Sounds Too Good to Be True

I think the idea of a large poly family with many people to give their love to you sounds wonderful.  You would always have the support and protection of this intimate group of people to turn to.  But I wonder, is it too good to be true? 

I mean, think for a moment about human instinct.  We are all, each of us, ultimately looking out for number one (ourselves).  Would it truly be possible to share a 'soulmate' with another person without natural feelings of jealously getting in the way?  I think about sharing my husband with other wives and the thought makes me laugh.  Because deep down I know it will never happen, I'm able to laugh the idea away.  But were it ever to be taken seriously, my reaction would be of bitterness.  As much as it might be nice in many ways to have other wives to share in the burdens of taking care of the home and family, I would feel upset over having to share the intimate connection that my hubby and I have.  That is something very special to me and is a large part of what makes our union work-- knowing that we give ourselves to each other only.

I guess I just can't imagine sharing such a bond without instinctive, raw, natural emotions interferring.

mmgnes mmgnes
26-30, F
9 Responses May 25, 2007

I feel the same way but yet i am curious - I love my husband and our children but i would love to have a "girl" to spend my life with too.

Hi there,<br />
<br />
I Have been with my girlfriend now for 4 years and we have been having a good time and are madly in love. She recently told me she is Bisexual and has kept from me for a while as she thought i would react negative to it. Howeve I embraced it as was extremely hammy that she was open enough to tell me how she honeslty felt.<br />
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Any way to the point..... i allowed her to experiment with other girls but she always wanted me to be involved, she has been seriously been thinking about having a 3 way relationship with me her and another girl. I have been researching about it and it seems logical that people do get jealous but what seems to be the trend is tri couples who are honest and have good communication seem to weather the storm.<br />
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What I'm asking is not if you think its right but where would i find a female who shared the same values as us and had a lot of love to give not only a female but also a male<br />
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I agree with all of the replies. I think they're great! And sonnyonmyside, I think that's great. this is something that I am searching for. I truly want to be in a polygyny marriage, or it may be called polygyny relationship until it gets legalized which I am truly hoping for. All the reasons that most of you who replied to the poster's story, are the same reasons why I truly want this. It is not a passing phase. I wanted this for quite some time now. It just seems to make sense, and it makes everyone happy. As long as everyone works together to make it work. Every relationship takes work. This some truly something worth working for. I am so glad that I stumbled on to this. Thank you again, everyone. :)

I think if a woman is willing to share the most intimate part of her marriage, this shows maturity. She would have no reason to feel challenged by the other woman, being that she is the first wife that opened her marriage up to another. I believe instead of looking at this as a challenge it should be viewed as a positive growth. I can see how a person can view this as a violation of the material vows, but I believe it is all in the perception of the person peering in. I wouldn't be opposed to my husband taking on a second wife. I wish that he would take 2 more. that way no one feels left out. I am not bisexual by any means. It would be hard to share him sexually, but I think it would be hard for the other person too. I wouldn't like and affair tha is swept under the rug, but bring another to beeter the family. I can see the challages but I also see in numbers there is sucess. The bigger the family the more sucessful they would be.

I am having a show on polygamy tomorrow night , 10/13/10 on www.blogtalkradio.com/djinntalk2012 The show is titled "Can women willingly share their men?" The call in # is (347)-202-0233. I would love for you and anyone you invite, to join the discussion. I am trying to get as many different opinions from other women as possible. The show will begin at 7 p.m Pacific time. Thanks and hope you can make it.

I totally understand what each of you are saying. I am in a polyamorous relationship currently (that is one man and two women). We have been living in the same house, same bedroom, raising four kids for about 15 months now. In our relationship, each of us has two significant others, he has a wife and a girlfriend, she has a girlfriend and a husband, and I have a girlfriend and a boyfriend. The kids have two mom figures, one father figure, and more love than they could ever need. It's not the easiest thing in the world to do, it takes neverending love and commitment, but the results are great. I'm just saying...it's just like any other relationship, it has its ups and downs. It does make some aspects of life a lot easier, but there are some other things that are more difficult. I did not watch the HBO show, so I don't know exactly what "sister wives" are but it doesn't sound very good to me. Could anyone explain the sister wives thing to me?

Yes but if you really look at our lives a lil closer ....<br />
We are constantly turning to a friend for the things we are missing in our current relation.Maybe love maybe attention,sex someone just to cuddle with...<br />
I see women who turn to other women for the affection some guys cant or are not willing to give.<br />
Or a guy turns to another women for things his wife has not given freely .Its all emotions and filling them to a level of our satifaction.<br />
I would love to have two wives but jealousy is going to be the dividing factor .We dont share easily but if we could so many drawbacks could be solved <br />
Please add me if I make a lil since its 2 am and Im throwing my heart in the mix

I totally agree! But at the same time, I do believe society's basic restraints are wearing thin. The number of incidences of divorce and adultery have been on the increase especially in recent years. Marriage; I cannot see people ever leaving the idea of a lavish day of celebrating behind, so perhaps it's the only way forward? Plus, people have proved and proved again that they are perfectly capable of adapting to most situations. <br />
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Society, however, might not accept it, or as you have said, it might take a long long time.<br />
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Aw well, all I say is that people should do what is right for them... within reason (as obviously this can't be applied to every situation!).

I'm inclined to agree... perhaps it is the "animal"/"natural" instinct, for a man to have lots of offspring and for humans not to be monogamous, but society has been trained, and trained itself to believe that one man should be with one woman and I think it would take a long, long time before we could evolve (devolve?) to a sufficient comfort level for people to cope with such a life.