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Third Wife

I myself am a third wife - of four. And I am happy with my lifestyle, eventhough it does have its challenges I find it rewarding in terms of self growth, relationship with hubby, freedom, the ability to build a career while having a great husband..

The jealousy thing pops up sometimes, but I am sure its less than if I would be in monogamy. There is nothing to protect now, while in monogamy you are alone trying to keep your husband's attention. I know my husband doesn't even look at other women anymore since he needs all his focus and energy for us.. :)

3rdlady 3rdlady 26-30 55 Responses Jul 3, 2008

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I'm the first wife. We are currently courting another woman who if things continue will be a second wife. I like her very much, but my jealousy is so rampant and sometimes out of control I think divorce is a better option. Of course there are a lot of other issues besides husband finding another woman. He and I are in a sexless marriage. In the last 5 years we've had sex possible 6 times. My vibrator sees more action. I tell him all the time it's hard to nurture a relationship in a sexless environment. I'm *this* close to just calling it quits or worse, having an affair. Just someone to take care of my sexual and quite possibly emotional needs.

I am still hoping for my first sister wife in North America. 21 or older would be ideal.
I am serious about beginning a Poly Family. : ) thanks.

I have to say that this story was very heart warming and its given me a new lease on marriage with multiple wives and I don't mean that in a rude or disrespectful way actually im my lifestyles or religion (Islam) you can have up to four wives, but that doesn't mean you treat your wives like rubish which some do and I HATE that, infact I want to get married to two or three wives and I want to protect and share my life with them, and your story was very touching and gave me a big smile. Thank You

I haven't checked this page in ages...two years maybe. So it may be fate that I clicked on the link in my mailbox today. Because your reply was really really sweet, and it gave ME a big smile in return. Your intention seems genuine and gentle. And so I hope God will shape you into the man that will be able to carry two to three wives and provide them with the best of yourself... :) All the best.

It bothers me that someone said this "Don't know but for me it sounds like using the same toothbrush with somebody ." Polygamy is not like that. I guess they were thinking that because of sex. I feel like that is not a big deal. He has committed himself to 2 or more women and they are who he is intimate with. He is not a partying drunk college aged guy sleeping around with every girl he can get in bed with. Most people in this country have had sex with one or more people before committing themselves to one person in marriage. Even then our rate of divorce in this country is like over %50 and i'm sure a lot is do to sex-related things.

That is great to hear Bhutan may I ask you some personal questions about your relationships?

At my age and single I can imagine sharing my future with up to 4 ladies of a similar age,I would like to live on a nice lake in Canada,with land to work and grow food,good fish to eat, and perhaps some of the ladies with a good career to earn the household cash.I believe the positives far out wiegh the negatives especially if everyone got on and had a very open mind.Just wishful thinking on my part.I will probably end up on the lake alone,having to visit the local town once in a while to have my sexual urges satisfied for a bushell of fish.Still that will work as well.

I think many are quick to judge alternative choices in the domestic arena. I would support the right of people to live in polygamy if they all so choose. Of course there are silent martyrs in marriages and relationships of all kinds, and to these I say: Rise up and be free! :) <br />
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Question: What does the average person living in a polygamous community feel about gay person's rights? Do they vote and if so, would they vote against or for same sex marriage?

I feel if a man loves more than one woman and is willing/able to care for both of them and the women realize it is a plural family, what difference does it make? I know men and women that have cheated on partners and created children. The idea of a loving supportive family that knows and accepts the plural relationship can create healthy, happy children. Who cares as long as ppl are happy and can live with the decision?

all i can say is that it's amazingly surprising what i read about ur story, i am a second wife n it's killing me everyday n night,ur u're a third? of four wives? i don't know how u do it....i really admire u is it now? is everything still cool or did things change or....?looking forward to hearing from u...

i think that polygamy makes the most sense, however im looking at it from numbers. the world population, 3 woman to every one man. i also think that it makes more sense as a relationship, you arent with the same woman everyday, and from a womans prospective, it gives you a break. it would mean more support for the children, and the household responsibilities more managable when everybody had something to do. or if you live in multiple houses you still have more support than most. its ridiculous that polygamy is against the law, it all comes down to money the government cant collect as much on taxes if they recognized polygamy. obvously, thats the only reason, if it was a moral concern the government would be bursting into the house of every man with a mistress. but a polygamist has the belief that they are practicing, the cheating man knows hes wrong. even more polygamist, actual polygamist, the woman knows theres more than one wife and they want that.... and for religion, most churches try to cover the fact that the alot of the men at that time had multiple wives and theres not much proof either way saying howmany wifes the men writing the bible had, so going with the norm they most likely had multiple wives, there is a large number of people who believe jesus, actually had multiple wives and children, most churches wont recognize this belief b/c it would that he was intimate w/ a woman, and to most people that would take away the "god" quality. if your against polygamy than just DONT PRACTICE IT! you dont have the right to make choices for others... alot of people continue to connect polygamy with that jeff guy however that is not the norm, most polygamist wont allow the females to marry until they are 19, and most polygamist have the females aproach the church to let the leaders know that she is interested in a particular man. the thing that jeff had was more like a cult, he had twisted the beliefs of others to take advantage of them compare it to other religions, not all muslims are bad infact most muslims believe in peace the terrorist who use the religion to fit there cause have just twisted it to fit there need. some of the major christian leaders, the ones on t.v. have twisted the beliefs of christians to get money from them. most polygamist just want the basic rights to practice there beliefs without being punished for there beliefs.

Don't know but for me it sounds like using the same toothbrush with somebody .

It bothers me when people try to argue that polygamy should be legal or should be considered a legitimate alternative lifestyle ba<x>sed on the progress made in the gay rights movement. So I want to draw some distinctions.<br />
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Gays and lesbians were for ages denied the right to even ONE relationship and are still denied marriage by the (US) federal government (1996 Defense of Marriage Act) and most states. As was shown in the California Prop 8 trial, this denial of rights is ba<x>sed on ignorance and fear at best and pure malice at worst. Unfortunately, people openly defend their malice with the first amendment's freedom of religion. <br />
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However, some state supreme courts have found that denial of marriage to same sex couples is a form of discrimination which deprives a class of citizens privileges granted to other citizens. The state has the duty to regulate marriage but if it denies marriage to a specific group, it must have a compelling reason for doing so. Lawrence v. Texas, which ended sodomy laws, removed the states ability to intrude into private sexual relationships between consenting adults and removed "morality" as a rational basis for such laws. Lawrence v. Texas did not grant gays the right to marry. It dealt with the issue of sex only. Homosexuality could, therefore, no longer be criminalized and this handful of states then found no rational basis reason for denying gays/lesbians equal rights regarding marriage.<br />
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With polygamy, however, many questions arise that the state has to be concerned with such as inheritance rights and power of attorney. Many human rights organizations argue that polygamy is a tool to oppress woman's rights and relegate women to second class citizens and this we have seen clearly illustrated in the Warren Jeffs case. I am not here to argue for or against polygamy but there are compelling reasons of interest to the state in criminalizing it.<br />
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To sum up, the issues in the gay marriage debate have no commonality with the issues surrounding polygamy and we should be wary of those who would try to use gay rights as a shield for defending other kinds of relationships. Those who hope that gay marriage will open the door to legal polygamy will be quite disappointed.

LOL... Paul's letter to the Ephesians!? Saul was a hypocritical ******* who stoned people until he was "OH-EM-GEE born again!" And it's generally believed he didn't even write the letter to the Ephesians. Monogamy was instituted to make people easier to control and as a check against crimes of passion... thanks to small-minded, murderous, jealous people. Even the ancients knew that it went against our nature. If you simply insist on following an imaginary deity, you should consider Bacchus for the sake of your own mental health. Organized religion is all about controlling your mind so the ruling class can make money, and everything that makes it seem better than that is just an elaborate distraction. In ancient times, they used religion because it was the best show in town. In modern times, our attention and opinions are still controlled by low-quality entertainment to get us to see television commercials and ad banners. Wise up; live and let live.

I find this to be absolutely CRAZY! First and foremost....if any individual truly reads the bible and respects, loves, and honors the LORD JESUS CHRIST as their personal saviour, this would NEVER EVEN be discussed or considered! Any Christian would realize that we are not under 'the law' of the Old Testiment due to the birth, death, and resurrection of Our Lord Jesus Christ as our Saviour! It is the New Testiment that is to be honored, trusted, and believed in. PLEASE - FOR ANYONE CONSIDERING OR EVEN READING THESE POSTS.... READ THE NEW TESTIMENT OF THE BIBLE AND REALIZE WHAT JESUS CHRIST, OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR HAS PLANNED FOR OUR LIVES AS HUSBAND AND WIFE. IT IS A UNION OF ONE MAN AND ONE WOMEN....NO ADDITIONAL WIVES, NO ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS, NO ADDITIONAL LUSTFUL THOUGHTS! I do understand that we all fall short and have sinful thoughts of this flesh we live in, but HONORING JESUS CHRIST is what we are called to do....nothing else. 1) SERVE THE LORD JESUS CHRIST, 2) SERVE OUR HUSBAND (understand that this is not plural....), and 3) SERVE OUR FAMILY (understand this is not families...)<br />
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~Christian Mother of Six Children




18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;

19 Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;

20 Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;

21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
Gen 2:24 Matt 19:5 Mark 10:7 1 Cor 6:16

32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

** Make personal note that when this biblical text refers to "wives" and "husbands", the Word is speaking to US in general...not MULTIPLES! **

i see no problem with polygamy, so what if a man wants multiple wives, as long as the first wife or second ect is ok with it, and there is honesty, then go fer it. If anyone remembers not to long ago and even now, ppl have problems with gay marriage, but that is gettin to be more and more these thing to remember, things like polygamy and other things thought of bad years ago is gonna happen, its how the world is. Its changin and people should be open minded enough to change with it.

I'll probably get flamed for this but I think women who are in polygamous marriages are deluded<br />
and/or brainwashed into believing it's a good thing. I feel deeply sorry for them.


Moonfairie,<br />
Hire a maid, nanny and a handyman.

How can u say your husband doesn't even look at other women if you are the 3rd wife - just curious? not trying to be rude .. how did he decide to get the 2nd wife and then you??

My husband is wantiung a 2nd. I can understand why since we need help around the house and the outside and it stuff that i cant do anymore.And if something happens to me atlast i will have trained someon on how my house works plus my kids. I an looking for info. I am lost on all of this. Please someoine give me some insight. I am grateful for any help

I am wondering if I can have more than one husband, coz I am married to a loving n great husband but still fall in love to another man and just can't get over him. It must be nice if I can do polyandry....

I want to be respectful and tactful here, but I am so curious...I love sisterwives, I never miss it, but, I keep thinking....How in the world does one man keep three or four women intimately fulfilled? What if one wife has a much higher need for intimacy, are the others compliant, (as in, ok, you take my turn) are things like this talked about openly? I'm afraid I would demand too much, too often, and create real chaos within the family.

Have you ever desire multiple husbands?

I do :)

ANYTHING is better than living in a fairytale like some of these people who believe in monogamy as is if it God himself. Having more than one wife is very natural for MOST men. <br />
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Men reading this, Keep your faith be firm and kind and do what is right. <3<br />
It IS allowed in human law, The prophets did it...and they are our examples for our lives.<br />
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I am a Muslim an I respect this post and would love to be in a polygamous marriage. <br />
The comment from Dec 16 was idiotic and I hope to god they were not Muslim with the foolish talk about being from an Islamic country. There is currently only 1 Islamic country(Iran) in the world and Polygamy (1 man more than 1 wife) IS practiced and just like the rest of the world it can be a challenge. <br />
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Anyway, <br />
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Having babies is difficult sometimes and we still do it. <br />
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I was married to a womanizer and wished it coulda been good old polygamy instead.<br />
After all we could all work together. We divorced because of this dishonest behaviour.<br />
girlfriends and lies are unnecessary and unwanted.<br />
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Please pray that I find a suitable/honest husband. <br />
I am open to polygamy so put in a good word for me...I hope the wife/wives like me and can adjust to me also. my kids have been through a lot and would rather a warm big family than the standard equations...Plus I do not have time to be a full time wife...:)<br />
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Take care and God bless ya'lls soul!

Let's get one thing clear: POLYGAMY means many marriages, and in all modern countries including the USA where much of this discussion is ba<x>sed, it is ILLEGAL, forbidden by law on pain of punishment. So it is foolish to talk of more than one wife. Of course, besides your wife, you can have girl friends, mistresses, one night stands, etc. but these will never have the status, and the protection in law, of wives and the children resulting will be bastards, unless the law is changed. <br />
Secondly, POLYGYNY, many wives, if it were to exist is so sexist that it is breathtaking; just as POLYANDRY, many husbands, would be. Junco

The only concern I would have is can the man support the wives and all those kids? The taxpayers should not have to support this lifestyle with welfare and foodstamps. Other than that, while not for me, I would have no ob<x>jections with legalizing it for adults.

THis post sounds very similiar if not exactto the the 3rd wifes response on Meet the browns reality show have I discovered an Identity just kidding not a polygamist never will be but to each there own it doesn't hurt anybody so why hate on it more power to ya!

My husband and i have been discussing the possibility of the polygomy lifestyle. though we have been monogamous for the 6 yrs of our marriage and have never seen anyone in our personal lives practice this lifestyle. but we are very curious about if it would be something we would be happy doing. i used to joke all the time about having another woman in the house to help with kids and overall duties a single woman has to endure. I always dreamed of having a large family with lots of kids. the only thing that holds us back is our families how could we explain this? will they accept it? i wish we could move somewhere that the lifestyle is embraced and its the norm! i absolutely love the family on sister wives. it seems like the family really love each other, theres so much dedication to having a happy family. i just dont want to have to hide who i am or what i want, its so ridiculous how our society can be!

@lislis <br />
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every situation is different. every relationship is different. <br />
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not all "poly" relationships are religion-ba<x>sed or necessarily unequal. it's not always the man who decides to invite another person in. women involved in polygamous relationships aren't all sheep doing the will of some guy.<br />
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you're as bad as the so-called "patriarchy "you rail against. why do you insist on infantilizing women and reducing them to the status of children or puppets to be manipulated by men? these are grown women we're talking about. adults. <br />
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do you claim to be able to decide what's best for everyone else? are you saying it's impossible to love and be committed to more than one person? are exploitation, manipulation and abuse the only scenarios you can imagine where a person could be intimate with more than one person at a time?<br />
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why are you projecting your fear-fantasies on others?<br />
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what a sad cold world you must live in.<br />
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open your eyes. it's not as scary out there as you seem to think.

Wandering doesn't matter if the man, or woman, is in a monogamous relationship or in a polygamist one. It is 100% NATURAL to look at an attractive member of the opposite sex. It is also 100% NATURAL to have a fleeting sexual interest, thought, etc., about that individual. If any woman says she is 100% not worried about her husband because their in a "committed" relationship is not being truthful to herself or others. People look, people have interests and lustful thoughts with or without ever actually acting upon them. The level of commitment one has or doesn't have in their marriage will never change that.<br />
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Furthermore, to compare the above in context to a monogamous marriage and then place that same ideal upon a polygamist one is pretty ridiculous. It is....a polygamist marriage....the initial parties were aware that others would eventually join them so the "looking" part of it was for just that...the addition to their family.<br />
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I do find many good things with polygamy just as an outsider. Of course, there is always bad anywhere you look. Not every family is normal, not every relationship is healthy and not every man or woman is a good person. And this applies to everyone, Monogamous or polygamist, Christian, Catholic, Muslim or Atheist, etc.<br />
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I think the more people are educated on the differences we share as members of the human race, the more tolerance and that is what we need more than anything on this planet. To find the similarities amongst each other so we can learn to work together and bring our society into a safer and more stable realm.<br />
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Don't approach things with have, especially out of ignorance. Open your heart and your mind to the world around you. And since everyone has some type of skeleton in their closet, examine your own life, action, etc., before you even think about judge others.