Not Sure What To Do.

I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years now. He's had another girlfriend for the last two. I've turned my head at it because I love him very much but he decided the other day that he wants us all to be one big family. That there are many men that make it work and so can he. What I want to know is how does a relationship like this work. I wasn't raised this way and I'm not sure what to expect. How do I explain this to my family? To the kids? Between the 3 of us we have 4 kids. I love my man very much and don't want to lose him if there is anyone else. If there is anyone that has any advise please let me know.

IG718 IG718
26-30, F
4 Responses Feb 25, 2010

if you make her your BEST FRIEND you will live happly ever after! If you cant do that get the **** out! it relay is that simple... can you get her and attack him in bed as a team? if not it will kill your soul...

i don't know..<br />
this is a girl who's existence you have been denying for 2 years, from this it sort of implies that you don't want to even think about her. Let alone live with her. You sound like such a sweet person, but are you holding onto him so dearly, you are willing to give up your own relationship wants? I think that one should go polygamy if it feels natural to do so. You seem hesitant, but how would i know?<br />
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You are an adult woman so you hold to power to decide. goodluck!

Make sure shes the kind of woman you like, like ur best friend, heck even ur sister. If ur bi in a situation like this its a huge plus.<br />
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If not then u may need to have a serious talk about it. Its not just a question of if he can handle it, but if both u ladies can as well.<br />
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I've heard of polygamous couples actually all sharing a bed at the same time as opposed to doing it one by one taking turns on different nights and using that strategy to keep them close.<br />
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You have to talk, and get to know her yourself. Go on a date just the 2 of you without him and see what shes really like.<br />
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You must know what ur getting into before you get into it.<br />
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Cheers!

First, ask yourself if you will be able to live that kind of life. I've seen all kinds of doc's on this kind of thing. Some seem very happy. What you need to consider is how you are going to feel actually seeing him with someone else, cuz up until now it sounds like it's not been directly in front of you. Or has it, IDK? What about the legality of it all? Will it be an actual marriage or a no committment kind of thing. How do you feel about that? Your family may not understand and you may suffer some consequences from that. Your kids may not understand either. Don't know how old they are but you need to think about whether or not this is the kind thing about family you want to teach to them? Sometimes we think we love someone and will do anything for them, only to get hurt. Are you afraid of being alone? Is that why you never confronted him about having another girl. These are some of the things I can think of that you might consider. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best.