Empty Compliments

So recently I opened up to my sister. I am trying to be more open with my family, however, she is the only one who I feel like I can be really open with. Anyway I have been describing my situation to her over the past few weeks. She gave me the same empty generic compliments that everyone else did. You know stuff like "You are a wonderful person" and "You have so much to offer". All that garbage, that I am told by everyone who cannot name one good thing about me. My sister is not stupid she knows damn well that I have no social skills. She knows damn well the only thing I have to offer people is tech support. I guess I should stick around so all the females of the world can flirt with me and get free tech support out of me.

Seriously, why do people have to give out the most generic empty compliments on the planet, just to keep me from killing myself? Is agreeing that someone should die such a bad thing? Is someone agreeing with me saying that "Yes you have nothing to offer other" such a bad thing? Why do people have to give me these very generic empty compliments? I do not understand why they think those compliments will make me feel any better? They are the same bullshit, that I always get. Why, because I am such a nice guy. Because I deserve better than the **** sandwich the world fed me. However, deep down inside they know all to well that I get what I deserve. I brought this on myself, by being a generally good and nice person.

You know I think I might be less suicidal if someone would just ******* agree with me. Seriously, a lot of my suicidal tendencies come from people telling me that I am wonderful and a great person and will make someone very happy. **** them, **** all of them and their empty guilt motivated lies. They only tell me this crap because they know they would never choose me as a friend or lover. That makes them feel bad. If the world was not so mother ******* dishonest I would probably be less suicidal.
ForgottenMale ForgottenMale
26-30, M
7 Responses Aug 4, 2010

take what you've written above and turn it into a heavy metal song, it would be a hit!

People give empty compliments because they don`t understand. They don`t know the feelings of pain and despair. That`s why they call suicide and thoughts of doing such a thing "sick".

Wow, I had forgotten about this post.<br />
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Mr. Strawberry, what you have said is true. Given that this post is close to 8 months old, that was a pretty rough time in my life. In many ways I have changed, one being I am more selfish now. Not by much but by enough that it is noticeable. <br />
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As for your manipulation clause. Yes I won't like, the females who have manipulated me are females I am attracted too. They sensed this and took advantage of the situation. Males do the same to females. Sadly I have never been attractive enough to be the manipulator. <br />
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As for my family, I have given my sisters plenty. I was there when they got drunk at a party and needed someone to drive them home. I was there to fix their computers at their request. I was there to be their schofer to soccer practice. I was there to help them with chores. Most of all I am now trying to build an authentic relationship. I will admit parts of my family are a hassle to deal with. My sisters are only a hassle to deal with when they are around my mom. Those that are a hassle to deal with I do not deal with.<br />
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I would say my life is about as bad as all of those people's lives you mentioned. After all their life is theirs to choose right? They choose to continue living in these horrible conditions. So we all have it this bad. After all we are not victims of circumstance we are victims of bad choices. I will say if we compare me on a monetary level yeah I am better off than those people. I do have more money than most of them.<br />
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What can I do? Just do it? That is all you can really say? If you are going to make a claim at least back it up. Give me one concrete thing I can try to change my life? After all there are several dozen right, pick one. Try and be something that I can physically do, none of this "Man up" or "Stop Feeling Sorry for yourself".

either live for yourself, or seriously, just fricking do it. i don't know you, i know nothing except what you've said about your situation - and i'm saying, either start being more selfish, or continue to feel the weight of the world on your shoulders and JUST DO IT.<br />
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having the "nice guy symdrome" - honestly believing that you are somehow more virtuous or noble than everybody else, and that's why everyone kicks you when you're down - is one of the worst burdens a person can live with. so, again, my advice is to not live with it, one way or the other. <br />
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and the thing is, i don't particularly care, to be completely and bluntly honest. your life is yours to choose, and i have always believed that to end it is also your own business. i would never advocate it as, like, the third choice on your menu, but there are definitely circumstances that no one has the right to look down on, much as some people would anyway.<br />
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let's be clear, together, here as strangers: when you say females manipulate you, what you really mean is that you would like to stick your penis in them. when you say people pay you false compliments when you really want *more* than that, that's neediness and pride. when you say that your family is patronizing (or whatever), what have you really shown them in exchange or given back to them? you sound like a super whiny black hole vampire, my friend, and they are a damn hassle to be around, let alone have in your life.<br />
so, given all that, when you *really* think about it, are you such a "nice guy"? reeeeaally...? or do you have just as many problems and flaws as EVERY SINGLE OTHER PERSON ON THIS PLANET?<br />
still feeling superior? still feeling like life fed you a s*** sandwich? probably not as much as the children living in brazilian favelas. probably not as much as those indonesian guys who chop apart ships for scraps and live for two years doing it. probably not as much as any given woman in almost any hard-core Islamic country. Hell, probably not even as much as any given poor person in the US of A, "the land of opportunity", who lets,like 80% of its own people starve and work themselves to death for the pocket lining of a bunch of fatcats.<br />
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grrr... anyways, you're an IT guy, a "nice guy", in some comfortable cubicle somewhere. and you're very sad. and there's likely several dozen things you could do to change that. and one of them is to not talk about it, but DO IT. the power is entirely in your hands to make a change.

Well I have not heard from my sister since so I guess she does not care.

I have to agree with stormynightsky on people being shallow and not being dependable 92.999% of the time. I am also suicidal and have told around eight people about me being suicidal & one person told me i was a wonderful person but never bothered to be my friend. I would say only about one out of the eight really understands me, bc he's also been suicidal before. I just hope that you (& me included) could reach a point where we don't give a crap about what people think of this & not determine our self worth by other peoples opinions. I hope you can find an honest & trustworthy person to confide in!!!

Guilt motivated lies, interesting that you are able to decipher through and realize what's motivating people to say things. But really, family is not-so-good at saying the right things, mine has said really awful things at certain times too, as have I, I am sure. And friends, can let you down too....I hate the be a cliche, I really do, so forgive me if I am, BUT I really mean it when I say that you should not get your sense of value from what others think or feel. People are really quite shallow usually, and certainly not dependable about 92.999% of the time. (Once in a great while, maybe once, or maybe a dozen or so times in your life, you find someone who is sincere and true, but it is rare.) People tend to love based on what they "know" about you and what you can offer them. Thus forming their opinions of you, on that. Another person can never know you for who you are in your entirety....you'll always be more then they know. I can tell that you feel worthless, please know that feelings change though, they really do!! And they are not always accurate. Your feelings should follow your mind....I hope you can see that there is so more to life then people's opinions. :(