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Miss You

Another lonely night! 
Can’t stand it anymore. 
This empty house. Feelings. This frozen life.
I need you so much. I am dying inside. Come.
I am begging you. Please Come.
I will do anything. I will bury my pride. Just let me touch you…"

He was sitting at home writing his journal and thought - Maybe I should say, “I shall conquer my pride."  No. This does not say at all about how I feel. I am going crazy here. I am walking all over the walls. I can not concentrate. I am boiling. I hate my bed. All these hours when I toss and turn around. It is so cold and lonely. I can not find my place there. My body is exploding and I have nowhere to go.  

“I want you in my life," he wrote. “I want you badly. I want to feel your closeness. I want to fill you. I want to dive into you. I need your hands to touch me. I need your lips. I want you to be everywhere. I want to admire your shape, your breasts, your legs, your secret places. I want to smell your hair…"

No. It does not sound right – he thought. No matter what I say is not enough. I feel such a big void. I can't express myself fully. I am sitting at my desk, staring at the computer  and I am completely paralyzed by my desire. It is burning inside me. Flames all over. I can't breathe.

“I love when you are so sensitive,” he started again. “Every move and every touch - it goes deeper.  You are so intense, so gentle and caring. Hold me strong. I want to lose myself in you. You surround me and complete me in all moments…"

"Bla, bla, bla. That is enough," he said to himself. No more talking. It makes me more and more hungry.

“I want to hear your voice,” he started anyway. “Tell me what to do. Whisper your deepest desire. Open yourself. Let me in. I will set your body on fire. Tell me all these words. Fill me with passion and need. I will rise with you and cherish you. You are my love and we shall never be apart anymore."

Bolek Bolek 41-45, M 17 Responses Jun 7, 2012

Your Response


your something about it

Thank you for your kindness.
I wish you great time there.

The first paragraph very much describes my every waking moment. Creepy pic by the way. I became sick and had to go to doctors so often I ended up changing to a home based high school. All my friends dropped me like a rock, even if they lived close, or I bumped into them at the mall. They would ignore my attempts at talking to them though phone calls/texts/online, and in person they acted like I didnt exist and they didnt know me. After I got better I moved to a new state, I've been here 5 almost 6 months and havent been able to make a single friend, despite all my trying. Sleezy men and teen guys hit on me all the time (but I'm a lesbian) and I'm just looking for some friends ): At the craft store, at fairs and festivals, even grocery shopping and the mall. After all this I became active in EP for a form of friends. Still alone in life...

My community:

That is good that you are lesbian.
I am not sure how this can go about being friends.
If you feel like to talk we can try and see if we have something in common.
I have many friends but I never asked them with whom they are sleeping.
Not my business.
Thank you for sharing your story.

Oh wow, there is a lotta passion there hahaha . And yes sometimes pride can get in the way of things. I can tell you I sure have felt that way, or feel that way, and im sure many other people feel the way you are describing. I truly love all your stories, they always make me reflect in one way or another :) Hope you weekend was good!

My weekend was great. Thank you. I hope yours too.
You are always very kind and thoughtful to me. Thank you for that kindly.

you're very welcome :).My weekend was good, i was able to relax and enjoy myself.

Fantastic. It makes me very happy to know that you are doing well. You are very kind spirit and you deserve the best.

I just wanted to say that I really appreciate all your all you did for me and my family DR. You really helped me through what I think was the most difficult time of my life. Your kindness and caring goes way beyond the products you sell.and I hope that I will someday meet you. You will always be in my prayers and I will never forget what you have done for me for bringing back my happiness and healing my sick child.

I am not sure if I am that person. I had have never chance talk to you and I am not salesman. Anyway thank you for your comment. I am always ready to help as much as I can. I am glad that your child is well now and that you are happy again. I am keeping your email and your post.

thats how i felt for him... i never knew guys cud feel that way... though at times i did feel it in his voice... urgh his pride... but then it was his pride who bought him to me... so cant blame it ... love is such a beautiful thing... but the pain sometimes is unbearable.:) wish u really meant it for someone and not just saying them.:)

Ooo Yes we can feel that way. I always do.

so beautifully expressed.. loved ur write :)

You words are beautiful melody which are making me very happy.

So beautiful.....the longing, so true.....Love it !

You own my heart.

Beautiful and poetic if only we can all learn to be open maybe we can find our true love

Yes. It can be some problem some problem in this area.
Thank you.

Love what you wrote...(((hugs))) :))

Love what you said right now. Hugs back.

Excellent desc<x>ription of that feeling, hoping against hope and the anguish that it brings in the loneliest times of our day.

You are very articulate. You have a gift for expressing yourself. The part about this frozen life caught my eye. I don't think I have ever heard anyone phrase it like that but it makes perfect sense. I hope you find what it is you're looking for.

Thank you. I am in a good stretch of my life now. I have a feeling that something good can happen to me. I hope for the best result.

hi, i cant contact him because he lives at his mothers and from what he says about me, they hate me, i am a good person, i will do anything for anyone, i called some people that knew him and told them to have him call me, they don't text back or call back or answer the phone. i feel like i am in my own little world with just me and noone else in it, noone cares , or helps me, i may go to the hospital and check myself in ad i cannot think straight and cant live like this

Well it is really dramatic what you are saying. At that point we can only wait and see and hope for the best. Stay calm. That is not true that nobody cares. I am sure that everything is going to be ok. Don't give up on hope.

Hi, Thank you for writing this. It is 719 am , i feel liken you. i feel so lost and empty and alone. i miss myboyfriend so much. i cant go on every day, i hate my house, i hate my life. he is an alcoholic with problems but i don't care. the emptiness i feel is taking me over, i cant do my job, i do not want to go on except that i have a dog and 3 cates to take care of. if it were not for them, i wouldn't go in, they are the only ones that need me or need to me to take of tham. i cant pay my rent, am being evicted, i am thinking, what is wrong with me, i did not like him when he was here and now i 'd o anything just to see him, can't call him, he doesn't have a phone, can't see him, he doesn't have a car, he tells everyone it was my fault but it wasnt, all i wanted to do was be with him, i need contact , i need love, i am a good peson, i don't want people to make me out to be something i'm not, i would do anything for anyone and i want those people (his family) to see that. he is at his mother's and he told them bad things about me so they think totally wrong about me, i want to call his mother's to talk to him but she probably would pick up the phone and tell me not to call. how do i get in touch with him? do i write a letter and put it in their mailbox. i am going to be on the streests if i don't do something, i need to cheer up and go out and see people, i am dying here, i hate that they hear things about me and believe them even thought they don't know me, i will do anythhing for anyone, i dont want to be here alone, and i am going to go out today, i need him with me and i hope he needs me to and want s to see me

If you can't live with out him contact him, talk to him. But I feel like it is not going to be easy now and in the future. You sounds like very good person don't worry what others talk or think about you. I know you are good. Don't panic. You survived till now you will manage things in the coming days. You have a lot of to offer and I am sure you will find somebody who will appreciate that. Thank you for sharing.

oh my god . . . you are GREAT ! ! . . . now that's excellent writting . . . thank you so much for sharing this . . . I ate up every word . . . delicious ! ! . . . :)


wow...that was so passionate and powerful. I was completely entranced by your words.

Thank you. When you said "powerful" i felt chills. Love you.

I'm glad you have this passion. I was just getting diagnosed with chronic depression when my love of over 15 years asked for a divorce. I was numb. After four years, I'm still stuggling with depression and low libido. Losing the love of my life and the mother of my kids was and still is devastating. It kills me that the cheating dip-$hit that screwed around on his own wife, and broke up my marriage, has now taken my place and lives with my ex-wife and kids half of every week. <br />
Keep that fire alive and let it burn for someone new.

Thank you for sharing and your kind words.

Your writing is so passionate.<br />
I feel your feelings. And I know what loneliness means. But there is someone out there for everyone and sooner or later a couple finds each other.

Thank you for giving me hope.