Falling Down.

My relationship with my now ex gf fell apart. I forgot how truly painful it is not to have someone to hold.  I am not a clingy person in the least and I value my alone time.  But right now I just want to be held and feel the mutual comfort of body contact.

I feel like I am playing a game of musical chairs The music stopped and I was left standing alone.  

This is not the first time I've been alone in my life but I remember what I was like back then and I don't want that.  People were made in pairs, we are social mammals and we need each other.

 I know myself well enough to know where this longing goes.  I have started avoiding people in the halls and when I have to work close to someone I've started asking them to move back while I work. It is only a matte of time before when someone stands to close to me my skin crawls. Soon after that casual contact will feel like fire on my skin.  Then finally I will avoid even talking to people.

I feel myself withdrawing for the world.  I am so frightened to go back that place.  The dark place where even when I am surrounded by people and am completely alone.

I need to be held I need an anchor someone to keep me form hiding in myself. I want to be held and to hold someone.
WizzKidd WizzKidd
31-35, M
1 Response Dec 8, 2012

Its been long time that someone held me