Is This "normal"

My story goes as follows; I am trying to understand how a 46 year old man could never and I mean NEVER want any type of attention.. No holding hands, no caressing, no cuddling, no kissing, no touching.. or anything.. and when I try to show my love in those type ways.. I am pushed away.. even from holding hands in the car.. and top it all off he will not do any of those things to me.. and SEX is totally out of the question.. I don't believe he is cheating on me, I just don't have that feeling in my heart.. but who knows right? I know that he works alot, but damn all he does when he comes home is eat and play with our daughter a little and then relax and go to sleep on the couch watching TV. Sometimes he is gone from home for work for several days, and when he returns I don't even get a hug or if I try it is just a half hug you would give your aunt or sister.. Rarely does he come home and act like he is happy to see us.. and when he leaves he barely gives me a hen peck a casual hug and leaves. any Honest thoughts?
Believer777 Believer777
31-35, F
4 Responses Dec 14, 2011

Has he always been unaffectionate? When did things change? You may benefit from talking to a counselor/therapist yourself. You can not change others behavior, you can only control yourself. I was dead set against couples therapy, but my ex started going. Eventually we both wound up there, it helped. Please keep us informed.

You may find "I'm living in a sexless marriage." group helpful and supportive. They have good advice over there.<br />
Personally he is sending you a message....loud and clear......he has no interest in you. He does not behave as though he loves you. He is not willing to work on improving the situation, so i'm afraid it's all up to you. I wasted 20-years of my life.....waiting......don't waste yours. Good luck!

I dont think he is having an affair.... Just think he is overworked and naturally unaffectionate....<br />
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Talk to him....

Been there, done that.. Nothing changes.. I have talked to him, written him letters.. sent long texts, cried to him.. NOTHING.. someone said to me .. maybe he is a sociopath or GAY???

he is not a sociopath..... or gay.... he is just fuctarded....
If you have no sex drive you dont wanna behave in any sorty of manner to encourage it... He thinks by hugging you and anything more you are gonna expect sex and he doesnt want to.... Matybe you need to get him to go to the doctors...Theaten to leave if he doesnt? I guess we all need affection....

my best guess is that he's having an affair, a psychological problem, or both. regardless, i wud think u need to confront him and get answers and a solution. best wishes.

I have confronted him only to hear that he wasn't raised that way, which is not true.. I have tried everything I know to do aside from counseling which he wouldn't go to anyhow. He is shy around people he doesn't know.. My patience is wearing thin.. He claims too that he has no desire for sex due to low testosterone.. but does that affect the desire to have physical relations.. ie touching massaging and just loving on each other.. emotional bonding??? I don't know a solution other than to just get the heck out of here...prob is I do love him.. ugh!