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Should I Let Go of My Fears and Trust Again?? Confused

My husband and I have been married for two years and at the beginning of our marriage we had endless problems because of his family!! We were fighting everyday and had gotten to the point were he even hit me a few times not withstanding hte fact that I hit him back , during this period I found out that he was chatting on the internet on dating webiste (person.com) and had met a girl on the website and they were calling each other at work. When I confronted him about it he said that he was so angry with me and everything that we were going through that he just needed someone to speak to. I forgave him as he begged me and said that he will never do it again.

This year March I found  out again that he was on hte dating website and was also searching for his ex-galfriend. I have his g-mail address and password and when i did a web history search on his profile I saw that he was visiting these websites again. I confronted him and he said that he was very sorry and really had no excuses this time. When I asked him about why he was searrching for his ex-galfriend again he said that one of his friends told him that his ex galfriends father had commited suicide and he wanted to send his condoloencses......

I do feel that he is genuine about his feelings now, but am feeling it very difficult to trust him again, this causes anxiety , paranoia and I even find myself snapping at him all the time!!

for the sake of peacs I want to let go of the distrust, but if I do I am opening myself up to hurt and pain If I catch him again.....I know he is really trying hard to make hte marriage work.....OH GODDDDDDDD. WHAT DO I DO????/

RUHI1 RUHI1 26-30, F 5 Responses Jul 14, 2008

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Okay, whew you need to leave! After reading your other stories then this I have nothing else to suggest. A married man has no right to be on a dating website for any reason! If their is a problem in the relationship which clearly, there are several he needs to communicate that problem before finding a girlfriend! I would be hurt and disgusted and would muster the strength to let go and move on. It is not easy because I know how you wanted this relationship to work but honey, I don't think it will. Like I have said before, if he truly wants it to work out, he would get help for himself. It is up to him and he doesn't seem to be making any positive moves in your marriage. See if you can stay with your parents a while. I am sorry you have to go through this. All my best to you~

Okay, whew you need to leave! After reading your other stories then this I have nothing else to suggest. A married man has no right to be on a dating website for any reason! If their is a problem in the relationship which clearly, there are several he needs to communicate that problem before finding a girlfriend! I would be hurt and disgusted and would muster the strength to let go and move on. It is not easy because I know how you wanted this relationship to work but honey, I don't think it will. Like I have said before, if he truly wants it to work out, he would get help for himself. It is up to him and he doesn't seem to be making any positive moves in your marriage. See if you can stay with your parents a while. I am sorry you have to go through this. All my best to you~

I am in total agreement with FeelingCrazy here. You've busted him twice now. Do you really think he will change? You DESERVE so much better than that! From what I've read and gathered from your personality, you are a very sweet, emotional, loving, kind person who needs someone appreciates that and can give you the kind of love that is deserving. Life is TOO short to be with those that treat you like sh*t! Life is so precious! You can control your own destiny, your own path, your own happiness, not him. :)

yeah, stop hitting each other - but I believe he is full of $hit. you busted him not once, but TWICE! I will bet a years' salary that you will pop him again doing it -- within 6 months. Don't blame his family, this is a character flaw. If he wants to have an internet girlfriend, give him the freedom to have her. Sorry, but I think he's a jerk. It has also been my experience that his family will cover for him, lie for him and make it possible for him to literally cheat on you.

Well hang in there, it might just be a thing he is going through. I feel that my problems with my wife are just not commucating enough. GOOD LUCK and hang in there.<br />
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Don't hit each other. :-)