Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

Smiles In the Morning

It started 2 weeks ago when I first noticed her smiling at me every morning when we'd cross paths on the way into the office.  At first I thought she was just being friendly so I started smiling as well.  The weather here has been drab and cold the last few weeks and I've started looking forward to our brief encounters.  There is no question that our eyes lock on each other for several seconds and I am attracted to her.

The kicker is that I am married with kids and realize that this could be disastrous.   The problem is I can't get her off my mind and can't wait to see her again.  I don't know what to say but feel like we are at a point where I need to a least introduce myself.  This isn't a sexual thing but I feel like I did when I was a teenager and had my first crush. 

Any advice? 
nwobhm nwobhm 41-45, M 8 Responses Feb 10, 2007

Your Response

Cancel

This will be the biggest mistake of your life! First go to your wife and talk with her. You both need to get from the other what you need: physically and emotionally. How long have you been married? Do you love your wife? How many kids and how old are they? Not to mention how unbelievably costly it will be during and after the divorce. The insecurity that will rise up in your children that they may not ever overcome, will be because their father couldn't use his head and think through the ramifications of his selfish desires.
Check out these and turn your marriage into the most rewarding relationship you can imagine.
www.marriagefitness.com
www.strongmarriagenow.com
My ex wife just divorced me so she could be with our good "friend" and the damage and crap is only starting. We have 2 girls that are 9 & 6. Not to mention 95% of all relationships that come from an affair are gone within 5 yrs. That jumps to 99% if it makes it past 5 and goes to 10 yrs. And that makes sense, in the back of the other person's mind will always be, when are they going to cheat on me? The problems associated with what you're thinking of doing will go on forever!

Since I typed all this up and saw you posted this back in 2007, I'm curious what happened?

Men are ruled by their penis, but there are kids involved here. My advice as a women....**********. Honestly hun, the climax should clear your head ( albeit briefly) allowing you to think on the matter. Your wife divorces you over an affair, say goodbye to your kids.....its NOT worth it!

OMG! Older Eastern European women fk like bunnies and are insatiable!<br />
<br />
But you better be on your "A" game. They will eat you up sexually.<br />
<br />
<br />
And before you have an affair, figure out how not to get caught.<br />
<br />
t

In addition to what the others have said I would suggest that you tell your wife about the whole thing. For one it will clear you of any guilt feelings that you would have had (and you definitely have some whether you acknowledge it or not) and secondly it will raise your worth in the eyes of your wife. She would realise that you did not have to tell her and her love and admiration for you will hit the roof. Try it and see!

In addition to what the others have said I would suggest that you tell your wife about the whole thing. For one it will clear you of any guilt feelings that you would have had (and you definitely have some whether you acknowledge it or not) and secondly it will raise your worth in the eyes of your wife. She would realise that you did not have to tell her and her love and admiration for you will hit the roof. Try it and see!

NO! In what way does telling the wife earn you brownie points?! Some things are better off not said. It could raise questions in your wife's mind such as "What are we lacking that he would be looking elsewhere? What is wrong with me? Don't I turn him on anymore? What if it happens again?" and a myriad of other questions and doubts.

I would steer clear of that piece of advice...and if you and the Mrs. are doing well, don't mess it up!

Excellent first step, nwobhm. <br />
<br />
Your next will be when you ask her out for coffee. That will resolve the problem of the resurgent feelings that is on its way. ;-)<br />
<br />
Nothing wrong with an older woman. Nothing wrong with eastern European accents, either. You did the right thing by telling her you are married. Now she is able to weigh her options, just like you.<br />
<br />
P.S. Enjoy!

Well I finally introduced myself to her on Wednesday. Meeting her pretty much ended the fantasy & feelings I had. After getting up close I found that she was older than I previously thought and she also had a pretty thick eastern european accent. Anyway we talked for a bit and I told her I was married.

Good!!!

Stop to think of what you have and if you are ready to give it up because if you have an affair there is a good chance your wife might leave you. That also means arranging visiting plans with your kids because there is a big chance they will live with her or they may be split. Maybe see a friend or a professional to see where these feelings are coming from. And if you don't want to do it a friend can always pull you out of a mess you don't want to get in to. Hope things will work out with you and your family. Stay strong!!!