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Why Im Considering An Affair!

I love my husband I really do but he doesn't really pays attention to me ,he gets home takes a shower and to the sofa ,I cloud be naked he doesn't even look at me...I guess he doesn't see me as woman anymore but just the mother of his kids!
Bella0906 Bella0906 26-30, F 83 Responses May 29, 2012

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There is no easy answer to any of this.

Dont hold back.. I lived in a sexless marriage for years.. Like you it was stay put and accept it. Try and find an outlet for the frustration... There is no need to to feel guilty 100% with your own conscience... I didnt want to stray so i left.
I knew i would stray ifi stayed. It is your choice...
Non of which is easy

Tell him how you feel, straight out tell him you will outsource your needs if he doesn't want to meet them. There is nothing peaceful about cheating. It will be exciting and amazing... then it will all go bad. Read the stories... it always does... and then they all get divorced anyways. So either leave before you deceive, or just straight out tell him you are going to do it.

he made his family abuse and use me, made me pay bills for him and his family, including food, i did all the manual labour and house work for him and family,he abandoned me when i was pregnant, never came for any antenantal classes or checkup, wasnt even there wen my baby was born, did not even buy 1 thing for the baby, did not help with feedin, bathing, night watch for the baby, still went clubbing n my baby is a yr and a half and i found out he has been cheating for years now, iv lost all the love i used to have , i hate him so much for makin me and my baby suffer, he has apologized but i cant 4get n i get soooooo angry , i had post partum depression, im so unhappy n sad n i cnt seem to get out there n look 4 some1 else, i hate him so much . what should i do.

This post is almost 1year ago. Still feel the same way ?

what would happen if you just jump his bones ?

my Wife only sees herself as the mother of our kid and shows me no affection. i'd love to help you feel desired.

You need to have the physical contact, I know how you feel. I am a man and she sits in the chair after work.

Maybe you could flirt with other guys around him, make him a little jealous. Maybe you can flat out tell him if his does not want to satisfy you, then you can go elsewhere. Doing this in a sexy outfit as you are grabbing his **** might save your marriage. Having an affair might end your marriage, now or later. Your kids will forever have mistrust in love and marriage. If you break your vows, you may never repair the damage. I know this from personal experience.

Sit down with him and talk seriously about it. The answer is not to have an extra-marital affair, it will only make matters worse not only for you but for all of the members of your family....Plus, the guilt that results from doing something rotten like that....Trust me, I have done it and I would give anything to turn back time and wipe that awful part of my life away...

If you are totally convinced you should post on craigslist.com instead.

u got to wear daily different cloths show him love and care for him ,hanve nice perfume make music show him ur lovely figure

i would give you all the attention and never leave you a loney iam very caring and loving and i keep it real at all times

never make anything more complex than it should be. it might be good to get together people with like needs,but try it as a group first. extra problems will come out everywhere.

I understand where you're coming from. My W only sees herself as a mother and forgot she has a husband. I'm basically a paycheck and pair of hands to help around the house. seems like my W and your H would be a good match!

being a man he doesn't understand your needs unless you share it with him. he might be sensitive if you bring it up harshly. do not tell him he has something to learn.

It's enticingly exciting. In which case you will probably not be able to resist, and will most likely ignore this warning at your peril.

After the fun and excitement, it will hurt like hell, and tear your heart out.

I know!

Remember these words - Don't do it!

Feel sorry for you... It could be worse.. you could be in bed naked, exposed, not covered and have your spouse cover you up with the sheets... Oh.. and she wasnt being nice by tring to keep me warm either..<br />
<br />
P.S. your avatar with those baby blue panties and nice round cheeks .. are .. freakin hot!!

can you add me thank you

All men want a new body Female<br />
<br />
The men want to get all women

And women get tired of the same man!

The man can forget anything in front of Females smile eyes ,
The man becomes a child in front of women, which owns the beauty of the soul

Look for ur happiness babe :-)

It's hard to find the right person to be in an affair with. They can be clingy and fall in love and you can too. Maybe you really want an online affair because you want to be listened to and have meaningful conversation. You want your opinions heard and understood and you just want to be yourself. These are the things that keep us in an affair otherwise its just sex. Affairs are about love, romance, flirting, listening, getting to know and expressing dreams and goals and life. It's like being in love with a best friend who won't take you for granted. The drawbacks are being in love and not being able to come home to that person everyday. But it might also be the thing to help you tolerate home life.

Do what makes you feel good!

Being taken for granted sucks. We were put here to be appreciated and if it doesn't happen, eventually we look for it somewhere else. Good luck. A lot of us guys are pigs, but not all of us.

I feel the same way whenever I try to be romantic or anything he just says thats the last thing on his mind because of work and stress from other things. Its disappointing im only 27

No way !!! you are Super Sexy and Hope some day my kid's mom looks as good as you..... just saying <br />
<br />
P.S. your *** is tantalizing !!!!

Get in touch x

Have you ever think to betray your husband with another man

I can't understand that either,I have not seen your pics, but you look beautiful to me.

tell him how you feel Bella, let him know what it is doing to you, the damage, the pain, the suffering. Tell him you need change and then see if he loves you enough to give you the changes you need. Best wishes DP

If that is your butt he is crazy. Really nice !

agreed. with zach, sometimes it's easy to forget that another guy would think about murder to be with girls like you (i mean, on physical level, idk u personally of course)<br />
<br />
maybe you should remind him... playfully at first. just enough to let him get the hint.

how can a man do a silly thing like this to a ******* sexy lady like u ???!!!!

pls add me

I'm a husband in the same position. She knows how I feel, but after the kids, it's like she's done with sex. We have sex maybe once every 3 months. Advice please.

I don't see how anyone of any gender could not see you as a woman, you have an astounding body.

Do what feels good!

Wow, that is hard to believe! You have a great rear end and I would give the world to would have had you!!!!!. Where are you from and wwould you please add me if you don't mind. Hope to hear back from you soon.

I never understand this situation. I'm on my wife when she's not naked. Good luck!

I'm going through a sexless marriage right now,it's been 2 years since my husband and I have had sex and I totally understand,mine has problems which I do believe but something happened that makes me think differently. Add me and we can talk.

wow thats really sad. i know how it can be to have a huge difference in sexual appetite and affection and its not an easy thing to deal with. Good luck. add please

I feel your pain. It's not just men that do this. My wife thinks together time is when we watch tv together. And yes, an affair is very tempting. I to have talked with her and she doesn't seem to get that men want to feel desired just like women. I have had many women offer to help with this issue and I am almost at a point where I won't tell them no anymore.

I can relate, my ex was like that.

go for it....

when things are tough like that the best thing in some cases is a change. be it a new man/woman or what ever will make you happy. dosn't sound like your hubby makes you happy.<br />
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P.S. damn thats the hottest *** i have seen on EP. you are smokin! add me

Sorry sweetie! I commented on this story before reading another one in which I learned you are now separated. At least you should now feel free to pursue another relationship of NSA fun....

It's hard to believe he could ignore you walking around naked. You are stunning in your avatar! Maybe HE is having an affair??? I think you should just flat out tell him that if he doesn't pay you the attention you deserve then you will find a man that will. If that doesn't get his attention then you should consider him fore-warned and start looking.

im a guy that feels the same as you with the whole "want to cheat" thing. if ya wanna chat message me!

I wish my wife would have an affair. It would break up the monotony. By her own admission, I am a great Husband, Father, provider and lover. However, she takes no sexual initiative. I say go for it honey. If he doesn't give you what you need, you go get it for yourself. He has a responsability to take care of your needs and he doesn;t care enough to provide them.

With a body like that i wouldn't be able to keep my hand off you!! he's slacking hard

its tough when things go dead. I was in that situation and i was the one who didn't pay enough attention to my wife. I joined ep and was originally looking to hook up with someone but having looked around here i noticed that what i needed was a space for me to explore some harmless fun outside of the relationship so that i could up my game in the relationship.<br />
<br />
i love my wife but i also need other outlets and in my case ( i am not saying the same is true for you) i felt stifled by my wife. <br />
<br />
This isnt an answer to your issues, i am just offering some understanding

Good Luck with whatever your decision is. I hope you get some happiness

Believe me, I understand your frustration here hun. I really do. I was lucky to get sex once every 3 to 4 weeks with my ex-wife and I spent a long time feeling really low about it as it starts to get your self-esteem after a while. Not to mention the day-to-day sexual frustration that can make you want to scream. I don't know if having an affair is the right thing to do, but I wanted to send you a message of solidarity. In the end, it turned out that she was having an affair in the end. It promptly ended when that came to light. She even blamed it on me going bald and said she wanted 'a lover with a full head of hair'... People like this are not worth the pain they cause. Hugs x

What a shallow *****. I hope you find a better one out there.

Thanks mate

I can see that as upsetting. Your self worth is being crushed and an important part of your persona denied. Think what you want to do, but you are entitled to feel good about yourself.

go for it, if he is not jumping on you the second you are naked there is something wrong with him.

I have contemplated the same thing and although I know some people say it saved their marriage or whatever I don't know how they cannot feel so damn guilty that they just crack and tell their spouse what they have done. Infact I don't even think I would have to tell him I think he would know and that would be the end of us. He would not forgive me.

Add me to your circle

I think if beside not having sex, everything else is great in your marriage. And your a mature women who can be descreet and keep a secret , I think you should go get it somewhere else, so as long as its just to satisfy your sexual needs and not distroy your fam. What he dont know wont hurt him.

I Am A Pychic If U Need Help Please Dont Worrie Im ill help you throw every thing depression career friendships love marrages family and more ........ contace me ...... okay ill talk 10am-10pm okay ill be here for you text me and ill be there

this is wat happens to most of the couples.....it is kind of a universal problem...you will get well if you find your happiness in something else

better think, or the kids they will be hurt am so sure.

My wife just told me whe cheated on me for the same reason's pretty much. The problem is, that I have been diagnosed with a very extreme kind of arthritis 2 months ago. Since then I went from being very active to laying around the house most of the time I'm not at work. I also told her to give me time to figure this all out. <br />
<br />
She told me she met this guy 3 weeks ago. Now by that "Timeline" we would have only been going through this for about 5 or 6 weeks. This hurts me so bad, that it only took about a month for her to break, and it's no fault of my own.<br />
What I'm getting at, is maybe there's something going on, and really all you need to do is ask first, or tell him what's on you mind. <br />
<br />
I went from being a "Man's" man to maybe being half a man, in just 2 months. I've been thinking about killing myself and she know this, and now I wanna do it more than ever. Just be upfront so you it doesn't hurt so bad, or if yo do cheat. Keep it to yourself and take it to the grave.

I would'nt mind in seeing you "as a woman" ;)

I have some very pleasant encounters because of men who ignore the very special women in their life like you....do what you feel is right just be careful....it appears as if he considers you as one of his possessions

Now I am not to sure if this would help but if haven't chatted with him. Sit down, tell him how you feel and determine how he feels. Maybe the spark is just covered by work, life etc and it just needs to be brought back. You could try "dating" each other once again. You both get dressed and you go to the pub first. Mingle around and have fun. When he shows you, go over and offer him a drink. Both just need to pretend they are single and dating.. Maybe that would help??

then he does not want or desire your body anymore...maybe he has got someone olse....u should satisfy urself other ways

I see this as a convenience issue, since love isn't the problem...<br />
Go to an adult shop, get something sexy, light some candles... If that doesn't work...

I know how you feel i've been married 12 years now and me and the wife have been together for a lot longer then that. when i try to get frisky with her she seems to be to tired for anything. i cant remember the last time we went on a date and i have offered many time

your husband is a eunuch if these are your real boobs....say him that on behalf of me...and come to me...i will give u wat your body deserves

Be brutally honest to him. Tell him your feelings and what you want and give him an ultimatum and stick to it. That way you know what his intentions are to you; whether or not you are the sexual partner he wants or just a mother and caretaker for him and his children. It may not turn out the way that you hope but at least you can feel good about knowing that you did the right thing.

Affairs are not the answer. As someone has said, you are not looking for sex, you are looking for a good relationship with your husband. Those do not just happen. A good marriage must be built and maintained daily.<br />
<br />
Consider some of the reasons this may be happening. Maybe life is just getting routine, tiring, etc? Maybe age is taking its toll a little. As men age, and the sex drive changes a bit, it can be difficult to adapt.<br />
<br />
Take some time for just the two of you. Get away if you can or if not, have a friend or relative take the kids for a weekend. Spend some of the time talking, but also spend the time adding a little spice to things. Try something new, be willing to initiate things. By the way, have you TRIED just walking by naked sometime?<br />
<br />
Sometimes it takes effort to get out of a rut, but that effort may take you to a great place.<br />
<br />
If you still need help, find a good marriage counselor or your minister. Avoid some of these types we see on this board that want to make themselves available for an affair. They are boys, not men. They care nothing about you, and they will not be giving you the relationship that you crave.

God forbid you get caught. What will your kids say? If you do go for it make sure you are discrete. Ever consider seperation or divorce?

Tell him all of this. Give him an option to improve.

Wow--how your husband could not pay attention to you is beyond me. Stop by and see my pictures. I think you might like what I have--I know I like what you have. Thanks!

Affairs are a double edged sword - more like a big drug IMHO. You can lose yourself easily, find yourself balling your eyes out- much more often than feeling the rush of an illicit love. And when it ends - it leaves scars.<br />
<br />
And the other posts are true- if you get caught it will be the end of whatever crumbs you now have - rebuilding your marriage after an affair is a hard road.<br />
<br />
If you are really ready to walk - why not just walk? If not -- maybe consider trying to fix you marriage, you can never fix it when you are having an affair. So I think much like doing drugs - They feel great -some of the time-- but affairs are just pushing the real problems down the road. Still, they feel great ... <br />
<br />
The mind -- what a scary place to be in alone huh?

if he doesnt notice some awesome boobs like htat, somethings wrong with him anyway.

If those are your boobs and he doesn't notice you and you're as frisky as you sound.......Damn no words I think the writings on the wall.

you will have so much shame if you have an affair. Sure it might seem exciting and fun at first but having sex is not what you want. You want a strong relationship with your husband. Be bold and brave and tell your husband exactly what your needs are. Get a marriage councilor if he doesn't listen to you.

Have fun life is too short to be hung up by one person live baby

Happily ever after doesn't just happen unfortunatly. There are days i just don't feel as attracted to my wife as i did before, even though i wish i did. But we all get old and ugly, but some people stay together, why, i think because the relationship is built on more than looks. There is obviously something wrong between the way you two are relating, I find i wnt my wife the most when we have been together having fun for the day, when we're close as friends. I know its hard with kids, i just have one and our sex has considerably gone down. But I would suggest you guys try to find some areas you can cut back so you can be together more! for me it was computer and gaming time, i was almost addicted to it, needed to stop. I hope you guys work things out you seem like great person!

LEAVE HIM !!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN BE NAKED AND HE DOESNT LOOK AT YOU? LEAVE HIM, HE DOESNT LOVE YOU. LEAVING HIM WILL HURT LESS THAN HAVING THE AFFAIR. Good luck.

I felt the same way after my wife had my son, so I had an affair. Now she is my ex. But it is prolly one of the best decisions I have ever made.

Go for it! ...90% of th world doez it, why should you be any different, Im available! :-]}

rockstar,u home wrecker!lol

Hey, if YOU ever get th URGE, Im availabl for u TOO!..lol :-]}

Yes I have..and it's to the point that I don't really care if I get caught maybe that will help him to open his eyes and see what he has!

The outcome of that is never good dear he will have completely lost respect for you and the end usually comes swiftly there after.

Just a thought ... If he is not even paying attention to you when you are naked in front of him then like (1prettygirl) said tell him how you feel.. Maybe he is exerting himself with someone else. Or maybe he is bored!! time to change the sex up. Very nice looking body from what I can see in your picture.. In all politeness

I'm not sure that an affair is so bad, it saved my relationship. You should do what makes you happy.

I'm looking for a swift end to my marriage. So, having an affair may well do the trick? What are you doing next week? :p

you have gorgeous curves from what i see. i dont understand how you being nude in front of him he doesnt see you? that would turn me on....

Maybe it is what he is trying to make happen. If we accept this idea then the question becomes why. If I caught my wife cheating I would be happy she was exploring her sexuality and want to be involved help her get ready hear stories ect. I know my best friend is in the same boat. However one of my other good friends would leave. just a thought

most men dont realize what they have until its gone so if he wont pay attention to you i would love too!!!!!!!

I agree with Shelle48 100%... Unless u plan on leaving ur husband think about what u do. Everything has a consequence. Good or bad. Ask him if he would like to have a 3some... That ur curious about spicing things up for the both of u... and see how it goes from there.

I am single looking for a girl like you so let me know if you are interested on me my e mail s
s extrade@bellsouth.net My name is Joseph Emmanuel

6 More Responses

Before u have an affair,#1,have u told him how u feel?#2,what will happen if u get caught?I'm on your side u need attention,it's very insulting when i man,doesn't pay attention even if u r naked in front of him!