Old Flames

I am a happily married woman for the past 12 years. Before my current marriage I was involved with a man for six years. The reasons why we never married are complicated, but after we split, I met my current husband. I guess part of me still felt a connection to the old flame. He recently contacted me, and we started communicating through emails and texts. He says he still has feelings for me, and the previous complications that prevented us from marrying are no longer there. However, I have built a good relationship and life with my husband, and I am not interested in tearing that up. I am happy to stay in touch with the old flame, but don't really see it going anywhere. I wonder if this is considered cheating?
ShiftsandChanges ShiftsandChanges
51-55, F
5 Responses Nov 4, 2012

<p>&nbsp;<p>For everyone considering an affair, this is a great piece written in the New York Times. Though I never actually physically engaged in the affair I was considering, we did become close emotionally, and it was taking away from my own life. I became detached. Ultimately, I found out I don't have the energy to live a full, satisfying life, and have an affair. I broke off our communication. The price was too high for me. Here is the article:<br />
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<a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/12/fashion/12Modern.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0</p>" rel="nofollow">http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/12/fashion/12Modern.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0</p><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2010/12/12/fashion/12Modern.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0</p>" rel="nofollow"><p></p>

Do whatever you feel you want to. Life is too short to worry. R XX

I have some experience wiht this. I felt like it was okay as long as we did not do anything physical. Yes you can be freinds with this man, but if you are not sharing this friendship with your husband, keeping it a secret, then it is cheating. Emotional cheating, but still cheating.

no, that is friendship. It doesn't become cheating until you two do something that should be reserved for husband and wife.

Is it cheating? No, however if its something you can't share with your spouse than in your heart you know it's wrong.....if you can truly be JUST friends with your ex then tell your hubby about him....if he is ok with you two talking then its not a secret and not wrong but if your hubby gets pissed you need to cut it off with the ex....out of respect for your hubby....good luck.... : )

I like your ideas. I think I would feel better if everything were out in the open. I hate stealth friendships. Thank you.