An Unhurried Touch

I don't want the physical contact of sex. I want the physical contact of love. The joy of unexpected hugs from that special someone as they sneak up behind you while your cooking. Holding hands while you do the grocery shopping. Being tangled up in each others arms, watching a movie together. Soft kisses to pass the time, while you listen to the rain on a lazy Sunday. An unhurried touch of a lover who finds comfort in holding you as well as being held by you.

Seems impossible to find.


SunshineLass SunshineLass
36-40, F
48 Responses Jan 9, 2010

I disagree with you on this, my wife and I have been married for over 37 yrs. and we still hold hands when we go out, I still sneak up behind her, we say I love you several times a day and we curl up on the couch on nasty days and watch movies. So you just need to find the right person to get what you desire and yes that is the hard part of it all finding the right person. Good luck. :-)

I would love that, as well. Maybe one day...

I feel you sister!! I feel the exact same way, seems so hard to find almost unreachable sometimes... I hope you find it sooner than later.

Not impossible! Hang in there...keep looking...he is there!

I'm a guy and I want this lol :)

I just want to cuddle and kiss. I don't even care if I have sex. I'm right there with you!!

I'd like to add my comment to the ones already here: I totally agree. And like you, it does seem impossible for me to find. I thought I had, once, but that was ten years ago and it totally failed. Now, it seems like all I'll ever have is the memory of a failed love.

is there room for long conversations? looooong hugs?

I agree. It seems elusive.

I really envy those guys on the ED commercials, they get that special look from their partner.

...sending out a positive intention (or prayer) to God that those who seek this kind of love, like I do, find it.

its out there you just have to find the right one . thats what love is all about careing for each other

I feel very much like you do, I became sick and had to go to doctors so often I ended up changing to a home based high school. All my friends dropped me like a rock, even if they lived close, or I bumped into them at the mall. They would ignore my attempts at talking to them though phone calls/texts/online, and in person they acted like I didnt exist and they didnt know me. After I got better I moved to a new state, I've been here 5 almost 6 months and havent been able to make a single friend, despite all my trying. Sleezy men and teen guys hit on me all the time (but I'm a lesbian) and I'm just looking for some friends ): At the craft store, at fairs and festivals, even grocery shopping and the mall. After all this I became active in EP for a form of friends. Still alone in life...

My community:

Very well said

Know what you mean.....the little things....its always the little things that make the difference to me. I have recently left a relatively unaffectionate marriage....very different from the person I am. But I don't think we are alone....unfortunately. I make the most of hugging friends, not the same hahahaha, but the love and affection is helped to stay alive within me, that I do know.....and it really makes a difference to the people I hug! But yeah, what you talk about, I crave that too, with someone I love deeply and them me....its so special that wayx

Love everyone wants it! Me too^^

Huh i would love that

I am just lonely right now. I don't have the words to express. My husband passed 2 months ago.


I am so very sorry to hear about your husband, really. My heart goes out to you, but you need to be kind to your feelings if you don't mind me saying so...give yourself kind time to take life slowly, please. God Bless darlinx

yea.... i still remember holding my gf close to my chest. she loved to listen to the rythm of my heart beat... thts y i used to call her my HrtBt.... i kno wat u feel like.... n i absolutely agree tht guys really dnt undrstand its importance... i tried tellng this to my frnds bf, bt he jz laughed it off... well anyway.... i really wish u find some1 to hold u wid all his heart and stay tht way as if u two hd all the tym in the world... :)

My husband doesn't understand the importance of physical contact without sex all the time. Women need to be held and feel loved. My husband will dog this but then got straight to trying to havre sex. If you havre someone who understand this then good luck!

Just like women don't understand the importance of sex without the emotions. Many ways to look at the same thing.

You are probably extremely arousing to your husband and he cannot help the effect you have on him. But yes, I find the affection on lots of levels very emotionally and mentally nourishing.

There are many ways to look at the same thing yobnhojmi and I have to admit from a young age.....15 years women realising that males take part in sex without any emotion whatsoever was really the first understanding we had of all you guys hahahahaha no offence

So nicely put....I absolutely crave it.

I would love to give you a hug and maybe a kiss? :) HUUUUGGGG.

Thats sort of a lovely thing to say kidcurry92....well done you

thank you :) Can I hug you too?

It is very easy to relate to this. When dating my current wife, we used to meet up at a local motel each Sunday morning. She ws seperated I was legally divorced and living back at home see if the marriage could be fixed, didn't work out.<br />
We would meey up go to the room get naked and snuggle for a few hours to make up for the long week apart. Often times she would fall asleep next to me(tired from caring for her elderly mother and working full time), and I would just watch her sleep and imagine the day when we would be together. There were times when we never even had sex and just holding each other talking , being naked and kissing I will tell you the pleasure felt was sometimes far beyond the actual pleasure of the act and climax, It was connection we have, even today with basically no sex of foreplay or seeing her naked, when the opportunity comes along(rarely) to lie naked feeling her skin is better than any drug and intoxicating to me. I need that so much right now and have thought to myself surely there is some unhappy married woman out there who needs the same to get through the days till hopefully things change.<br />
Where does one fond such a person? Then I ask myself if it was possible would I really do it. For me that intimate contact from a woman , who responds, makes me feel whole and complete and am willing to give anything anyway to feel it.

mandown...that has got to be one of the most beautiful stories I have ever read. Thanks for sharing. Lucky you and your wife. Glad you got to keep eachother. Special love.

Honestly I want and lust. I have had pure physical relationships and it is very true that they are pretty empty without an emotional connection. However, I have also loved men who did not satisfy me physically. Fortunately I currnently have the best of both worlds- I have a man I love to love and I have a male friend I love to f-ck. Life is good!

I remember those days....<br />
I wish you luck. :)

I hope you have found this Love Hunni....your words are perfect too<br />
<br />
I too am Searching for this Impossible Love,one can find to have Sex anytime,this is Pointless,Love is the Most Important in Ones Life.<br />
<br />
Good luck.x

We are out here in plain site I just dont think thats what women are initially attracted to so we go unnoticed.

I think outmymind we get so used to protecting ourselves and being on the defensive with the wrong ones that we sometimes just done have the time left to notice the right ones.......we need more right ones...

I. Have had this discussion so many times that it's almost funny when I here a woman say those words"I jus wish I could find a nice guy" . My response is if you really wanted to find a nice guy you probably already did. Most women have that guy that is a close friend that secretly would do anything for them but they either lack looks or excitement or money so they stay a friend that's always there. Atleast that's what I see from my perspective .

I do hear you outmymind....but honestly....and I know alot of women go for looks/money/excitement....but I wasn't brought up that way. I have a man now, who has a beautiful loving heart. If I had found him 10 years ago I would have snapped him up. All the other things inconsequential.....with lots of money, it helps, but does not buy you happiness, not me anyway. With love, you can use that beautiful energy to cope with everything else that life slings at you I think......But I do hear you. Unfortunately I know women who go for what you have said...I don't get it. I think they must be very shallow. It wouldn't do for us all to be the same though. But, it wouldn't keep me happy quite honestlyx

I have a man that was always doing sweet little things like that. and then he moved an hour away for college. I only get to see him once a week for a couple hours. He is still sweet but I get that need for physical contact of love that you are yearning for. It sucks... :/

Those are the things I am looking for and I do believe it is out there somewhere. Do not lose hope.

Sorry to hear that RH0041, but what you're saying it's true it's a two way street

Sweet concept..I think most of us long for those small but special moments.<br />
I seem to get hurt when ever I make an effort to show her she is special to me.<br />
Maybe thats her way of dealing with life.<br />
If I come up behind her while she is cooking and nibble her ear...she gets very angry.<br />
I give her a whole body message, as soon as I am done, she tells me to get out and go pay bills or something. <br />
All I am saying really is "It's a two way street" The couple have both want to share these feelings.<br />
My wife, I am sure wants to, but can't.<br />
As a man, I don't know how to cope with that.<br />
I want it< I crave it, I can't have it.

I just keep looking. Everytime i think i may have found him, he just slips out of my hands like a slippery fish. Ugh! So frustrating, but i know it will be worth it in the end.

Beautifully expressed, I read this and wonder if I will ever find that special person too.......

Reading this just made me cry...

I've had it before, would like it some more, yet it's hard to find and even harder to keep. <br />
<br />
Still I have to admit... to be able to pull her pants down... and go to town, right after that hug from behind would be sweet...

i would like the same tired of being alone

WhatBeesToday I really like your comment. I liked the original story as well.

Wow this is best I have read so far in EP - you really touched my core as I am revisiting my thoughts when I was with my partner (soul mate) whom I respect, admire appreciate and love deeply. We have done all the above you mentioned and more those were the best things ever happened to me in my entire adult life as a woman. He has made me discovered the beauty in me I have never known I had. I see him deeper than ocean and he is pure and amazing soul. The fact that we know and able to accept we are not perfect that comes with complex package builds up our respect and appreciate our love beyond words. I can embrace the moments and will remember him for rest of my life.<br />
<br />
My thoughts with you someday you will find that someone special and have the same if not better experience than me. All the best.

I also had all those things, once upon a time. she was the world to me but it didnt last of course.

I feel just the same way... :'(

For me if I never had sex ever again, I wouldn't miss it, but not to have that look or that gentle touch from another could kill me. I found out this past week just how strong a kind face, a gentle touch could be and when I had to leave and on the way to my destination I found out from my soul and heart just how strong it was, my body shuddered and cried very hard over this. It has changed me, I'm still learning on how to deal with it. It was my heart and soul that caused the breakdown, I never experienced this kind of thing before, something new I learned about myself.

Maybe you just need to look in different places :)

i`m happy to have experienced what you were talking about. and let me tell you, it`s the sweetest in the world... i hope i could feel it again soon. i`ve broken up with my boyfriend exactly two months ago today and it still drives me crazy thinking how our bodies touch...<br />
<br />
physical contact is the best only with love though, don`t settle for less otherwise it would lose its magic.

I totally agree, physical contact is best when there are strong feelings attached. I used to love cuddling after one night standsand now I dont want to even hold hands with a guy. I guess its because Im just so used to being used for my body that Im waiting for something more.

I agree with you, and i need to be held and holding hands, the emotional bonding is awesome, then the sex is great, but i so long for the touch, to have a womans arms around me, i feel like i am dying inside, wilting without love, my children hug me and say they love me but that is not the same as having a adult womans affection, i know i am not much of a man cause i need these things but thats my feelings

You are more of a man for being strong enough to express how you feel. Don't discredit yourself. Be proud of that fact.

I so agree with rban68 be very proud.

I know what you mean.Sex means nothing if at the end of it all I go back to nothing.

I know what you mean.Sex means nothing if at the end of it all I go back to nothing.

I'm hoping, should I find it, it'll last with a little bit of luck and a whole lot of work. I pray real love can be found and maintained. Otherwise, why are we here? It would suck to go through life with revolving lovers and no permanent bonds.

Agreed. I hate the thought of getting a divorce. Unfortunately each day brings me closer to it.

I had all of those things. It's not impossible to find, but it seems impossible to keep. How could something so wonderful last for a lifetime?