Please Help If You Can

So I've been engaged to a WONDERFUL Woman for the past six months. We are going to be married in about nine months, now I'm finding myself falling for another woman....... My feelings for the first haven't changed at all . But the feelings for the second woman are just as strong as the first. I'm hoping someone can give me some advice on how to deal with this...... I know what I want but, in my head, what I think is right doesn't work..... If anyone can help, please do......

P.S. I would like to hear from men or women who have been in similar situations.
yttaeb yttaeb
3 Responses Sep 14, 2011

Update: It's been a little bit of a roller coaster of emotions the past few months. My fiance and I are doing GREAT!!!! as for the other, we keep in touch as friends for talk very seldom. It took a lot of soul searching to realize that I wasn't willing to put my relationship with my fiance in jeopardy for the "slim" possibility of what might be possible. Thanks for the comments and advice.

You're in a stick situation. Speaking as a 29 yr old female, who has had feelings for someone else while being married I can only say this: If you truly love your fiance, then you need to talk to her about this. Decide what it is you want. There's a chance she might go for it, but there's also a chance she might walk away. Be prepared for that. <br />
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As far as woman #2 goes, she may love you no matter what, but can you see yourself spending your life with her? <br />
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Can you see your future without your fiance in it? <br />
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In your comment you said you know what is right for you. Be sure before you take that step to change something in your relationships. Because once you make that step, you probably won't be able to take it back. Good luck. Keep us posted.

I am a male age 35. This is new to me as well. Have you spoken to your soon to be wife about this? I know that will be the hardest thing to do, but if you think she is worth it than it has to be done. On the same note, Have you talked to woman # 2? Does she have real feelings for you? Do the two get along? or even know each other? The only one thing that you need to be ok with is what is going to make you happy and complete. If you don't talk about it with them, there will always be that "what if" question in your mind till the day you die. If one dislikes the idea then you know its not ment to be. If they are both ok with it, than you will be on cloud 9. Keep honest to yourself and your wife or wives. Good luck! Tim from Kissimmee Florida.

i have been beating around the bush with the conversation with the fiance. "woman #2" yes we've had the conversation... and we've known each other since childhood..... her response is that she wants to be with me no matter what that means, even after i've explained to her what i'm feeling she still feels the same way........ It's the number one that I feel won't agree, but i'm 50/50 on it..... half of me thinks she might embrace it, based on conversations we've had..... And they do know each other, not well, but they have met. I just don't know that I'm ready to end my relationship with my Fience, but at the same time I know at this point what is right for me.