Admission Of GuiltIt's true. Normally, I'd never say so out loud...but hey, this is EP, right? If not here, then where?
I have lots of friends. Get hugs pretty much every day. My sons are affectionate.
I'm not unhappy being single...that whole marriage thing was a ride I wouldn't want to repeat in that same way. It was sexless for over a decade. I never assumed I'd get single and ramp it up...I knew there would be a time for me to reconnect, internally...no dallying...time to get clear with myself, hopes and dreams, et al.
I didn't, though, imagine that I'd go from there ever after into that same lack of intimacy. I crave it. Have craved that closeness for what seems like forever. I also know it can not happen meaninglessly.
Dunno...maybe I've set expectations too high. I thought for a few minutes that I had met that special guy...once or twice (fine, MAYBE thrice). I am clear that no amount of "online" bait/hook will ever take the place of the touch of a lover. Maybe, like my friends say, I have to expand my life circle if I hope to ever meet "my" man. Whatever the requirements...I'd meet them if I knew how it all works.
Ok...boil it down:
I remember, I met a Genie once.
Genie: Would you choose to have love, or to lose all of your memory?
Me: I choose love, most certainly.
Me: I remember, I met a Genie once.
simplygirl 46-50, F 22 Responses 17 Feb 2, 2013