Its Not Always White Or Black...but A Few Shades Of Grey In Between

I could not help the shades of grey reference :)

I am a new member here. been reading these posts and stories, pretty much trying to get a feel for the lay of the land here...and getting a sense of what kind of folks and stories float here, as I stumbled upon here thanks to google...

looks to me like either people are in a sexless relationship or an adulterous one. I would presume there are atleast some people here who like me, fall in between the two. I am married, happy and for the most part rather blessed in more ways than one. Yes, there is something to be desired on the physical side, but I would not brand our marriage as sexless, even though recent events has caused it to be such.

But even with the physical activity, there is always a feeling of something being amiss...whether its actions or acts or positions or passions - you either know it or you dont get it.

But I often wonder if there are others like me who are happy and want to stay married...while having a certain alternative to have the physical desire or need fulfilled? The elusive FWB or "special friend" yes, but not is the way we have come to expect it - not a **** buddy or a wham bam thank you mam...on the contrary, someone who is on the other side of the equation, is on the same page, in the same situation, and has the same intent and motivation - to stay married, to continue to be emotionally and otherwise committed to your marriage and family, and yet, be in a mutually respectful, discreet if needed, and safe friendship...and I say friendship and not a relationship because not all of us desire a one night stand or sex...and thats where the shades of grey creep in...and I am hard pressed to believe that the only colors out there are black or white.

so are there any folks looking for grey out here...or is this a platform for the in/out black/white kind of crowd?
Irvineoc Irvineoc
31-35, M
1 Response Nov 26, 2012

I enjoy this type of relationship as well, and wish I could have it with my husband. I was in an open relationship for six years prior to meeting and marrying my husband, and enjoyed it a lot. I sacrificed that lifestyle for my husband, and here four years later, I am considering an affair. It's not that I'm unhappy with our marriage... I just want more. :/ I probably won't go through with it. It all seems a little selfish when explaining it...

I too have similar desire like you but probably wont go through with it. I just want more than what i get from my wife..a little more xcitement!

i think a lot of people desire it and want to do it, but hold back. some for lack of options and others for lack of wanting to rock the boat.