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Always Insanely Bored.

I've never met anyone, as of yet, who can understand or relate to the intense boredom that I feel. When I am bored, I literally feel myself losing my mind; an antsy-crazy-going off the deep end feeling.

I sleep half the day just so I don't have to worry about the feeling of having nothing to do. But, then there's still the other half of my day that I have to go through. Sometimes the boredom isn't so intense, and I can be content with a book to read, or a random conversation with someone online. However, there are times where nothing can stop me from feeling so insanely bored; reading, talking, watching TV, listening to music, searching the net for random things - none of this works.

I walk around my house like a zombie, or I just find myself sitting on the floor staring at the wall. It's crazy. I get agitated, jittery, sometimes I can't keep still and I just find myself walking up and down the passage, just for something to do. Or I sit down and just slap my palms against my thighs. And, of course, when I'm in this "state", thoughts that I would rather not be thinking about surface, and I can't do nothing to distract myself from them, so I end up thinking about crap that I've pushed to the back of my mind, and then I get depressed.

So, I'm bored and depressed, which is a terrible combination.

It seems my hobbies don't even keep my entertained anymore. Nothing does. I have no motivation to do anything, either, although there are lots of things I wish I could be doing right now. My Agoraphobia gets in the way, and the fact that I have no friends; I have no one to hang out with, and my Agoraphobia prevents me from going places on my own.

There's lots of things I want to experience, I want an adrenaline rush, I want to have fun, I want to see things and just be happy with life. But instead, I'm always bored, doing the same thing every day from the moment I wake up and until I go to sleep. For once I wish I could be excited about something, excited to go do anything fun, to get out of the house and do something completely different.

There's great scenery where I live, lots of nature life, a beautiful river; even just getting out of the house to soak up all the nice views would be wonderful. But again, Agoraphobia gets in the way of that, and Mum isn't someone who's really into going places unless she really needs to. So I'm stuck in this house, surrounded by the blue walls of my bedroom, day in and day out, wishing for something more.

I crave adventure so much, it's a constant need and an endless thought. There's a world out there I'm yet to see; the sounds of wildlife, the scents of nature, the sun shining down on me, it's warm rays soaking into my skin. The presence of people, the smell and taste of different foods, the feel of the Earth against the soles of my feet.

I'm always envisioning adventures I wish to go on, I can always picture it so clearly, and then I open my eyes and I'm back in my dull life.

Anyway, bottom line of this, is that I am tired of feeling so bored to the point where I feel I am going to go insane, literally. I hate the feeling, I hate what those days make me think, and I hate that as much as I try to visualise myself being happy and having adventures, I fear that I'd never get to be that person.

tianajade tianajade 18-21, F 25 Responses Nov 10, 2012

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You need to fall in love Tiana!
Cheers

**** no.

I suggest you create a routine for yourself every day. Make a to do list for yourself from the moment you wake up to when you go to sleep. Include everything you can think to do, even the most boring and mundane activities, from self-care to chores to entertainment. Try to fill every minute on your list. Each day, cross them off as you go, try your best to adhere to it. Little by little, add daily challenges to your list. Start with something small like standing next to an open window for 5 minutes or walking to the mailbox each day. As you cross each challenge off your list, you will see your daily progress begin to take shape and you will begin to feel a sense of purpose in life again. In the end, we are all the products of our daily habits. Good luck I hope this advice can help as it has helped others!

You are far too young and beautiful to be board. Get out do things, see things. Make food, make love, make conversation with someone new. Walk barefoot on wet grass, you are the author of your life so start writing.xx

Watched Secret Life of Walter Mitty recently and this reminded me of it. Really though I can understand what it's like. I'm on here right now looking for ways to change life a little. It's maddening to feel like a goldfish in a glass bowl, never knowing what's really out there. It's kind of like Groundhog Day, where after the same thing over and over the character is willing to even kill himself to make things change... but that doesn't really solve anything. The fear itself though is tricky, it can begin to encompass everything except the small circle of comfort we have in our rooms to ourselves. Comfort doesn't really describe it though, it's more like we depend on it NEED it just to escape the eyes of fear looking at us. I've been uncovering these fears one by one for a while, most of them are insecurities about how other people will think - projections of their judgements on ourselves that become real for us. After so long of not seeing the world out there we become content that our small room is all we will ever see. At least I've gotten that far, but when I see someone like you reaching out I just want to take you and show you there's so much more! Even though I couldn't do that for myself x) well I hope things are looking up, and make sure to share any insights you find about it with me, because I am dealing with insane boredom these days.

Yeah, you've described it spot on. Things are still the same, for me, though. I did have a work trial last month, that lasted a full month, so I wasn't bored in the slightest. Now that's over, and I'm back to the same ol' same ol'. Sleeping the days away because my dreams are all that's interesting in my life at the moment. Ha.

Been there, except for the Agoraphobia. It seems like nothing keeps my interest very long, and when I am doing something to while away the time, it is tedious, as my mind knows it's not about the destination, nor the journey, rather just a means to do something other than nothing. Movies, books, games, mere distractions, then more of the same, I can relate. I am not depressed, I feel I am well adjusted, I just don't take a passionate interest in much...
I know what Agoraphobia is, but I don't really know much about it, nor the severity of your case. If I may offer a suggestion though, Have a trusted friend or your Mum bring you on the next shopping trip and rather than staying with your party, try taking a book with you, sit in the food court or a coffee shop, sit with your back to the wall so you have that security, then engage in people watching, you may find that it will ease your symptoms If not, call your party, have them meet you so you can have the security of their company. I do not like crowds either, but it is due to my impatience with the very common lack of common sense and common courtesy so often encountered in crowded environments. I think my boredom is more of the realization that I am a finite comodity that, in all reality has little to no consequence in our infinite environment. My best therapy has been to reduce my environment to what is important to me, such as family and work; the areas where I have the greatest influence on my environment. At least there, my contributions are more apparent, so I realize the value in engaging in activities and interacting with people. Mind you, my environment is fluid and changes at any moment, however, interatcing at home and work are the most rewarding.
I hope you are able to shake your boredom and I hope you learn to cope and overcome your Agoraphobia . Good luck and Merry Christmas.

Wow I feel the exact same way every day of my life.

well i do get bored easily and what makes it worse i dont sleep much, so im always trying to figure out things to do. usually at night is the worst cause there is nothing on tv (even though i dont watch tv lol) and also that everyone is pretty much asleep at that time. but in saying that, i dont have agoraphobia, so that must be very hard to live with. especially if you get bored very easily and constantly need to be doing things. dont you have any friends near you that can go out with you and take you places.. or a boyfriend?

Nope, I don't have any friends.

thats a real shame, are you an only child?

...try doing some new stuff. If you like it, then you have a new hobby. If not, try something else.

i understand what you mean..I had those days in my life too..now I do anything to avoid it but do enjoy being by myself once in a while. All I did was make little changes step by step..and it does make difference. :) wish you luck and peace in mind.

Thank you. (:

If I don't mark the places I've been with a little pee, I'll never remember how to get back home.

For me, my agoraphobia (which is relatively mild) is about being around other people, particularly in crowded places. If yours is anything like mine, might I suggest going somewhere "out" where you will be alone? (or, if not alone, with another person with whom you are comfortable). If being out like that, exposed, is a problem, can you tolerate going for a ride in an unpopulated place?

Mine is pretty much leaving the house to go anywhere on my own. Being in crowded places and around people makes it worse, but even if I have to leave my house to walk down the street by myself, I can't do it. I always need to be with someone. And that's a problem, because I have no one to hang out with.

When I get my full license, I am hoping that doing some driving would help.

Are you ok in a car if someone else is driving -- someone with whom you are comfortable?

Yes. But I don't have anyone. Mum doesn't like wasting petrol. I'll just wait until I have my full license. It's only 2 months away.

You always have to be with someone.... does it help if you're talking to someone on the phone? Can you walk then?

I wouldn't have anyone to talk on the phone to.

Climb a tree, swat a bee, even if it makes you crampy. You're good down deep, you're what I should keep. I'll make you a queen. Your skin has a sheen. I'll stop now before its too late. I'm not one to hate. Please be my mate.

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I feel the same way, everyday I'm bored even though I try my best to think positive and find something mentally stimulating. But for some reason i always end up back to the same zonky feeling i get all the time and i cant seem to find a solution no matter what. I barely have friends and if i am hanging with a group of people i get extremely uncomfortable and dont say a word and if someone pressures me to talk i get embaressed, which is why i spend my time mostly alone, But i wish more than anything that i could just for once enjoy life.

Spending time alone is always the safest and easiest option, and for a while it could be just enough, but it's not always. I sure don't want to be alone and bored for the rest of my life.

yes, I agree

you just described me to a tee. I too hate hanging out with a group of people and having to interact. I still want to be better and not be alone all the time. I believe college is helping me with my social skills though, but I there is still ample amount of room for improvement.

I understand your boredom. One of my daughters is receiving help for depression. Which I suffer from due to life circumstances also. Her psychologist informed us that her boredom is part and parcel with depression. You sleep to avoid feeling thinking doing. So the solution is to keep active. Your boredom is based on what you are allowing yourself to do. Start simple.....find something that perks your that may be outside your box of what you would normally do. Put out of your mind internet TV and other devices that actually stunt your personal growth. .....Take a chance never know what you discover when you do.

Thank you for the advice!

I really feel ya... Some days very baddd thoughts come into my head, like suicidal thoughts :( and its purely from boredom and lonelyness. I'll find myself pacing around the house, sitting in silence just thinking bout bad memories, thinking about how boring my life is, thinking about how useless and unloved I feel, thinking about all the other productive things I COULD be doing, but just cannot find the motivation.anywhere. and as you said, I sleep most of the day away just so.I don't have to deal with an entire days of boredom. :( life is so depressing.

I hope things look up for you soon, because I know how draining depression with those thoughts can be.

Will you be someone I can talk to when I'm feeling that way? I really have no one to talk to, if I told any one I.know personaly they'd probly try to report me, and start treating me like I'm insane because my family is so judgmental. I just feel like you can relate and would be a good person to talk to in those situations.

Yeah sure, you can message me whenever you like.

I really would like to respond, and would like to help, but don't want to be indiscreet. There are situations when boredom is quite natural. For instance, I am 90-year-old, live in a retirement home, and most people around me are bored-and I find them boring. I am handicapped, and fight depression, mostly successfully, but not always. I find that depression and boredom are twin sisters, moreover, siamese twins. You are so young! Perhaps you can get some treatment for your depression?

I already get help for my depression. But it's definitely not an easy process.

i hope you would fight your boredom soon.. you can do it

I totally know what your talking about. I use to have Agoraphobia and as bad as I was, I would start hyperventilating just stepping outside the door, trying to grab the mail. I have improved since then but I still don't like going out to crowded places..alone. One step at a time, I guess.

Yes, I do too think about things that NEED to be forgotten when I'm extremely bored. I still go to sleep half the day, just to pass time as well :D Why can't you plant something ? Your have something to do everyday. Maybe do some graphic designs based on what makes you feel happy ?? I don't know hahaha. Just trying to give you something to do ^_^

If you were hanging out with me, you will hardly be at home haha. That's what my life is like, hardly at home. I only go out because it's a stressful household, especially when you have a mother nagging at you all the time, over the most smallest things ever :/

You would love it here. Adventure is everywhere.

I would do some graphic design, but like I said, sometimes even my hobbies don't keep the boredom at bay.

Haha. I think I would love it anywhere, as long as I wasn't bored and lonely.

In a word epidemic. I can sooo relate its not even funny!

I know exactly what you mean, though it sounds like you have it even worse than me, especially with the agoraphobia on top of the rest. Most of the time I can distract myself by doing random, timewasting crap, it's only when I let myself think about my life that I start to feel like this.

That feeling that you want to do something interesting but can't force yourself to actually make it happen is the worst.

Glad you can understand to a point.
And you're right, it is one of the worst feelings.

And it's such a vicious cycle. You're depressed, so you don't bother making any changes in your life, so you go nowhere, so you're bored, so you're depressed.

That's exactly right.

Date someone. Or if your scared of all that, online date. All your boredom just flies away.. Concentrate on your studies or work etc.Trust me, I started. And I was feeling the same way. Now there's no such thing as boredom. I'm busy all day.

No thanks, I'm not ready for any kind of relationship.
And I'm not in school, and only go to work a couple of hours a week.

Oh I do feel for you and hope your life changes around for the better,Good Luck,I am sending you some positive energy through thought.

Thank you.

It feels like you're going batshit insane, right? And you almost want to tear out your hair, even if just for something to do. >O.o< It kind of feels like the walls are closing in and I just need to get out and just... run. Be free. Sometimes I can't even get to sleep because of it, which is one reason why I sleep to after midday a lot. In those times, when I'm feeling like that, absolutely nothing can distract me as much as I might try. Not even reading. I spend all my time trying to distract myself and not let myself think about certain things, and then these days come along where no matter what I do, I can't seem to distract myself. 8/ It's when I just feel like I really, reeeally need something to DO, someone to talk to and somewhere to go. I would take anything as a distraction from my mind in those times too. I feel that way sometimes, though I used to feel it a lot more when I was in Kingston & Berri.

It's a little rarer now than it was before, thank goodness... I used to feel that way almost every day, but things have changed a bit, you know, especially with moving away from the Riverland and all. And I do get outdoors a little bit more than I used to now. Before I was inside my bedroom ALL THE TIME, but now I get out and alleviate some of that tension. I'll never go anywhere alone, but I do take my younger brother to the nearby park on occasion, or we might all go out for tea and sit by the river, or I go shopping with Mum, things like that. Those things are okay, because at least I'm getting out of the house even for a little while. But obviously it isn't enough, just doing those things. I still haven't got friends to spend time with or a licence or a job. I still haven't finished school. What I really need is to meet new people, find friends and experience the thrill and excitement of NEW THINGS. I need to have life experiences, I've missed out on so many already. I feel so starved for interesting conversation and company too, I don't even talk online very much. It's very rare that I even get to have a conversation with someone that isn't my brother at all, so, by the way, it was really rather nice chatting to you yesterday. =) We should chat more often, I miss it.

I am willing to try new things now. Well, I mean, I fight against my anxiety as much as I can and try to be brave, I am trying to get somewhere... I'm more motivated now, that's why I'm going back to school -- which was a big decision, you can imagine. I just decided one day that there is more to me than this, more out there for me, and I want more for myself. So while I'm still stuck in the middle, not quite moving forward, I'm trying to, I'm taking baby steps. 8) It's so hard though, I know. But that's really all you can do, keep going, keep fighting, keep trying.

Yeah. I always thought that, if I were to move somewhere else, it would change things. Maybe not straight away, but it'd happen, and it'd make things just a little easier; being around different people and a different environment. It's too bad I feel like I'm NEVER going to move, especially not without my Mum. XD I hate saying that, but with my disorders, I'm so damn reliant on her.

Yes, I enjoyed our chat the other day. Reminded me of old times. :)

Baby steps are something, and that's pretty much the same with me. I just have a lot of days where I feel like, because those steps are so small, that I'm actually getting no where. Like, the progress isn't noticeable.

Yes, it does make things a little easier... I can walk down the street without the fear that I'll run into the people that bullied me at school, or god forbid my father, and obviously things like that certainly do make a difference. I know, I'm reliant on my mother too, and it's something I really hate, because I want to be independent. I'm just so glad that she wanted to move here to be with her sister, because if she didn't we'd still be stuck in the my old town, and I don't think I'd have ever made the decision to go back to school if I was still stuck there. I reckon it'd be good for you to move, too. Especially here, where I'm living! ;D I like that it is bigger and busier, and feels much more like a city, but is still a lot smaller than a big city and a lot less crowded and rushed than, say, Adelaide. I know you have been here and you like it here, and it really is a much nicer place to live. Better shops too, that's a little added bonus. xD Maybe we could eventually even start to hang out a bit or something if you did move here... It's really a pity your Mum doesn't want to.

8] Yeah...

I know what you mean. Things seem to progress for me in tiny little increments, and half the time it feels like for every step forward I'm taking two back, and I worry that I'll be stuck forever in this purgatory... But, then, looking back at where I was a couple years ago, I can DEFINITELY see I have moved forward quite a bit, and I have changed for the better.

My Mum does want to move there, but she said not until she retires. -.- I'm hoping to be moved out of home by then, though. Haha. I definitely want to move to Mildura; I don't think I'd ever change my mind. I love that place.

I know. I always look back at where I was four years ago, and I have made some big improvements. If I look at the big picture of it all.

:)...let me escort you,LaTy!haha..kidding^.^
How about drawing?? When I'm bore,that helps a lot! Draw your cats,dogs,furnitures! That's quite fun!^.^

I can't draw to save my life. :)

I can't draw at all! But everybody starts with level 0,right!? Take a shoot! First of all trying to draw circles!then triangles and rectangulars! All the pics are constructed over them!!^.^
Just try it once! I can tutor you!though I'm not really good at drawing=P

I'll give it a go. Haha. :)

Good girl!^___^

*pull buccinator muscles*..;)

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Try learning to play an instrument. Be creative. :)

I have no money to buy any instrument. Haha. But, that would be something good to learn. :)

The flute is always fun. It's easy :)

I am kinda broke too.. Save some. You can buy at least one.

You will get there when you can get to a better place with the Agoraphobia. I guess you just have to take that extra step and just do, don't think about it, just do it. I know, it's harder than it sounds, but it's true.

I've been where you are, maybe not as bad, but I know what intense boredom feels like. I used to sleep for most of the day, stay rooted to the house and dream of doing the things that I wanted. I was so depressed that not even my boyfriend could shake me out of the rut that I was in. My parents then basically said I either work, go back to school or I see a therapist and possibly get sent to a psychiatric facility to get help.

The possibility of being sent to a psychiatric facility scared the living **** out of me. So, I took some time to get myself together and applied for school once again. Since then I've never looked back. My life has changed some, but there still is room for some major improvement.

I still have no friends to hang out with, I don't drive, I live with my parents and I'm unemployed, but I'm at least working towards something that will change my life for the better. Sure, it won't happen right away because nothing good comes easy, but it's better than doing nothing and dreaming about it.

Overall, what I'm trying to say is in order to make your dreams come true, you got to take a good look and ask yourself, " Is this what I really want for myself?" If not, then you got to make it happen one step at a time, which you are already doing by the way. You're still stuck in the in between like me. It sucks, but you want more, right? Then you gotta take another step. Like taking a walk around the outside of the house and gradually make it longer until you can leave. I know it will be hard with your condition, but I believe it will be worth it in the end.

I hope what I've said has helped in someway.

Anyways,

Peace Out

A.S

Yeah, I need to take some further steps. But for me, I can never seem to get the motivation unless I've had a good week that has put me in a good mood. If I've been down or depressed through the week, I have no motivation, and steps towards beating my disorders are non-existent. And, recently, I haven't been having good weeks so improvements have been slow. But, I know that I just need to "do" and not over think things. I am still trying, and I won't give up, I just hate that the process is so slow.

We all have those bad weeks. I remember when I just started college this summer and in the second week of the quarter everything went wrong. I lost my cell phone, my computer went on the fritz and worst of all, we had to put our golden retriever down. Thank goodness she wasn't in any pain, it was just her age.

I wanted to quit before I had even started because everything was going against me. I had zero self confidence and was ready to go back to my old life, but sheer will power kept me from reverting.

I've learned that even though things may go wrong sometimes, you can't let it get you down. Your problems won't go away on their own and letting everything get in the way wastes time and can actually make things worse, depending on the situation.

When I got past things I realized how much I'd been missing and felt stupid for letting everything get in the way of what I wanted out of life. I sometimes wonder if what I'm doing now will make a difference because of how slow the process is, but I've stopped being such a procrastinator. You and are alike in so many ways, we get impatient, which isn't a bad thing, but it sometimes can be.

I hate seeing the people around me, especially on FB being happy. I know it sounds selfish, but it really depresses me and that's when I second guess myself and the choices that I've made. Anyways, I hope what I am saying is making sense. Anyways,

Take care &amp; peace out

A.S