How Much Can One Bear?

I am crying on the inside.No one would ever know it because I keep a smile on my face even when I feel like dying on the inside.The pain is so intense but I don't let anyone else know how I am really feeling.I try to be strong for everyone else.I am the sounding board,I am that shoulder to cry on,I am the friend who will listen at 3.a.m.and all the while I am crying on the inside.

I feel like I owe it to others to continue to be strong but I feel like I am crumbling to pieces little by little.My marriage is not happy like it used to be,my finances are none!I'm broke as hell,I am miserable and don't see any end in sight.I sometimes contemplate suicide but I quickly come back to reality I have children and they need me I believe that is why I am still here.I have always said to others that God will not put more on you than what you can bear,so I draw from that he must know that I am capable of overcoming what I am going thru right now.I know that this is just a season in my life that I have to endure and I will learn every lesson there is to learn during this season so that I wont have to revisit my current lesson.

dreamer33 dreamer33
5 Responses May 21, 2008

I laugh but I don't smile, there's a difference.

wow! this is a mirror of my life!!!! I don't know what to do

I think you need someone who you can vent to. Someone who will listen to you, like you do for others. If you keep bottling your emotions up things will just get worse.<br />
Have you tried discussing these feelings with family and friends?

Maybe you should look at getting a degree in school or write down where you money is going each month. Maybe consider marriage counsleing. We all have hard times. I"m broke live with my parents have no job. Its frustrating. If you need someone to talk to I"m here.

G-d forbid!