes me really upset
she always find a way to make me sad.. I'm a polite person who have to sallow the pain and just close my mouth..
 and the problem is that she pretend to love me and to care for me..
but i know very well as she do, that she hates me.. i can't react badly because she shows everyone how caring she is, and i just
cant be good no more.. this woman is looking at me with hate in her eyes.. even though i never did anything wrong to her..
i don't really know how to deal with her.. thought maybe i should share this and sorry for my bad English..
JustJennah JustJennah
22-25, F
8 Responses Mar 22, 2012

Maybe it´s just a impression you have about her. Maybe is her way to care of you. Maybe she doesn´t hate but she can be nice because have emotional issues. So best thing to do: talk openily about it. Ask her why you are getting this vibe and how you feel unconfortuble.

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"i believe i wont shed any tear as well... the problem she's our neighbor :( she can step by any time just to bother me... some times i wish i could be bad enough to hurt her feelings the same way... & thanks for the comment :)"<br />
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Yeah I don't think you should go and deliberately hurt her; you'll only make yourself more miserable... All you can do is tell her the TRUTH about how f+cK..ed up she's been acting, and give her a reality check... Telling the Truth to someone in a nice and stern way isn't hurting them but helping them... She can't see how ugly she's been acting; and you have to ACT LIKE A MIRROR showing or reflecting back to her what she is; so that she can stop hurting herself by hurting you.

I thought of doing this.. But i couldn't, i changed my mind at the last moment because i didn't wanna hurt dad... And if i said one word for her.. She was gonna say I said 100 cursing words.. She's a damn lair.

I don't think she means it...she is just using you as a scapegoat seeking someone to blame because of your mother... She is mad at your mother; not at you... If she wants to make your mother feel bad by harassing you... Pity her and you'll see clearly; people do stupid things when mad at other people taking it out on OTHER people besides the people they are really mad at... And other times they are just mad at themselves; using you as a punch bag to deal with their issues... But they are just hitting themselves swinging at you!!! So her anger is futile she just punishes herself... If she takes it out on other people and not "go to the source that is herself; the problem laying with her" then she only aggravates the whole situation by keeping to avoid it...the longer you avoid poison the more time it has time to spread corrupting your system... I'll laugh at her with "compassion" take it light heartedly; knowing she is her own worst enemy...and when she is ready to say sorry I'll welcome her with open arms!!! But some people have too much pride to say sorry - keep that in mind.

I swear i did everything.. if she hates me she should just avoid me... I'm tired of being used all my life..

I guess you heard it all, But if you know that she hates you, her comments should be the least of your concern. <br />
I had an uncle that was the same, i learned the hard way to filter his comments and take only what i feel is genuine. maybe you need to put this filter in your ears :)

Thanks.. But sometimes it's so hard when someone wanna drag you down no matter what.. and you know you have done nothing wrong to them.

it will only affect u, if u let it.
some people are like that in family and work you need to learn to avoid or to ignore. and it comes with LOTS of training.

yeah i guess thanks for your comment :)

There are just some people who are so unhappy they have to take it out on others. I don't know why, but I guess it makes them feel good to make someone else miserable. Sometimes they take it out on everyone but other times they just pick out one person. Unfortunately - sounds like you're the one. But I'll give you a little advice my mother gave me and it really does help. My mom always told me that the key in a situation like that is to 'consider the source' - the source of the insult, the snide remark, or whatever it is. Realize that's just the way they are, that it is probably done out of jealousy or bitterness and then move on. Replace the hurt with thankfulness that you don't harbor the bitterness or unhappiness in your heart that she does. That you can still be kind to others.

You're right.. i guess it's help to think this way.. I'm really glad i'm not like her...
Thanks for your comment :)

@LadyB...that's excellent advise. Just because someone says something doesn't make it true, or important.....

Jennah, is there any way to remove yourself from her....I mean, can you go live elsewhere so she wouldn't be nearby and couldn't just drop in to spread her poison?

I think that is something we all need to be reminded of sometimes! :)

She's our neighbor lucky me! i can go nowhere :(

2 More Responses

I have an aunt who isn't that bad, an is much better than she uses to be, but she always used to show such disdain for me. It seemed like she felt her own son was so much better, and she also has a bit of a strained relationship with my mom, so possibly some of that was transferred to me. What I normally did was just consider her to be an idiot who has no idea what she is talking about, and whose actions are due to some personal issues that had nothing to do with me. It didn't matter if that was true or not, it still worked for me :)

Yeah.. the same problem with me.. she hates my mom and i'm the one who's paying for it..
I consider it mentally ill so dealing with her is ignoring what she say.. and trying to be as nice as i can be not for her sake but for the sake of God and my dad.

Thanks for the comment :)

"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." <br />
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"Vengeance is mine, I will repay; says the Lord."

"Vengeance is mine, I will repay; says the Lord." I follow this.. I know God will hurt who harmed me... I'll always be good for His sake..

Thanks for the comment :)

Bravo! Nicely penned ...Keep writing my friend....:)

thanks.. that's encouraging :)