Do Not Want To Live In A Desert

Thank you for your comment and encouragement. The affair thing seems to come more from my being a bit self centered; however, there is little point of staying in the game with a losing hand.
Wanting love, romance, passion, adventure and sex in a marriage is not wrong. I am not talking of swinging from vines and events that are way on the side of unusual. Heck her just initiating physical contact would be a dramatic change.
I am rather clear that going down the road of an affair is risky and may be the end of this marriage not to mention disrespectful of our relationship. Yet back and forth I go.... is it not as, or even more, disrespectful to me and our relationship to refuse to seek medical or emotional help?
This slope I am on ....slipping away seems to be gaining momentum and getting steeper as time goes by. The hunger, for feeling wanted as a sensual being as opposed to being a room-mate is a powerful force indeed. I am not willing to settle for crumbs when I know there is a banquet of life happening, a banquet I want to participate in.

I understand your frustration completely. I will disclose perhaps the opposite to what you are having. My husband was diagnosed with protate cancer 2 yrs ago, prostate was removed then & he is dancer free today. Yet, because the surgery there have been some health related issues where our sex life has suffered drastically!!! So, I am just takinf it day by day in that respect. Despite the fact that I miss the physical contact, I try my best to understand the situation & have never thought of an affair, because I adore my husband & respect him, as well as appreciate him. All I can say to you, is seek happiness but do it the righ & honest route. Wish you the best!

I appreciate your insight and suggestions.
Having my "junk" working is not the problem. Even the most skilled and well equipped farmer is unable to use their skills and tools in an environment that doesn't foster or support growth.

Indeed lol, wasnt so much implying that there was something wrong w your junk, just that making it bigger/etc will make you feel better about yourself, which will make your wife want you more(if your flacid hang gets 2" longer, she will notice and take interest..i promise). Really though if there is anything causing confidence problems (outside the sexual desert) i would address it

In past relationships, when i hit sexual ruts, it was always due to confidence issues, women are incredibly keen to confidence levels.

Its so hilarious how man talk / write to eachother, totally different than us females in some ways. I had a couple of laughs while reading this.

Yeah, I suppose size matters more to some than others. His statement (after re-reading this post), about confidence may well have resonance. it is difficult to have confidence if you never get to practice let alone perform.

True.
Pure love can in theory exist without pure sex. Sex is not an absolute for love. Healthy mature human emotional relations require the 5% "adhesion" sex provides. I am a healthy man and believe if I am to be involved in an emotional relationship I believe having a sexless relationship is not healthy for me. I can seek all I care to in the desert for verdant pastures yet the environment is such that it will not support much life. In my case I am nearing the point of believing if I am to survive I need to move on, or find irrigation.

It seems you have to move on. There is no love in your relationship.
Pure love exist without sex. I am sure you love multiple people and you don't have that 5%. Of course not.
On the other hand, a good partner should provide both love and sex, for sure, and many other things difficult to enumerate. If, for whatever the reason, with your partner is only sex that is missing, you can find it elsewhere. If your partner doesn't like concerts, you could go with someone else and you wouldn't break your partnership, unless this issue is so relevant that could put your relation in question. I am not going to deny that sex is terribly important. But it seems you are looking for a divorce and not for an affair. Think carefully and act on.

An excellent point. Thank you much for your insights. Sometimes, I am guilty of having blinders on, thank you again.

Truly not that I am aware of. She is over 50 and couches much of her lack of libido in that. However what I have and continue to read is women having near zero libido after 50 is more folklore than fact.
I know you are correct about telling her where I am at. To some degree I have yet I am sure I can be more direct and less circumspect.

I'm glad you brought that up...I truly don't like generalization. I do not have the medical knowledge or the related facts, I can only speak for myself. I went through menopause early and in my early 40s my libido shot through the roof and it has only come down occasionally since then. I am now waaaay past 50 and the last sexual encounter I had with my husband (too long ago now to remember) he was huffin & puffing to keep up....and he's 8 yrs younger than me. Our mileage varies. Sounds to me like your wife needs to be seen by her doctor however if she's anything like my husband she may go but she may not push the issue. "You can lead a horse to water.....".