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Physical.

Physical contact is a crazy wonderful thing. This summer I came across a guy that I just about fell in love with. We had such meaningful deep conversations and he showed me so much (same man in my other story 'Ive Unlocked the Brain hatch'). I think I had more physical intimacy this summer then the rest of my life combined. I almost peed my pants when I discoved he lived in the subdivision right behind my house and I could walk there in under 3 minutes. I was there almost daily. We held eachother and kissed and made out and smoked and laughed and did silly things like dance and I loved it all. We had so much sex I got a bladder infection...****, and he was so good at it too. He'd sit by his window and I'd lie their naked and out of breath barely able to get the cigarette to my lips my hand would be shaking so bad.

The memories haunt me now. I'm sure he wants nothing to do with me anymore, it seems to be that way. I dont know what happened. My parents were hard to deal with from the start but he dealt with it. I thought he really cared about me, I know he did once actually. He hasn't talked to me for over a week now and before then I had to squeeze out the words from him to get him to speak to me. It's like he died. Everything was cut off so fast. I'd be more okay if he'd just text me at least but it's the physical contact I miss the most. I felt extremely loved and appreciated, and now it's all gone. But I'm dealing with it better then I would have a year... 6 months ago if it happened then, so I'm proud of myself. Maybe this is why your supposed to wait til your married to have sex...
janealoneontheplain janealoneontheplain 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 18, 2012

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Dear janealoneontheplain,
You sound like a strong person. I am not trying to control your next steps, just want to suggest checking out some internet sites. Maybe google "10 relationship deal breakers" or things like this. I have done it myself and gained some insight about what i was doing wrong for my situation. Just an idea and hope it helps. Good luck to you!!!

If you came away with a heart that could well be starting to be less broken already - and a bladder infection - you've maybe got a valuable intro to sex and relationships at a good price. Value the experience. I didn't get enough it when I was younger - otherwise I might have made a better choice in my marriage.

So... from what I've learnt so far... next time.....

Drink more (fluids preferably not all alcoholic)

Smoke less

Keep using the contraception (and, of course, the sunscreen)

Additional valuable advice on sunscreen etc. can be found on YouTube from Baz Luhrmann

Hahahhaa this made me laugh