Comfortable With Wife Having Affair, But Just Want To Know For Sure Because I Like The Idea As Long As I Can Keep Her Too.

I am in an 18 year marriage. I have had my indescretions in the past but nothing serious since my wife really does it for me. However I have told her during sex that I fantasize about her with another man. This leads to ****** immediatly. She has been flirted with etc. over the years but I think it has finally happened recently. I made mention of this mans name in bed and she said that she could try it with him. I am comfortable with it as long as I know and am kept in the loop. I do not believe she will leave me and if this helps her with some frustration or fantasy then its all good. She leaves her underwear laying around most of the time, but some times she takes them off and throws in a load of laundry imediately when getting home, very uncharacteristic. etc. Am I an idiot?
bluefloyd1 bluefloyd1
41-45, M
5 Responses Jan 10, 2013

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I wrote a huge update and it didn't post...

Kelsey and Perspective gave you good advice. Nothing to add here. Good luck

You will have to keep reassuring her that you are being truthful about this. People have been conditioned not to be open in relationships, and you have to be sure it is what you want. Fantasy is way different than actuality in this . There is no going back once that line is crossed. Good luck K

You should speak to her about it and tell her that you are comfortable with it as long as you are involved. If she is doing it behind your back and is not honest with you, then there are probably deeper issues in the relationship. Bringing other people in is ok ONLY when it is a choice made together and something you are both completely comfortable with. In any other scenario it will more likely just lead to trouble down the road. Best of luck!