What To Do, What Is Best?

I'm about 3 months pregent right now, and I'm so unsure what to do. I'm 29 but will be 30 when my child is born, I would think at this point in my life I would be in a better place then I am, but due to a lot of bad desions in the past I'm still trying to get my life together. The father of my child is someone who I dated and cared a lot about, but althoug he cared about me, it was in a diffrent way then I cared about him. He knows I'm pregent, but when we talked about it he really wanted me to abort. I put a lot of thaugh in to aborting, but in the end decided to have to baby. I havent told my ex, he is serving 120 days in jail for a dwi, and I don't want to add to the issues he is facing right now. ( He knew I was pregent befor going to court and finding out that he was going to jail). I don't have a job right now having lost my job due to the days I was forced to call due to morning sickness, and although I'm looking right now I know that I may end up in a low paying job and that it will be very hard to support my self, much less a child. It hurts to think about carring this child for 9 months only to kiss him or her goodbye and hand them over to someone else to rase, yet am I being fair to think that I can provide a good life for my child if I try to rase them my self?
rescueangel rescueangel
26-30, F
6 Responses Jul 17, 2010

When I got pregnant the first time, I was 15 and had no idea what it was like to raise a baby on my own...I found a wonderful family through my aunt and they came to me, sent me letters and pictures, and brought their other adopted child (they were unable to have children of their own) out to meet me and my family. I loved them immediately and felt comfortable not only giving them my child, but also having them (or her) in the delivery room with me. When I decided to place my second child for adoption (I was unable to care for her in the way that I felt that she deserved), they got certified as foster parents and took her into their home. I still have contact with both of my children through open adoption-the only way that I could give up my children. I am now 33, have had the opportunity to go back to school, to travel and to see and do many things that I would not have been able to do with a child. I am ready to take that next step in my life and have another child. I love my previous two children and would not trade them for anything, but I don't consider them "mine" in the traditional sense. They belong to their "parents" who have raised them from infancy and the age of 3 and who love and nuture them.<br />
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Adoption is a very wonderful thing and if you are not in a place to take care of your child and you fully understand, I would start with an agency that specializes in adoption-talk to them, have them explain your options, weigh the good with the bad and from there, you will be better able to make a decision.<br />
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I hope that my story can help you.

Good decision not to abort! I want to tell you don't do it! Keep your baby! You seem like you will be a great mom! And your old enough to be finically stable for your baby! (not bashing) but in my Opinion adoption is the east way out (for moms who can provide). I chose not to take the easy way put and be a mother to my twins at only 16. I made the right decision! Motherhood is amazing and I can't imagine a day without my kids in n life! The only people who will seriously erge you to HIV up your baby is someone who wants it for themselves! Keep your baby!

My little daughter was born Jan 1, 2011, I did arrange for her to be adopted. I worked with a agency and they helped me so much in working out what I wanted to do, and I was able to find a loving couple that adopted my little one. It was really hard to give her up, but l knew I would never be able to give her everything that they can. Her parents have been great about keeping in contact with me and sending me loads of pics, and for me that helps. I arranged for an open adopetion, and even though it hurts every time I see her and then have to give her back and walk away, Im glad that I'll get to see her grow, and she will be able to know what I am and that I g ave her up out of love. The biggest thing I want her to know is that she is loved, and that I gave her away out of love, not that she was unwanted.

God bless you for making the decision not to abort!

That is wonderful! I know it is hard!

I understand completely having been in your prediciment twice myself. I love having an open adoption and my kids are old enough to be able to visit me without their parents should that be something that they would want to do.

RescueAngel, My husband and i have tried for 6 yrs to have a child. We are now looking in to adoption. If you are thinking about giving your baby up. we would love to share our home with him or her. Please contact me ilynngala04@yahoo.com

RescueAngel, I do not know where you are in your decision to parent or make an adoption plan, but I wanted to give you our website to look at in case you are still considering an adoption plan for your baby. My husband and I are loving parents to our sweet daughter whom we adopted 4 years ago. We are homestudy approved and waiting to adopt for a second time. Our family adoption website: gallagherfamilyadopt.weebly.com<br />
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My thoughts and prayers are with you whether you choose to parent or make an adoption plan. <br />
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Sincerely, Sara

Hi Rescueangel,<br />
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I'm iin my 7th week now. Without the father to be.<br />
Going thru a tough life.<br />
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U can write to me on bull2604atgmaildotcom<br />
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You're a brave woman.