Tears That Won't Fall

Everything that I have grown up learning and accepting as truth is now being questioned.I am going through intense turmoil in my life.I was taught to trust God and everything will work out but everything is so hard right now.The tears are ready to flow at any moment and I've been holding on to them.

Why have I been holding back the tears?I'm starting to ask myself that question.Maybe I feel like I'm weak if I break down and cry,maybe I'm so used to being the rock for everyone else and I feel that I'll lose that title.I don't know, all I do know is that I am pretty close to tears for most of the day.If someone says boo they may come out like a flood that's how close I am.

I have always been taught that when your pain is the most intense you know your breakthrough is near,just like having a baby the pain is intense but you know the end result will be a beautiful mini you and all that pain and suffering will have been but a memory.I try to hold on to that analogy,I keep holding on through the tears that I won't let roll down my face,through the smile that is plastered on my face even though I feel like I   am dying on the inside and completely miserable.I keep hoping,praying,wishing and waiting that this intense pain will result in extreme joy happiness and success.

dreamer33 dreamer33
5 Responses May 22, 2008

So am i.

I am there.

I understand what you are saying! {{{HUGGS}}}

I wish you peace in your life also Shaylon

You and me both!