Flushing Away My Free Time

Some days, I wish this group really applied to me, though my heart (and laxatives) goes out to those who are.  I tend to have the opposite problem, as anyone who has read my "sharted" experiences can attest to. 

In any case, my bathroom is my sanctuary.  I frequently get a lot of work done in there.  Thank goodness for the wireless modem in my laptop or I'd have to run a line in there.  And let's face it, the only runs that really should be allowed in there are the kind that get flushed into the septic tank.

AaaaaaRGH AaaaaaRGH
36-40, M
2 Responses Aug 3, 2010

I hate to poop on your parade, but there's no way I'm hoisting myself up onto my counter and squatting over the sink just to avoid the possibility of fecal stagnation.

I'm posting this in all the stories for this topic: your problem is likely due to the modern toilet and the fact that it won't let you squat rather than sit. Squatting is the only way your body can go to the bathroom without straining like crazy; there's a muscle in you that tightens around the bowels in any other position, forcing you to basically rip it and your intestines apart in order to bypass it.<br />
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Squatting position rotates the pelvis relative to the torso, relaxing the hold of this muscle. Also, the position puts pressure on the intestinal tract naturally, as your legs squeeze your abdomen. The difference is like trying to get toothpaste out of a tube by throwing it end-first into a counter top vs. rolling up the tube gently.<br />
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Not using the squatting position is dangerous to your health. There's a nerve that runs from the ba<x>se of your spine to your bladder, colon and genitals that can get severely frayed and damaged by all the unnecessary straining of sitting positions, leading to sexual dysfunction, enlarged prostate, incontinence and cancer (the nerve regulates healthy organ activity as much as it causes specific reactions, like arousal or the ability to hold in urine). <br />
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You can also cause colon cancer due to fecal stagnation, since the colon, like a pitcher, can only be emptied when dumped out at the right angle (as in squatting). This means that you'll often feel strangely ill even after going to the bathroom successfully; a lot of the waste is still stuck inside you. Finally, you can damage your intestines directly due to the pressure you're exerting (diverticulitis and -losis), like squeezing a balloon so tightly that the rest of it stretches and explodes.<br />
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There are solutions; you must build up the fascia in your feet and ankles to squat properly, which is easily accomplished by squatting regularly in the bathroom (we are born with these fascia in our feet but lose them due to neglect when we're potty-trained). Squatting toilets are available, as well as various platforms to correct the problem with an existing toilet. Take heed and do some research-this is a very dangerous undiagnosed problem and root cause of terrible afflictions in the West, problems which are very rare in countries where squatting is still the norm.

I didn't know that.