Do Not Want To Live In A DesertA desert; vast, empty, difficult to sustain life and scant precipitation. That is what I often feel my marriage is like.
First the positives:
My wife ( I believe) is not seeking romance or the like outside of the marriage.
She does her share (and more) of the basic domestic stuff like laundry, cooking and cleaning.
She contributes her fair share to the financial well being of the household.
She tells me she loves me regularly.
Nearly zero sex and less passion and romance.
She complains of a myriad of physical ailments and refuses to see a physician or therapist.
Little things that become big ones;
She will not disengage the couch or whatever she is doing to greet me when I get home.
When she arrives home from work it is nearly impossible to get her attention or any type of affection other than the most cursory pecks on the cheek.
Candle lit dinners prepared by me, running a bath for her (with or with out candles and or bubble
bath ..... may elicit a thank you.
Whole body massage...some as long as an hour only serve to put her to sleep of I get a res-
pose to the effect "Oh that was so nice lets not ruin it with sex.'
Flowers, jewelry, cards, letters (and emails) don't seem to pique her romance.
So you see I feel I live in a Desert. Nothing seems to flourish, I have read the books, spoke with the so-called experts,and sought advice from other couples.....VAST resources yet nothing seems to grow. I am left empty, and frequently feeling sorry for myself .
So I am thinking having an affair with an understanding woman, one capable of romance, passion and yes loving me. A woman healthy enough to want and seek intercourse. I believe if I were to find such a woman I would leave this desert for an environment where I might flourish.
My wife has said should she ever find out I was having an affair that would be the end....I haven't the courage (YET) to let her I am feeling it is over anyway.