Seeking People.

Peace eludes me most of the time because I see the big picture. To be more precise, and less condescending... I have to elaborate: I see the world as my mind perceives it, it's a personal perspective, true. But I see a whole lot of the world at once. I see human experience confirmed, infirmed, you name it.

I see... people looking for love. People who "have" love. People who "experience" love. Love is immaterial. Love is a state of mind, it fluctuates, we need a name (label) for it only because there is no way to discuss it otherwise. It is something to be felt. It can be felt everywhere in varying degrees. It is beautiful, but it is confusing.

To find love, I have been told to stop thinking, to change my thinking, to adopt new ways of thinking--as though mine was not enough! Not adequate! But who is speaking when they say such things... they are people, with their own perspectives too. Personal perspectives. Doing the best they can. If they have enough energy, they try to do that best most of the time, all the time. As far as human imperfection allows.

I have love to offer, but I am human and subject to being afraid.

I have love to offer, but I may try to protect myself from others.

I have so much love to offer... I wish there were more people out there I could talk to about this. People who do not scare easily. People willing to confront their demons rather than let them fester, or ignore them... People who can take on their demons, to the point of exhaustion, as I do.

People who would find my quest noble.

I am confused because I thought there would be more of my kind out there. More, with the same strength. With the same willingness. With the same heads-on approach to life.

But... Where are you all hiding, people? I need you in my life.

Where are you?

InvertedHeadHeart InvertedHeadHeart
31-35, F
Feb 27, 2010