There's Something Lurking Underneath My Skin

... but I don't know what it is. I am really confused right now. I walk in a haze and just retreat from this world, but I don't know the reason. I have been battling my demons for quite a while now and I thought I was on the way to recovery. Still, as much as I try to let go of the past, it doesn't seem to want to let go of me...

How do I do that?
Mapping Mapping
26-30, F
2 Responses Sep 19, 2012

The past no longer exists. We have our memories and it helps to use those to learn from as we move forward in life. But just remember, you will only be rid of any haunting memories of the past if you CHOOSE to be rid of them. Good luck!

Heard that before. Choose to... Sometimes I just can't seem to be able to choose and the harder I try the stronger the grip it has on me..

Trauma can do that which is why it's so very wrong to hurt others as we would not want to be hurt. Bullies are so inconsiderate.

True. Either inconsiderate, or hurt so badly they become blind...

Exactly. Generational abuse is horrifically unfortunate. Thankfully each human has the ability in them to heal/regenerate and become stronger + more able to help others (as anybody would want to be helped).

1 More Response

Some scars are too deep to fade away. But if you accept that they are there, instead if trying to ignore them, you can move forward. I have seen a few hints of what you had to live through, in your stories. To think that anything I could say would be helpful feels presumptuous, stupid even. But I know how it feels to face off your demons. And the fear such confrontations bring. To face something that overwhelms you so completely, so easily. Sometimes, moving forward is the only answer. To see the future you want to live in, and throw everything you have, everything you are into making such a future a reality. Some scars are too deep to fade away, no matter how much time passes by. We cannot change that. But, this way, with time, they may cease to matter.
Best of luck.

Thank you, it's what I needed to hear :)