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Forgotten

This is very hard for me to admit.  Something I know I shouldn't be ashamed of, but I am.  And it makes me incredibly sad. 

I am craving the touch of another.  It has been so long, I fear that I have forgotten what that feels like.  I fear that I may never have it again.  I fear that it's been so long, I will just learn to live with it and will shy away from any contact from any other person.  And I don't want to be like that.

It has been almost one year since I was intimate with my husband (whom I'm separated from).  No hand holding, no hugs, no cuddling, no sex. 

It has been 7 months since the last time I had sex.  Yet, there was no real intimacy with that. 

Thinking back to the few hugs I've gotten from friends, I now realize that I felt a little uncomfortable with that kind of touch.  Was it because I didn't want to get too into it because I was craving it?  Or was it because I was becoming awkward with that kind of touch?  

This lack of intimacy, touch, the safety of being in someone's arms, the feeling of being wanted is beginning to physically hurt.  And it's emotionally killing me slowly. 

I just feel so alone.

CuriosityKitten CuriosityKitten 31-35, F 109 Responses Jan 12, 2009

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HUGZ!

Would luv to slowly reach under your skirt kitten, fingers sliding up those soft sexy inner thighs, higher and higher till my fingers reach your panties, wonder if kittens legs would spread apart a little, loving the feel of your hot little panties and gently caressing your ***** thru them, can I now feel kittens panties begin to get damp

it's been almost two and a half years here..and two years since i've had sex with anyone,, I have a lump in my throat even typing this. I don't want to be cynical. I don't want to think real love is a dream told to little girls that doesn't exist..it's so awful..i feel you. i'm there too..it sux.

Wonders why is this happening so frequently? Its sad to read so many who suffer from a lack of touch, love...

Someone help me understand please.

I know exactly how you feel. I've been without real contact for 30 years because of my accident. It's the worst not feeling connected to humanity by touch. You go out and find a new guy to give you what you need. Don't give up though.

That's a shame; the simple hug, touch or kiss can make such a huge difference; I hope you don't give up, push on and explore what makes you happy and then go after it and accept nothing shirt of what you want, it's out there you just have to be willing to search for it

You are a young lady and should and deserve affection from a man.You must decide what will make you the happiest!!Everyone must do what they think is best for themselves!!There is no reason why you shouldn't do what's best for you!!Me myself I couldn't go without SEX!!Do what you think is right!!!!

:( I feel lonely too

i know this feeling after being with someone foreverand having it ripped away i felt so needy that i shrank from people.

after a year of this my hormones from stress went into teenage boy mode. i had 27 encounters because my desire gave way to fears.
i now know what men feel like. Im under control again. i feel so ashamed. ( not) i wish i could get that back it was exciting. but my morals returned
and god dam i just want a good relationship so im being the good girl i always was. btw pack condoms. you never know.

:(

Actually I believe your reaction to touch is normal. If you think about it your desire for intimacy may be starting to control your feelings of satisfactory for touch and intimacy. What I mean is its a self defense and self control mechanism. Self defense part is not letting yourself get hurt by your own emotions. Example you finally went 2 weeks without the lonely ness thoughts of lack of intimacy so by hugging or touching is like kick starting it back to make you sad and dwelling on it. The self control part is your fading control of your normal body reactions. Lets say you are out for drinks with friends and this guy that is present you feel attracted to. Now you start touching or hugging your PERFECTLY NORMAL biological desire kicks in wanting to be ravished and desired feeling the safety and power of someone making love to you. But I bet your moral upbringing is a battle saying "you can't take them home" . And with that you may feel less and less able to control yourself. I hope this helps! I may be way off but my biggest question or concern for you is Why? Why are you denying yourself intimacy? I truly truly don't mean to be crude. But sometimes to heal ourselves and be healthy is to take steps towards that after a relationship is over. Ever heard the saying " Best way to get over one; is to get under one!" I am not saying you have to go out and rack up your number. But I am sure there has got to be someone who desires you that you just don't pay attention to the signs or advances of them. I say brush yourself off get what you need to live happily.

The bigget thing is not let fear control your life.

Just shocking how you've been through this! Sorry for all you've been through. We all crave the warmth of others.

My advice......find a **** buddy who you can trust and whom you feel comfortable with and give each other what you need. Importantly this person has to be someone who you can be friends with and who is supportive emotionally......not just someone who wants sex. I found someone in this way and we ended up falling in love!

I'm always craving physical contact and there's nothing wrong in that, I'll have some contact with you if you aren't too far away!

my wife of 37 years died with a heart attack on thanksgiving day 2004.I was devastated ,depressed .in agony over her loss. I n a world of despare.months later i began to come out of it and real ize that life goes on . I began tofeel a desire to have that closeness with another person that JMsolo mentioned .someone to be close to just to talk to or maybe get a hug from.. so yes i know your feelin i have been there .<br />
i should add so that there is no confusion on the part of the reader that i am a transgedered person .my wife knew that and loved me any wayfor who and as i am.

this is so sad.... i honestly teared up. humans as a whole crave contact not always sexually but contact of some sort. i hope this gets better for you

Humans are made to be around other humans... and that means that we all need affection and touch. We are in a world that everything is about taking care of ourselfs and being scared of everything, thats why we reject other people in our lifes, you never know whats going to happen in a relation with another human being... and its not always about casual sex... we just need the the proximity of others

I know that what i have doen , and although it can be tough at times I have always kept trying and lloing out for more women to chat or get intimate with.

its tough to become intimate after some kind of event that effected a marriage or relationship. We have all experienced that but you need to step up and be yourself againand get sex and intimacy in your life and stop feeling sorry for yourself.

you should never feel bad about the feeling of intimacy and sex.
Its naturtal and wonderful feeling and al you need to do is talk about
these feeling with another guy or find someone you want to feel good about to
have sex so that the feeling feels real and is repeated as often as you need it.Sometimes video chat or webcam sex can be just as fullfilling. It depends on the person

Hello, old friend. I know how you suffer.

I have been going through this for the past 5 or 6 years. The difference is that I'm not separated! I long for that touch, that intimacy of sharing your body with another person. In the past years, I have been intimate with my partner for about a handful of times. During these times, there is no caressing or foreplay or really much of anything. Just the intercourse. I am a human, a passive woman, who longs for that physical touch and its killing me, one day at a time. I'm disabled and have alot of health issues but I'm not dead. I make comments like, "we will have to separate if this situation doesn't improve" or "I know I can find someone that would want to be with me, sexually" and other sayings like that. He will talk like its going to improve but it hasn't. He blames it on his mother and his strict catholic upbringing. That's how he deals with oral sex. I call that "bullsh*t". Previously, none of the physical contact was without alcohol induction. Did I mention that he was a functional, working alcoholic? This is only part of my lonliness and I can share your pain, my friend. Just a note to let you know that you are NOT alone with your experience. Actually, this is the first time I had talked to anyone about it outside of him. It hurts eh?

I know exactly how you feel! I have not been intimate with my wife for 11 months. I may get a hug once in a while, but that is it. If I try to touch her arm or leg in bed, she moves it off. It is driving me crazy!!! How long can I take this????

CuriosityKitten,
I share your much of your story: my wife checked out of our marriage about seven months ago; no touch, no intimacy, not even a kiss or a hug. She told me she does not want a man in her bed any more. What kind of a woman is that? She will leave me when she can afford to. It has torn me apart. I am going through the toughest time of my life in several areas and I could use her love. She still lives in our house. I miss her so bad, I could scream sometimes. She is outright mean to me at times and unforgiving, both of which make matters worse. We are headed toward divorce. I cannot reach her at all, God can't either. I was not a perfect husband but I was not a bad husband either. 34 years and she pulls this. I grab her pillows and hold them close to me sometimes and make believe I am holding her. It is awful. I do not believe in having an affair. I am a moral man. Maybe after we officially divorce, I can move on and have intimacy again. I waited for my wife sexually till marriage and she withheld sex from me as weapon many times. Makes me wonder why I waited or should wait the next time around. But I am a Christian man who wants to live for God. Sometimes it is downright hard. But it has its rewards, too. In the end I will intimacy again with another woman who will love me and enjoy life once again.

Me too... Me too

we all crave for that feeling . sometime i feel alone even when my wife is at home. she puts to much in her job . sometimes you just someone to talk to know how you feel . the warm feeling of get a hug

I understand, I am in the same boat. I almost forget what it is like to touch another human. i wish you the best of luck.

I feel for you....going through something similar right now.

"Was it because I didn't want to get too into it because I was craving it?"

-Exactly how I've felt for the last two years.
I'm also afraid that I will never find someone who makes me feel as good as she did.

I just wanted to say that I really appreciate all your all you did for me and my family DR. humenhealingtemple@yahoo.com You really helped me through what I think was the most difficult time of my life. Your kindness and caring goes way beyond the products you sell.and I hope that I will someday meet you. You will always be in my prayers and I will never forget what you have done for me for bringing back my happiness and healing my sick child.