What Do I Do?

I have been separated from my husband for almost two years. I am the Senior Pastor's daughter. My problem is that I'm going through a divorce and the congregation hasn't been informed yet. So, the challenge is that every few Sundays people ask me where my husband is as they haven't seen him also for over a year. I'm getting irritated and hurt by the questions. We have lived separately for more than two years. I'm seriously contemplating leaving the church. I just don't know how I'll deal with people after they are notified. I feel like starting a new life with new faces of people who don't know who I am or what I've been through. A friend who was also in the church also left after the breakup of a long term relationship. Her ex-boyfriend was also in the church and went on to marry another woman. Her reason for leaving was how was she going to face people in the church. I feel the same way too.
Chobolo Chobolo
3 Responses Jan 6, 2013

They may be OK about the news of your divorce so waiting is a wise choice to see how it goes, however if you're unhappy with anyone's responses and don't feel you would ever be comfortable staying, then I feel it is fine to leave if you want to and go elsewhere. God loves you whichever Church you go to...and it may be easier to start afresh somewhere else.

However, consider it may be upsetting and a shock to some in the Church who love you and they may need time and patience to adjust to your situation. Their initial reaction could be negative because of the initial news and then afterwards they could be very supportive, so give yourself time and them to adjust. And if the support is not there and you're not comfortable then consider leaving and ask the Lord to send you somewhere else. Don't be hasty and ask God to give you wisdom to help you make a wise decision. Don't just leave as people may think you've gone because its their fault - talk it over with a mature believer who loves you and understands your situation, and if necessary can help you leave in the right way.
Hope this helps and I'll be praying for you.

Thanks for the responses. I think that I should see how people treat me after the divorce is finalised. After all, divorce is quite common in our country. So we all know someone who's been divorced either through family or friends. Who knows? People might be more sympathetic than I imagined.

Oh Sweetie, my heart goes out to you. It is just a fact of life, some churches are toxic. If your church is not welcoming, you need to find a new church. If you stay where you are, your faith will suffer.