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I Might Get It Somewhere Else

Me and my husband went out this afternoon to get some things that we needed for the house then we sat on a bench and asked him these...

Me: do you believe in that we are soulmates?

Husband: yes because we came from diffrent places and met in a strange diffrent place and it amazes me until now.

Me: are you happy with me?

Husband: yes. you complete me

Me: are you truly loyal to me all these years and faithfull?

Husband: he looked me in the eye and said "yes"..Iam happy to be like this and not like I was before, Im okay now.

Me: then why Im not getting the kind of sexual intimacy that I want? I told you so many time already that I want a lot of it, tons of it! We are so good to each other but on this very thing we failed..

Husband: If Other men went to other women when their wives are not making them happy in bed..does it mean that women too can do that..

Me: Yes indeed and If you will not take action to this then I might get it somehwere else. (sad face)

Husband: you're not going to do that..

Me: Yes I can because Im so bored already and I dont want the time will come that you will blame me for having sex with someone and not talking about this thing to you. I just want it clear.

Husband: ---silent---

TemptressKassandra TemptressKassandra 31-35 45 Responses May 27, 2012

Your Response


I have what you seek. Will you go home when I'm through with you?

This could have some interesting legal implications if a divorce is in your future... there's a legal term for it but I can't remember the word (I am NOT a lawyer). The concept is that if he knows about it and doesn't do anything to stop it.. if he just "lives with it", then he can't later change his mind and pull it out as grounds for divorce.

TALK TO A LAWYER ABOUT THIS FIRST. I've heard about this as a legal defense in divorce cases where one spouse knew the other was cheating but didn't do anything about it for years.

That sucks. I can't imagine a guy not wanting to give it to you any chance he gets.

I can feel you, my wife is the same way

I think u ve to explore your hubby and make him feel warm somehow. May be by going out to nature or by watching blues in bed. He ll satisfy u , m sure.

Wow...ive got so much to talk to you about this but dont know what or where to start. May i be your friend? Id like to talk in private. Thanks!

yes sure...thank you for taking ur time to read and for posting ur comment here..

Have you read The 5 Love Languages? It might explain why you do not feel you are receiving what you need from your husband.

I have talks with my wife like that and I get more sex for awhile,but it is just sex.I still find it hard to go out and have an affair.Most of it is finding the right person.She used to complain about me wanting sex all the time. My reply was, as long as i want you you have nothing to worry about,when i stop wanting you you can then worry.It's hard doing the right thing and even harder with no help.

i agree with you

Can you talk with your hubby about how you are ready to go and find comfort outside your marriage? It is so hard to be lonely and not have the comfort you need and seek. If you have to go out and find your comfort, I can't judge you, only say be safe in all you do.

I am a mature man and I have to you are a wonderful woman to bring this up to your hubby in a conversation without yelling and screaming. Talking things out is the only way to have a relationship, which is why mine is ending, cause my wife would not open up and talk things out. I only wish I could meet a truly wonderful woman like you. I agree, go out and get it if you are not being pleased at home, because you were open and honest.

thank you so much for all your comments.. :) I wish u all the goodness in life too.. everything is possible.

You have been singing, I wish it would rain for too long, it's time for some sunshine to bring warmth and healing for you. It's up to you when you make your next step, but be safe in all you do and know you are not alone. All you have to do is reach out as someone is there for you as you have a lot of support.

thank you so much for ur wonderful mean so much to me.. Godbless you

Good for you...and it is the right approach. At least I believe it is. It is the very approach I took with my wife some time ago...and in time, I finally went somewhere else to get the sexual contact that I craved. It also opened my eyes up to so much more sexually that I did not know...or at least had never experienced, creating additional cravings, hunger, desires. We are now doing so much better sexually and she has come a long way...and I am hoping that we can share so much more together. I truly hope it works out for you...but if you have to be "complete" or satisfied in other places by other men, at least you told your husband....and...I hope I can be there :-)

Let me ask you this if your husband was in a accident and could no longer have sex with you what would you do. Would you stay or would you leave I am sure there are someone some were that wish she could have sex just once a mouth with her husband. Just a thought.

Ask him if how he wishes to participate -- his level of involvement. Does he want to be present and involved, or would he prefer to be apart?

I would like to be friends, hope you will agree?

Sounds familiar. When you find out why your husband remains silent when you suggest that you may have an affair please advise me..I am lost

When you know that you have tried all the best you could do...The fact is, We all get tired of something that is so impossible to reach, and when you feel you're drowned and all these frustrations consume you then the next step is on our hands... Life is so short not to be happy... we all deserve to be happy that's all I can say.

I have one thing to suggest. Lay out what you want from your husband, even if you have done that a hundred times before. Tell him exactly what it is you crave and don't hold back. If it a new experience then lay it out. If he still doesn't listen then you should consider moving on. Having an affair will destroy your marriage even if you work things out. The marriage you will have will not be the same you once had, trust will be gone. Every time the phone rings, their late, they seem nervous, your going to wonder why.

That is true....

Hey Irish Guy: so you lay out for the 101st time. Nothing really changes. You realize that he probably can't do much about it and you don't think of him as a sexual creature anymore. You think of him as a grandfather..then what?

If your thinking of him as a grandfather then I take it after looking at your profile you are married to an older man. I also take it that your still craving sex. I also take it that your wanting someone to fill that need. I don't know the age difference between the two of you either. Just keep in mind that he is not in his sexual prime that is past him. I am going to go out on a limb and say that your husband doesn't feel like he is desired. You may tell him that he is you may not, I simply don't know. What I do know is every man wants to know his wife/girlfriend is interested in him. If your not interested in him then you should tell him. It will suck but the truth should be laid out. The truth goes both ways for the food and the bad. One way or the other communication should follow b

if you think like this than again don"t say word soulmate from your mouth .... if you break this once than everytime you will break this again and again ....there are many different technic to enjoying sex ....use different technic and different envoirmet instead of different persons ..think very deep and again

Interesting I am so ready to go else's where but I love my husband.

This is the same with me. I come home craving her every day and end up frustrated 9 out of 10 days. I say what I need but it falls on deaf ears. How many 45 year old wives have their husbands come home craving them every day? I'm not a cheater at heart but I'm ready to.

So, this is a demand rather than a discussion?

I like how boldly you spoke... set the stage and got right to the point... here we are five months later... hopefully with some positive effect.


If you where my wife you would never have even been in that situation as you would have been totaly satisfied sexually on daily basis! I believe a women should be brought to ****** at least once a day in some way! Its is sad that you lost your marriage, but also good that you can now find some happiness and pleasure that you have missed out on! big hugs

hehe ;)

I wish I was your husband. I would let you be with another man for one night :P

he said that on the 1st 2 years of our lives together..

Well I mean it babe. Can I give you a hug?

okay... :) thank you



Can I kiss you too?:P

3 More Responses

Way to go. You made a really mature move in talking about your feelings with your husband. I admire that.

thank you :)

If i were ur husband...i would let u have a one night stand...

OH gossh i need men like you!! I would do everything for you coz of what u just said.

Hi, <br />
<br />
I think here if you wanted to work out on your sexual relationship, you should not have said "if you don't take an action on this...". Intimacy is not about just sex. Intimacy is taming the mind and heart of another person, and, to tame someone in such a manner you should be patient yet compelling.One needs to work more on it than they expect.Words like " take an action " can leave leave him further high and dry.There are better terms that could have been used. Sex is more of a mental set up.If someone forces ones mind it is never gonna happen.<br />
I like you for being straight but being too straight neither works in relationships not at workplace.<br />
Apart from that, me being a married girl myself, if my husband would have said men can do a certain thing but women should not as it does not suit them it would also leave me fuming. Here I believe in parity because these rules are set by men.It shows one has had a chauvinistic upbringing.So in this respect you are not wrong in your way of thinking.<br />
<br />
Anyways, good luck for your future...

*hugs* thank you :)

Nice. So you're essentially telling Temptressempress that her approach was wrong. At least she TRIED to start a conversation. How many women just stuff it down and wait? And wait. And wait. Forever.

I noticed that the husband didn't ask what he could do. This relationship had other issues.

What did he finally say about that?

well I had dirty filty thoughts of other men but that never happend while I with him..I was pretty tough when dealing things of my loyalty.. Im now free of him but not for the reason to jump on other mens arms but to be myself...iam not ready...iam just enjoyng everything i have now...

There are times when two people just grow in life in separate directions. The the two people are no longer together in mind or body. No ones fault because the only thing in life you can count on is change. Sometimes that flow of life runs together and sometimes not. Then it becomes a division and when things are that divided it is in every-ones best interest to go separate ways. Because you will have a hard time going your own path when the trail changes course and you are tied to another moving down the path not chosen. Been there done that. It does work out way better go your own way peacefully. ;-)

This is true and I believe in what u say. :)


That hits me as very wise &amp; very true. I am at that stage in a long relationship that blessedly gave me the time to see myself and work out some of my insanities and
allow me to live and experience a more beautiful life. It is hard to go separate ways when what she has given me is priceless. Nevertheless I feel what you say is true. I think it will be for the best for all.

2 More Responses

Time to Man Up!

I think it is great that you are open to your husband and speaking about what's bothering you, however, you went too far telling him you will get sex somewhere else! Sorry, but no body likes to hear this and it was rude, it is exactly like you are telling him, I'm gonna cheat on you - You should have left it at the 8th line and just silence, he will think about it.

its good you had this candid conversation with him. Couples should always keep each other informed as to what they are feeling and desiring. Hopefully things inproved after that talk.

U are right!!! When I signed my marriage contract I also gave my total self to it including my dirty thoughts... I tell him if he looks good and if he done something great..Iam very appreciative to my sorroundings and to the people I love including my daughter and parents and sisters and friends...its a good practice