Serious Responses Only Please

my daughter wanted to live with her grandparents and one weekend while visiting with them she told them tht her father beat her and a few months later she said he molested her well he had to go to court and he took a plea deal now he is on probation and the sex offenders registry for the rest of his life i just dnt know who to believe he says he never touched her and she says she is telling the truth i have two sons to that love their father but now any activities with them i have to do alone if u were in my position would u try to keep your family together or move on to another state and try to start over get a fresh start? and to add to my troubles the only place i have found comfort in all of this is in the presence of a married man and he wants me to move closer to him so that he can have an affair with me
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7 Responses Nov 7, 2012

First off, choose your daughter!!!!! Drop your husband & move off to another state and start over!!!!!!!

Skip the affair.
Keep family together.
Ask Jesus to break in
Seek healing. Esp your husband.
Whole family needs effective therapy with a therapist who is expert in both trauma and relationships

lets chat sometime I am a great listener who is non judgmental.sounds like to me though u should try and start some place new and away from him.just my personnel opinion,an just so u know I would never take a plea deal if I didn't do it.would u.well I hope we can talk/chat sometime.until then

To be very honest with you father or not no man take a plea if they didn't do anything.I was abusive when i was younger an i just told my mother about two years ago an im 31 yrs old thats how long i had been holding this pain please believe your daughter.just do what you feel best for you and your kids but think about it if you move closer he still won't be just yours dont invest to much in that have a back up plan no matter what

Find a better outlet for comfort...find someone not married. Why be the catalyst for his home life, OR, why settle as a side attraction? When there are others out there not involved?

help your children ... but dont help that married guy hurt a woman in a way you would not want to be hurt

It seems quite a dilema to know what's right. First I'd look at the evidence and see if there is any that corbarates either side. After that I'd look at motivations: His is more obvious; cover his guilt or defend his inocence. Either way his story will be muxh the same. How about the way he delivered his denials? Has he a history of lying? As for your daughter could she be out for revenge? How did they get along? Is she a "drama queen" or prone to exageration? Lastly look at how they behaved before the accusations did she act differently around him? Avoid him? Cringe when he came near? Do you recall anything that just seemed odd or not right? You may never know, but I know it must be devestating either way.