I have a very strong libido, which is fine because there are ways and means to have it satisfied, even when single, as I am right now. However, I'm getting to the stage where being a casual playmate or reliant on toys isn't enough. The problem arises when my sex drive is so constant that I feel driven to placate it and yes, it does sometimes feel like a separate being from me. I do so love that build up of desire and then the deep pleasure it gives when fulfilled, but it can also stop me from developing the emotional side of myself. I freely admit that I am an indulgent woman. I like pleasure, who doesn't, but how do I find the balance between giving into my needs and building something more substantial, more emotionally as well as physically fulfilling?
Cay12 Cay12
41-45, F
5 Responses Aug 4, 2012

There's a quiz out there on the web telling you which circle of Dante's hell you belong to. I took it and I belong to Circle 2: Lust. I suspect you're right in there with me lol! More seriously, my wife and I met and fell in lust, crazy lust. But we're still together, and still in lust, 30 years later, so we have created something substantial and fulfilling from a chance encounter. (I have heard it said that coincidences are what happens when God wants to remain anonymous. I believe my wife and me meeting was a pure coincidence.)

lol I think I'd agree with you re: circle of hell, but I suppose it would only be hellish because you'd never be able to satisfy your needs. Now that would indeed be hell itself. I love that you and your wife have built a wonderful relationship from a purely lustful foundation. It gives me a sweet sense of hope xx

Well thank god I wouldn't be able to satisfy my needs. If I did, I wouldn't have anything to live for! Although, as I would be in hell, I'd probably be dead anyway... But I might be in a lot better company than among the saved. (I am not a great believer in hell, as you may have guessed...) Again, on a more serious note, my wife and I met when we were in our late thirties and we have friends who met in their fifties and who are still in love at age 80+ so there is always hope. Keep plugging!

That's a very good point and one that had evaded me. Hmmm not to satisfy one's needs is better than satisfying them. It's a thought.

Have Two sets of men.. One set to play and another set to take serious. The serious set practice being who you want to be.. The best of you .. The other set have fun but do not get emotional about .

That's a sad state of affairs. I don't think in reality that I could separate men like that and anyway, I can't believe that there aren't men out there that can be both fun and sexual. In fact I know that's not the case because I have been lucky enough to find that combination.

Our ability to satisfy our needs and wants, our ability to achieve and complete relationships boils down to our attractiveness, our ability to be authentic, empathetic, and interesting. That is unless we are deeply flawed in which case there is no need for alarm. Just brighten your day with a bowl of corn flakes, a run, and 200 sit ups. Then go shopping. Don’t buy anything unless you want or need it and remember you are only as lonely as the distance you put between yourself and others.

your restrictions prevent whiteboarding response

You fr<x>ame the question beautifully, and I wish I had the answer. I so relate to a sex drive being separate from your persona. I dunno, find a kindred spirit who understands the problem so when the need overtakes you you can go to a safe place? The first rule is "Physician, do no harm." It trumps "Any port in a storm."