Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

Always Insanely Bored.

I've never met anyone, as of yet, who can understand or relate to the intense boredom that I feel. When I am bored, I literally feel myself losing my mind; an antsy-crazy-going off the deep end feeling.

I sleep half the day just so I don't have to worry about the feeling of having nothing to do. But, then there's still the other half of my day that I have to go through. Sometimes the boredom isn't so intense, and I can be content with a book to read, or a random conversation with someone online. However, there are times where nothing can stop me from feeling so insanely bored; reading, talking, watching TV, listening to music, searching the net for random things - none of this works.

I walk around my house like a zombie, or I just find myself sitting on the floor staring at the wall. It's crazy. I get agitated, jittery, sometimes I can't keep still and I just find myself walking up and down the passage, just for something to do. Or I sit down and just slap my palms against my thighs. And, of course, when I'm in this "state", thoughts that I would rather not be thinking about surface, and I can't do nothing to distract myself from them, so I end up thinking about crap that I've pushed to the back of my mind, and then I get depressed.

So, I'm bored and depressed, which is a terrible combination.

It seems my hobbies don't even keep my entertained anymore. Nothing does. I have no motivation to do anything, either, although there are lots of things I wish I could be doing right now. My Agoraphobia gets in the way, and the fact that I have no friends; I have no one to hang out with, and my Agoraphobia prevents me from going places on my own.

There's lots of things I want to experience, I want an adrenaline rush, I want to have fun, I want to see things and just be happy with life. But instead, I'm always bored, doing the same thing every day from the moment I wake up and until I go to sleep. For once I wish I could be excited about something, excited to go do anything fun, to get out of the house and do something completely different.

There's great scenery where I live, lots of nature life, a beautiful river; even just getting out of the house to soak up all the nice views would be wonderful. But again, Agoraphobia gets in the way of that, and Mum isn't someone who's really into going places unless she really needs to. So I'm stuck in this house, surrounded by the blue walls of my bedroom, day in and day out, wishing for something more.

I crave adventure so much, it's a constant need and an endless thought. There's a world out there I'm yet to see; the sounds of wildlife, the scents of nature, the sun shining down on me, it's warm rays soaking into my skin. The presence of people, the smell and taste of different foods, the feel of the Earth against the soles of my feet.

I'm always envisioning adventures I wish to go on, I can always picture it so clearly, and then I open my eyes and I'm back in my dull life.

Anyway, bottom line of this, is that I am tired of feeling so bored to the point where I feel I am going to go insane, literally. I hate the feeling, I hate what those days make me think, and I hate that as much as I try to visualise myself being happy and having adventures, I fear that I'd never get to be that person.

tianajade tianajade 18-21, F 38 Responses Nov 10, 2012

Your Response

Cancel

It's odd to see this! I literally went on here because right now I'm experiencing tense boredom that I scream or panic at times! Though unlike you, I'm always busy...I don't have that half day to sleep. I vary out my schedule and do a ton of different things, but I'm balanced, I'm not TOO busy! But I feel just as bored as you feel. I literally can't take it. I wonder what is happening :/

I'm always bored too uuuuuuugh... Uuuuuuuugh dying

I think having few nice close friends helps a lot with boredom and depression. I used to have nice friends and we used to laugh a lot and hardly face any boring time. But now since I travelled away for study and work, I started to make friends we enjoy sometimes then we have to go in different ways again, some go back to their countries and some just change the city and go another one which offered better chance for them. Now I started to feel tired, I hardly have friends. I do avoid people, I miss my childhood's friends but they are not here and I have built my life far away from them, so lately i started to feel so bored and i hardly laugh or enjoy anything... few weeks ago I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder. Now I am in medication and I really hope that I can get rid of this heavy and boredom feelings. I want to enjoy doing my hobbies again But my problem here is still that I don't have a real friend that I enjoy going out with. So I doubt this medication alone will work lol.. But I will keep on working on myself... always keep pushing.

I hope you already reached what you wanted and busy now with more outdoor activities.

This is exactly me. Wish we were friends in real life, I don't have any friends that understand me. or friends at all. All my friends seem to be slipping away, talking to other people and ignoring me. Especially since I moved away...

Man i know how you feel. That wanting more part really hit me because I basically spend most of my days at home unless I have school.. (I'm 17 btw) I hate being at home.. Plus I live in a small boring town. I just want experience SOMETHING, something that will get my heart racing because lately I'm finding myself becoming just an emotionless blob. If my life were a colour it would be grey and I just want some excitment something different.

I really do understand what you're going through. I think the only thing you can do is try to find people you can relate to and be comfortable around. So far that hasn't happened for me.

U be that person some day just hang in there

thank you for your writing this. i am 15 and every word describes exactly how i feel idk what to do?????????

Hi Tiana

I spent 30+ years with undiagnosed, extreme ADD until recently. I went from extreme exhaustion for most of my life to finally near normalcy. It was brutal. I sympathize with you greatly.

I am here if you care to talk.

Your friend,

Tommy

Sometimes, I feel so bored and tired and just lose the will to do anything I'll just sleep all day and all night and then lose the interest and will to read or play a video game or do anything that I love, I just lie there doing nothing, and get quite depressed, it really sucks doesn't it?

Dear TianaJade,

I'm scared of time.

One day you're going to step out and wish you had done it sooner.

I heard gymnasts think about landing moves perfectly to help them do it. Maybe that's what you're doing ☺️

Good night.

Young lady I feel your anxiety and I sincerely hope you can overcome your agroraphobia and can enjoy your life to the fullest. I don't want to pry but can you seek help for your problem?

I'm a little older than you and I have experienced these feelings as a teen and now again in my 30's fortunately before my debilitating agoraphobia set in 2 years ago I did a ton of traveling and had more experiences than anyone could ever pretend to be interested listening to me talk about. Well 2 years ago I fell in love and quit my job, now I feel so bored I really feel like I could die but every time I try to get myself to leave the house I just can't. Everyone keeps telling me to have a baby but although I really want one I'm not sure that's the solution to any problem... I find that playing calmer classical music makes me feel less scattered when I'm bored out of my mind. I really hope you're agoraphobia subsides so you can enjoy your teens, My therapist suggests exposure therapy, just getting yourself outside for no real reason other than that it's safer to be bored to the point of tears in public where there is some good people watching rather than at home I suppose. Give it a shot it feels like torture but when you get home you'll be happy to be back at least. Finally think about a job you can do that will kill some time and make you some money, that has helped me feel normal in the past, exercise is actually a great way to kill boredom also but I know it's hard to get started. Good luck!

Thanks for the comment.

I've done a lot of exposure therapy. It can help, but you have to be in the right mindset. I'm 21, so no longer in my teens. I regret letting my disorder control my life so much that I missed out on a lot of experiences as a teenager. I hope I can make up for it in my twenties. I did volunteer work over the years, that helped some, but eventually gets repetitive and sets me back. But I do start my first job next week, so I hope that's a step in the right direction for me.

You need to fall in love Tiana!
Cheers

**** no.

I suggest you create a routine for yourself every day. Make a to do list for yourself from the moment you wake up to when you go to sleep. Include everything you can think to do, even the most boring and mundane activities, from self-care to chores to entertainment. Try to fill every minute on your list. Each day, cross them off as you go, try your best to adhere to it. Little by little, add daily challenges to your list. Start with something small like standing next to an open window for 5 minutes or walking to the mailbox each day. As you cross each challenge off your list, you will see your daily progress begin to take shape and you will begin to feel a sense of purpose in life again. In the end, we are all the products of our daily habits. Good luck I hope this advice can help as it has helped others!

You are far too young and beautiful to be board. Get out do things, see things. Make food, make love, make conversation with someone new. Walk barefoot on wet grass, you are the author of your life so start writing.xx

Watched Secret Life of Walter Mitty recently and this reminded me of it. Really though I can understand what it's like. I'm on here right now looking for ways to change life a little. It's maddening to feel like a goldfish in a glass bowl, never knowing what's really out there. It's kind of like Groundhog Day, where after the same thing over and over the character is willing to even kill himself to make things change... but that doesn't really solve anything. The fear itself though is tricky, it can begin to encompass everything except the small circle of comfort we have in our rooms to ourselves. Comfort doesn't really describe it though, it's more like we depend on it NEED it just to escape the eyes of fear looking at us. I've been uncovering these fears one by one for a while, most of them are insecurities about how other people will think - projections of their judgements on ourselves that become real for us. After so long of not seeing the world out there we become content that our small room is all we will ever see. At least I've gotten that far, but when I see someone like you reaching out I just want to take you and show you there's so much more! Even though I couldn't do that for myself x) well I hope things are looking up, and make sure to share any insights you find about it with me, because I am dealing with insane boredom these days.

Yeah, you've described it spot on. Things are still the same, for me, though. I did have a work trial last month, that lasted a full month, so I wasn't bored in the slightest. Now that's over, and I'm back to the same ol' same ol'. Sleeping the days away because my dreams are all that's interesting in my life at the moment. Ha.

Been there, except for the Agoraphobia. It seems like nothing keeps my interest very long, and when I am doing something to while away the time, it is tedious, as my mind knows it's not about the destination, nor the journey, rather just a means to do something other than nothing. Movies, books, games, mere distractions, then more of the same, I can relate. I am not depressed, I feel I am well adjusted, I just don't take a passionate interest in much...
I know what Agoraphobia is, but I don't really know much about it, nor the severity of your case. If I may offer a suggestion though, Have a trusted friend or your Mum bring you on the next shopping trip and rather than staying with your party, try taking a book with you, sit in the food court or a coffee shop, sit with your back to the wall so you have that security, then engage in people watching, you may find that it will ease your symptoms If not, call your party, have them meet you so you can have the security of their company. I do not like crowds either, but it is due to my impatience with the very common lack of common sense and common courtesy so often encountered in crowded environments. I think my boredom is more of the realization that I am a finite comodity that, in all reality has little to no consequence in our infinite environment. My best therapy has been to reduce my environment to what is important to me, such as family and work; the areas where I have the greatest influence on my environment. At least there, my contributions are more apparent, so I realize the value in engaging in activities and interacting with people. Mind you, my environment is fluid and changes at any moment, however, interatcing at home and work are the most rewarding.
I hope you are able to shake your boredom and I hope you learn to cope and overcome your Agoraphobia . Good luck and Merry Christmas.

Wow I feel the exact same way every day of my life.

well i do get bored easily and what makes it worse i dont sleep much, so im always trying to figure out things to do. usually at night is the worst cause there is nothing on tv (even though i dont watch tv lol) and also that everyone is pretty much asleep at that time. but in saying that, i dont have agoraphobia, so that must be very hard to live with. especially if you get bored very easily and constantly need to be doing things. dont you have any friends near you that can go out with you and take you places.. or a boyfriend?

Nope, I don't have any friends.

thats a real shame, are you an only child?

...try doing some new stuff. If you like it, then you have a new hobby. If not, try something else.

i understand what you mean..I had those days in my life too..now I do anything to avoid it but do enjoy being by myself once in a while. All I did was make little changes step by step..and it does make difference. :) wish you luck and peace in mind.

Thank you. (:

If I don't mark the places I've been with a little pee, I'll never remember how to get back home.

For me, my agoraphobia (which is relatively mild) is about being around other people, particularly in crowded places. If yours is anything like mine, might I suggest going somewhere "out" where you will be alone? (or, if not alone, with another person with whom you are comfortable). If being out like that, exposed, is a problem, can you tolerate going for a ride in an unpopulated place?

Mine is pretty much leaving the house to go anywhere on my own. Being in crowded places and around people makes it worse, but even if I have to leave my house to walk down the street by myself, I can't do it. I always need to be with someone. And that's a problem, because I have no one to hang out with.

When I get my full license, I am hoping that doing some driving would help.

Are you ok in a car if someone else is driving -- someone with whom you are comfortable?

Yes. But I don't have anyone. Mum doesn't like wasting petrol. I'll just wait until I have my full license. It's only 2 months away.

You always have to be with someone.... does it help if you're talking to someone on the phone? Can you walk then?

I wouldn't have anyone to talk on the phone to.

Climb a tree, swat a bee, even if it makes you crampy. You're good down deep, you're what I should keep. I'll make you a queen. Your skin has a sheen. I'll stop now before its too late. I'm not one to hate. Please be my mate.

3 More Responses

I feel the same way, everyday I'm bored even though I try my best to think positive and find something mentally stimulating. But for some reason i always end up back to the same zonky feeling i get all the time and i cant seem to find a solution no matter what. I barely have friends and if i am hanging with a group of people i get extremely uncomfortable and dont say a word and if someone pressures me to talk i get embaressed, which is why i spend my time mostly alone, But i wish more than anything that i could just for once enjoy life.

Spending time alone is always the safest and easiest option, and for a while it could be just enough, but it's not always. I sure don't want to be alone and bored for the rest of my life.

yes, I agree

you just described me to a tee. I too hate hanging out with a group of people and having to interact. I still want to be better and not be alone all the time. I believe college is helping me with my social skills though, but I there is still ample amount of room for improvement.

I understand your boredom. One of my daughters is receiving help for depression. Which I suffer from due to life circumstances also. Her psychologist informed us that her boredom is part and parcel with depression. You sleep to avoid feeling thinking doing. So the solution is to keep active. Your boredom is based on what you are allowing yourself to do. Start simple.....find something that perks your that may be outside your box of what you would normally do. Put out of your mind internet TV and other devices that actually stunt your personal growth. .....Take a chance never know what you discover when you do.

Thank you for the advice!

I really feel ya... Some days very baddd thoughts come into my head, like suicidal thoughts :( and its purely from boredom and lonelyness. I'll find myself pacing around the house, sitting in silence just thinking bout bad memories, thinking about how boring my life is, thinking about how useless and unloved I feel, thinking about all the other productive things I COULD be doing, but just cannot find the motivation.anywhere. and as you said, I sleep most of the day away just so.I don't have to deal with an entire days of boredom. :( life is so depressing.

I hope things look up for you soon, because I know how draining depression with those thoughts can be.

Will you be someone I can talk to when I'm feeling that way? I really have no one to talk to, if I told any one I.know personaly they'd probly try to report me, and start treating me like I'm insane because my family is so judgmental. I just feel like you can relate and would be a good person to talk to in those situations.

Yeah sure, you can message me whenever you like.

I really would like to respond, and would like to help, but don't want to be indiscreet. There are situations when boredom is quite natural. For instance, I am 90-year-old, live in a retirement home, and most people around me are bored-and I find them boring. I am handicapped, and fight depression, mostly successfully, but not always. I find that depression and boredom are twin sisters, moreover, siamese twins. You are so young! Perhaps you can get some treatment for your depression?

I already get help for my depression. But it's definitely not an easy process.

Dang hegeso. Your old and you know how to use the internet. My mom is 60 and has a galaxy note 3 but only knows how to use the basic text and call function. I admire you for living that long. As for being depressed, I find that ironic because you've lived for so long, thought you'd be wiser > bored.

i hope you would fight your boredom soon.. you can do it

I totally know what your talking about. I use to have Agoraphobia and as bad as I was, I would start hyperventilating just stepping outside the door, trying to grab the mail. I have improved since then but I still don't like going out to crowded places..alone. One step at a time, I guess.

Yes, I do too think about things that NEED to be forgotten when I'm extremely bored. I still go to sleep half the day, just to pass time as well :D Why can't you plant something ? Your have something to do everyday. Maybe do some graphic designs based on what makes you feel happy ?? I don't know hahaha. Just trying to give you something to do ^_^

If you were hanging out with me, you will hardly be at home haha. That's what my life is like, hardly at home. I only go out because it's a stressful household, especially when you have a mother nagging at you all the time, over the most smallest things ever :/

You would love it here. Adventure is everywhere.

I would do some graphic design, but like I said, sometimes even my hobbies don't keep the boredom at bay.

Haha. I think I would love it anywhere, as long as I wasn't bored and lonely.