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I Fantasize....

I fantasize about having an affair, but deep down don't think I could go through with it. I have been with the same man and only him for almost 18 yrs. It would be scary and strange, but then there is that part of me that would love excitement and to feel alive again. I fantasize about my ex boyfriend from years ago while having sex with my husband. That man was an AMAZING lover.... I would have multiples every time. Just thinking about the things he did, makes me blush and get hot all over. If the chance presented itself, I would love to have him in bed again. I actually have dreams about it.

I also believe I fantasize about having an affair because mostly emotionally my needs are not being met in this marriage and I feel very alone. I would love to feel close to someone again, have some one to share things with and do things with. My husband treats me badly and more like a indentured servant than a wife. I am a work horse, maid and I know he doesn't love me....

So I don't know, if the perfect opportunity presented itself....maybe, just maybe...
blissfulmiss blissfulmiss 36-40, F 46 Responses Apr 30, 2012

Your Response


i can agree with most of the comments ive too consider having anfair but i dont want to hurts my kids or end up hurt by a stranger but im so lonely i just dont want to settle for any guy ive been married 20yrs in nov only been with 3 guys sad but true ive brought some toys to try to make it better in bed for us n he hides them cause he jealous of the toy getting me to the place he cant has anyone ever gone past thoughts n acted on them just curious

Hi its good your still considering an affair it is you feeling a need for more in life so I say do it if you don' t you will always wonder and most likely regret

That's a bummer. So, any progress?

Go for it, when it presents itself...

i live yr life in another town or state lol ive been married almost 20yrs ive never cheater never gave anyone chance to get close enough but im lonely inside n out my husband loves me to death he saids but the spark between us has been gone for many yrs ive been reading 50 shades of grey OMG OMG I FEEL SO ALIVE DOWN THERE FEELINGS THOUGHTS OF JUST PLAYING WITH THE IDEA IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO AROUSING TO ME I LIKE THIS FEELING ITS ASHAMED I FEEL THE NEED TO FEEL THAT FOR REAL WITH A STRANGER BUT IM SOOOOO CONFUSED BUT SOOOO READY TO LIVE AGAIN

If the right guy turned up you'd do it. Heck, people who had NO intentions of having an affair have found themselves embroiled...

Honey do it feel appreciated and desired something a lover can bring you


Yall should go to counseling. If it's past the point of blase stagnation and he's just ****** to you either he needs to change his ways or pis off. A lady deserves better, no matter who she is pretty much, for sure.

Its time honey every wife needs to feel desirable and what better than a lover

You're a good woman for not doing so yet but it's ahrd as hell to not let loose

try it out and you will like it just make it safe like travel to another city or better yet another country. Complete industry exist in UAE where women can hookup with fine european men and spend a few days of their freedom.

First of all ,i think you sould have a very important talk with your husband.Tell him that you are unhappy by the way he treats you and that you think he doesnt love you.Tell him your thoughts.
18 years is alot of time to go whasted with an affair.It will only make things whorse.Try to make your hubby understand your feelings.i truly belive that the best way to change a marriage is if both of you try to understad eachothers needs and wants.Don't forget an EX
is an EX for a reason.Now if that doesn't work ,then you can get a divorce first,and then
date other people.It will be fair to you and your husband.

You may be my alter-ego. I'll add you and mail you... if you ignore me it's OK

Pls dont do anything silly .becoz 1st think about the reputation of ur in d society. I gone through dis but some 1 catch me red handed. Now i m d enemy of many people dear. So dont waste ur life in dis stuffs

dont do it....the level of hurt that would take place is insurmountable...once you have made the decision to have the affair with the man from your as you know it is over...their is no such thing as or the other will become emotionally involved...share your fantasies with your husband...tell him what turns you on... continue to fantasize about your former lover...but IF you do will only get worse...

I know how you feel. Not only to yearn for a past lover, but to be taken for granted. So what happened??

What ever happened? Did you start taking ice cold showers?

Dear blissfulmiss how do you know he doesn't love you? You mean he doesn't care about you at all? You are like a sreanger in the house/Did he abuse you and turn violent/ You love your children isn't it?

I would suggest tat u dnt go wit it if ur husband can't satisfy u talk to him tell him wat feels good n wat does not I tell its worth investing time in ur marriage den to have fun n regret later

hw about sharing with me i can do a good licking

What? Can he not do his thing to the fullest? You need a guy to massage your feet. Slowly kiss his way up your legs, breathe hot air on your wet little ****. Then **** the **** out of you while using a vibrator to make you have multiple *******. As it just starts to feel even better every time. And trust me, you wouldn't be able to get enough of an eight inch ****...

I fantasize about it, too. And the sexual part is secondary to the emotional contact that I dream of having with someone.

I definitely could not go through with it. I've made it this far, I have to stick it out another three years. Otherwise, the commitment I made to myself in 1994 would go to waste, and my kids are the most important things.

If he doesn't value you then why don't u deserve a fun and exhilerating boyfriend? A woman enjoying some singe-gal time and just being HER after dealing w such crap at home can be beautiful.

I will tell you that an affair will only destroy the relationship you have now with your husband. You should really consider everything before the deed is done because you can't take it back.

Now if you just want what you had with your ex then talk to your husband. You can ask for things on a food way and even make it sound like your thinking of him in the process. Tell him "You know what I would like to try......." Them insert what you want done to you. If your husband still wants to be with you then he should respond in kind. I constantly think about sex and I have thoughts about other women but I have to push those thoughts onto my wife. I have been approached by other women who have wanted to have an affair, that is always the easy road to take. Don't give up tell your husband what you want and see where that takes you first.

"Just thinking about the things he did" Did you ever talk to your husband in a sensitive way about what you might like him to do - any of those things?

But would it help, or just make you more miserable. That is the question. I wish you the best.

I have often wondered if it was possible to be married and have a lover. It sounds wonderful, but only a rear thing I think.

we all deserve happiness Bliss, If talking to your husband about your feelings and needs would not help you have few choices left. Be faithfull and unhappy or make a change in your life and go for happiness. Best wishes DP

I recently read your post and I totally understand the pain that you are feeling. This feeling of emptiness is a feeling shared by many. We want you to know that you are not alone in this situation. There are many ways of dealing with issues like the one you are speaking about. Sometimes we lose that spark, this in turn causes us to stray from what we care about so deeply. The good thing is I am working on a new project that is literally geared to help people just like you. I am a producer looking to mend couples relationships with the help of professional marriage counselors. This project is a new docu-series we are filming where we will be taking couples and putting them in a relaxing and romantic environment. This will get you away from everyday life so you can really get the quality time needed to help get your marriage back on track.. Please feel free to give me a call to discuss further. 323.860.6745 You can speak with Mark if I am not available. I hope to hear from you soon. <br />
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I am in the same boat, but I am a man, my wife doesn't pay attention to me... I'm not sure where I am headed..