My heart is hurt, and I'm mad as hell. Keeping all this inside is making me sick. Of all the stupid and sorry things to do, he just had to go there. It doesn't matter how long ago it happened, it happened, period. It doesn't matter that I suspected it, I know now for sure. After all I've forgiven and tried to get past because I love you, even with your faults, and you insult me by touching that sorry *** skeeze of an ex. Now, for the first time in our relationship I'm seriously considering finding a friend that I can have fun with. For the first time, I've caught myself thinking of other men and where once only you filled my dreams others faces are now in my fantasies. If only I could get past this awful guilt thats eating me up. Do I follow my head and logic and remain as I am in misery, because I refuse to get a divorce. Not again! Or do I listen to my heart, my emotions so battered and bruised, and find another man that can give me what I need, but go without from you. I'm so torn!
zanyzoey zanyzoey
41-45, F
1 Response Aug 23, 2014

Life's is so hard at times

Yup! You'd think by now life would be a bit simpler, instead it seems to have gotten even harder. I assume it's because we know what pain of loosing and failure feels like. When we were young we didn't have a clue.