Amazing Gf Is An Ultimate Sub

Things have heated up spectacularly with an astounding woman I've been working on a creative project with. We have legendary chemistry, and connect in a yin-yang sorta way. She's 25, I'm 42. I adore her.

Last night, as I was going down on her, I asked her what she liked, and she was unable to answer the question. Seemed very unlike her. She then revealed to me that she's a sub. Not just a sub, but an Ultimate Sub. This came screamin' outta the blue. She's a hard working, hard partying , take-charge kinda gal, but also obviously full of surprises. I like surprises.

So now I'm wrapping my brain around all this. I've always felt it was my obligation to please the women I was with, and enjoy myself as a pleasant side benefit. Now I discover that the girl of my dreams derives pleasure from ME getting pleasure. She also enjoys bondage, blindfolds, rape fantasies, and all manner of sub wackiness and play.

I've been fantasizing all kinds of delicious scenarios all day. I'm ready to jump into some fun, but I've never gotten pleasure from being a ***** to women... except maybe the very first one I had a somewhat long term relationship with. She told me she was a "rag doll," and I should just do what I wanted with her. So I did. Big time. It's the only relationship I ended with a nasty stream of verbal abuse that left her a simpering wreck for weeks. I regretted that for some time as I looked back on it, and wondered what the hell had come over me to treat her so badly. In retrospect, I was probably giving her what she wanted. I know, being a Dom doesn't mean being a *****, but there are certainly elements of it.

Fast forward many years later to the top tier girlfriend in my past. Let's call her W. The sky was the limit with this one, and the sex was the best ever, for years. I never knew I had limits until role play went to dark places, ie: where she expected me to knock her around and rape her *** 'till it bled. It was hot the first few times we did stuff like this, but it got a little disturbing, mostly cuz it seemed like I was taking advantage of mental illness, and maybe hurting more than helping. Still, I will always love her. W was my best friend by far for 8 years (including the relationship), and I never quite clicked like that with another woman again, not even with the girl I married. We also went thru a bondage phase, and that was fun for a while.

Fast forward again to today. My lovely new GF is the stuff of legend, and we click like nobody's business. I keep using the word surreal with her, cuz the whole thing seems like a beautiful, crazy dream ever since we gave it the green light.

I'm looking for advice on rocking out as Dom for my transcendent Ultimate Sub. I want to BE in the right mindset, rather than just BEHAVE as though I am. I'm into the possibilities, and I've had fun playing this way before, but never as the critical core of a sexual relationship. Sounds I have to learn to be a selfish ***** to give the lady what she wants and deserves.

Thoughts? Educate me!
nucleardynamite nucleardynamite
41-45, M
2 Responses Jul 29, 2010

Thx for the good thoughts.<br />
In truth, just talking about it on here put me in the right mindset from that point on. All is well.<br />
<br />
@whitecpl Healthy attitude. You know yourself.<br />
@blueyedblond Clearly, integrity and trust are the most important factors in any relationship. Didd you have a partner get all hissy-fitty on you recently? <br />
@ MissVenus I'll check out your blog right after this.<br />
<br />
D/S is about playtime and fun, giving each other what we want and having a blast. <br />
<br />
Now, where's the best place to score some load-bearing lighting truss? :)

lol..very interesting nucleardynamite! I appreciate how transparent your post is....As always it's impossible to define exactly everyone's desires even in a certain realm of sexuality..as far as D/s or any other fetish or desire....Being a ***** would bother so many but in the proper context the verbal can be exactly that....and yes she could love it. For my G/f she was always used to guys chasing her and when the tables were turned she literally went to her knees when told she had to work to get to get it.......never know until the limits are explored....for me I am not a dom personality...i can play the roll but it's not in my nature...did not even know how much I would enjoy the whole D/s until my G/F and I decided to explore it with a third person getting involved as the Dom.....I also found I am very voyeur as well..I don't think it matters how you get there but how much enjoyment there is in being yourself and letting go!!! We sure have!