Should I Let Go of My Fears and Trust Again?? Confused
My husband and I have been married for two years and at the beginning of our marriage we had endless problems because of his family!! We were fighting everyday and had gotten to the point were he even hit me a few times not withstanding hte fact that I hit him back , during this period I found out that he was chatting on the internet on dating webiste (person.com) and had met a girl on the website and they were calling each other at work. When I confronted him about it he said that he was so angry with me and everything that we were going through that he just needed someone to speak to. I forgave him as he begged me and said that he will never do it again.
This year March I found out again that he was on hte dating website and was also searching for his ex-galfriend. I have his g-mail address and password and when i did a web history search on his profile I saw that he was visiting these websites again. I confronted him and he said that he was very sorry and really had no excuses this time. When I asked him about why he was searrching for his ex-galfriend again he said that one of his friends told him that his ex galfriends father had commited suicide and he wanted to send his condoloencses......
I do feel that he is genuine about his feelings now, but am feeling it very difficult to trust him again, this causes anxiety , paranoia and I even find myself snapping at him all the time!!
for the sake of peacs I want to let go of the distrust, but if I do I am opening myself up to hurt and pain If I catch him again.....I know he is really trying hard to make hte marriage work.....OH GODDDDDDDD. WHAT DO I DO????/