I'm Wanting A Polygamy Lifestyle After Watching 'Sister Wives' And Doing Research.

Hi I'm 17 and wondering what if i choose to live the polygamy lifestyle. Growing up I watched my moms relationships fall apart after have 4 kids with 4 different guys, I always knew I wanted more. I just never knew what that more was, until I met the Brown family on TLC. Seeing how they were with each other and how their family work through tough times and still stuck together, it just made me think to myself " isn't that what I want?" and it hit me, this was what I've been looking for. I've done many minni research projects of my own. I've only told 3 of my closest friends and the one who doesn't agree but still supports me is my ex-boyfriend of 2 1/2 years. I'm not sure how to tell my mother yet, I'm thinking of waiting til I'm out of the house and on my own to tell her so that way I can leave if she rejects me. If I could choose which wife I wanted to be it would have to be wife number one because its introducing someone to my new lifestyle is something I want to do it would give me a sense of being the first to convert and bring another into this amazing better lifestyle. I do want the man but I am utimately more excited of having sister wives and just that amazing bond with someone who shares that same love that I have for my husband and our kids. I just want one other sister wife besides myself. I want that relationship of a sister wife to be more than what most people would think of it as. I want it completely full of love to where if I unexpectedly passed away she would take my kids and miss me and yet move on with our children and husband and make me proud and raise them the way I wanted to. I know I'm a little young to say that this is the lifestyle that I want but it is and I won't stop at anything to have this dream fulfilled.
sammylynn1945 sammylynn1945
18-21, F
4 Responses Jan 23, 2013

Consider this, if you join an existing family there will be an adjustment period because as humans we all have quirks which we do adjust too. But it’s difficult if their already members in that family so you're adjusting to each one. Your option: You start off as my wife the number one wife, and when both ready you can introduce another wife... I have a friend who has 7 wives who remained loyal to his one and only wife. He told me he was happy with his one wife and never considered having more until his wife asked him "when are you going to pick your next wife”? He said he thought about it for a long time and told her that if she wanted him to have a second wife then you pick her. He said they followed that pattern with all the wives; the two pick the third, the three picked the fourth and so on with the husband having to approve of their choice. The way the wives went about it was if they met another woman who showed interest they would begin inviting her along to spend time with the family, like testing the waters to see if she could get along with everyone and seeing how she might fit in; until they all were in agreement and they then presented the offer to the husband. In the end the husband has to like her which he said there were some that he did not like and disapproved. There are many aspects to consider: When choosing a wife some considerations would be habits, drug use sexual preference. I do not agree with the practice polygamy for sex because polygamy is not about sex and should never be used for sex; it’s been proven that any relationship that is based for sex never last. Continued consideration is there are polygamist groups that do not follow Biblical values for me this is a must; I really want a wholesome life for my wife/wives, children and myself. If you study my writings you’ll discover some deep thing about me. I’m not a fanatic or a control freak if you want education, career, babies and a family then I want that for you as well I would never hold you back from continuing to bloom and blossom into the woman that you are. To be successful it must be for the building and nurturing of a strong and stable family in a wholesome environment for the good of the children, wives and the husband.

** Yes, I'm seeking my first wife. Come on and visit and message me.

I've lived this lifestyle, sort of. The better part of 2012, my wife of 19 years (we married young) had a "sisterwife" who was significantly younger. Circumstance and some underlying depression and anxiety issues that didn't get enough attention contributed to the end of the relationship, but we're still talking, and there's hope we might reconcile.

It's a beautiful relationship when it works. When it was right between us, none of us had ever been happy. The support and love you feel when you've got a small family of adults is amazing and deeply fulfilling. And you're right--the idea of having "backup" if something unfortunate should befall the family is profoundly reassuring.

I'm certainly not judging anyone, but be aware that most people think this lifestyle is more about sex than love; it's not, it's more about love and domesticity. A lot of people who believe in polyamory are more about open relationships and "relationship anarchy," and while there's nothing wrong with that, this sort of lifestyle is not, at all, the same thing. Know your prospective partners well, and make sure you have the same values and long-term goals.

Before things went south, my "wives" and I were talking about adding a third. If my second ever comes back, it's something I still hope we can do. Oh, and be sure the man you eventually choose is up to the challenge of loving fairly and impartially, and be sure your sisterwives can deal with the jealousy that invariably happens (it's just in our nature).

I think this way of life is one of the more authentic and natural in the human experience; for most of mankind's history, it was the norm, and is accepted in many parts of the world to this day (I've read up to two-thirds of the world accepts polygamy, but that seems a bit high to me).

Good luck.

what do you mean "When it was right between us, none of us had ever been happy."

That should have read "happier." Damn autocorrect.

LOL, makes a lot of sense now :)

good story :)

never heard anyone talk of that comfort before, i know it's something i can feel in myself as what i'm after, but have yet to have the family for it.

g/f is on the fence now about me having a second lady in my life. which is closer than she's ever been to accepting it before.

it was the self-titled "national polygamy advocate" who said it best - don't remember his name, show your wife you love her, show her heart you love her and that you'll never leave her or question your love for her.

i'm getting there, she's learning i cherish her that much.

i know i can't force things, i can't push it on her. she knows i want a second, and i'm leaving it at that for her to know and trust my intentions, that i'm genuine and sincere. that i love her dearly. with that alone she's bringing it up when she's reached the next step to be closer to accepting it, not rushing it, going at her pace so she's comfortable.

i look at it and while i'm learning to be more capable and more supportive of her at home, that "rise to the challenge"

i know i've got a long ways to go, i know aiming for the time i introduce another lady "it's gotta be perfect" isn't realistic. it's still going to be her first impression of what it's going to be like to have a sisterwife. that feels like the most pressure to deal with, where she can see even then it's a family, not someone who is stealing me away. where she can see it's someone that will support her as well instead of someone who will be at odds with her, or indifferent.

"first impressions", they say a lot.

i need to be better and more capable than i am now. i don't see this as me looking down on myself or holding myself back or low expectations or perceptions of myself, ... but i've seen myself come so far in the last year and it's shown me i can and should continue progressing to be more capable. it's shown me that ever step forward i make with myself is going to make a stronger family in the end, a happier family, a more capable and supportive family.

i didn't think i needed to grow before, now i'm embrassing it and seeing how much more i can do, how much more i can be supportive and loving.

all so when the day comes that everyone is ready to have a second lady in my life it's the right fit for us and embraced by all, and everyone is able to handle everything that comes along, all the trials and tribulations.

kilo8kilo, you said polyamory brings relationship anarchy, ... i'm a little confused why you think this.

what i've come to think about polyamory is a little confusing to me, but sounds simular to an open relationship, just 'longer term' without the final commitment that polygamy is about.

granted the polygyny & polyandry point to hetro relationships. where the gays & lesbians & bi people, ... they're after the same interests as everyone else, that "happily ever after" like us sometimes that includes a 3rd partner in their relationship. and that's what i think about when i see "polyamorous" as well. the things that just don't fit into "polygyny" or "polyandry" neat titles from an archaic time and people that fashioned "one man and one woman" as the only acceptable relationship.

"polyamourous" does also seem to be used for "less than life-time" partners as well, ... it does tend to confuse me though. i see any implied "less than life-time" partner as closer to "open relationships" when it comes to additional partners in the relationship/family dynamics

not that marriage with it's 50% success rate is great, but they're still intended by people who at least at the moment want to promise forever instead of "well we'll see how long this lasts"

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whole different kind of "coming out of the closet" isn't it :)

have a friend i know online who was in such a family, the only supportive family members was the parents of his second wife. at first she was upset till she saw that her daughters love was a man who was serious about his love.

all i could suggest is find a wonderful guy who treats you right first, if he's already got a lady in his life then you get to know how he is with the other woman and your only concern is if she becomes jealous and doesn't want to get past it.

if you find a wonderful guy who treats you right and your his first, get your relationship good and strong then seek a sisterwife (it's easier to convince someone to get a second partner than it is to convince them you want a second - unless that's what you want)

if you want a second partner for yourself (man or woman) your going to have to find a very accepting person (hard to do in this narrow minded world)

keep your goal on love though and you'll find it (sounds corny but if you give it a chance it will come true, may take awhile but so long as you remember your goals and trust they'll come about, it will happen :)

I love that show! Proves that unconventional marriages do work.

I'd wait til you move out and are stable. Don't rush into a mess, take your time