Hesitant

As I wonder what awaits me, I can't help to think that most people don't understand this "need" in life. They also don't understand it's importance. While I've not read 50 shades... Yet, I plan to do so. However, the response that the book has gotten has made me feel better knowing that there are so many others out there that are hesitant. Wonder why we are hesitant when it comes to sex? I am certain it's for fear of rejection. I've never come out and said "Hey, dominate me" so how would I expect my partner to know . So many marriages fail due to affairs because of unsatisfaction in the bedroom. Maybe this, bringing awareness, will enable people to become more familiar with their needs and the needs of their partners. Maybe people will become.. Less hesitant.
Off to start my glorious day at work.
Deelinn76 Deelinn76
36-40, F
2 Responses Sep 11, 2012

Deelin lol.... 50 Shades is the biggest load of crap (it was originally Twilight fan fiction) and was written as a "romance" story. Unfortunately, it has spawned an entire crowd of "BDSM tourists" who think it is an accurate representation of what D/s is.<br />
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Please note that EP is not a D/s or BDSM site, so be very careful of who you take advice from, especially from those who are fakes, just as new or who don't quite grasp the dynamic. It can be dangerous, particularly as people aren't always upfront about these things and tend to posture. <br />
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I recommend that you check out EP member Sunnil's writings. She has shared a lot of information and she has been a sub for 27 years....she knows of what she speaks and she is a great person :-)

I'm glad you've told me that. What people have said about the book is pretty interesting. Knowing nothing really of it , I don't want to get the wrong idea :) I appreciate your help!!

Lol, you are most welcome. A lot of people have come on here thinking they are submissive because of that book, when really they were just bored and needed their spouse to take the lead and shake things up a bit! I'd skip it (unless you want it for a fun trashy summer read) and check out some of Sunnil's write ups for genuine d/s info. Sunnil is a good starting point :-)

Hahaha.. That's funny how you put it. I'm a Facebook geek and for at least 2 years I've looked for this sort of page. Although I never foubd one, I don't think it would be really comforting knowing my family sees my conversations. So I googled it and this page came up. I'm going to stay away from the books. I truly am not much of a reader anymore due to being a single mom and working full time. So I don't mind so much skipping it. I've heard at least 10 people say "did you get to the contract part yet "? They make it sound interesting. I agree though, I need to be on here ..learning exactly what this is all about so that I can make a choice if it's for me. I just know what I like and coming here is comforting knowing there are others like me.

Hahah... yes! That's quite amusing. You know it's not true BDSM when you hear in Starbucks, “I had to use my safeword last night with Romeo. I was about to break a nail, he had to stop. I’m such a naughty sub!” I mean, there is a reason most people are vanilla ;-) Oh and yes, contracts do exist in D/s, but I've never been asked to sign one, and most Doms I know don't actually request one. Building a strong foundation is key.... if done properly, your Dom will push your limits but recognize them at the same time.

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I agree with Michelle, save your money. I read the first one and really thought it wasnt representative of the D/s lifestyle. It was alot of fluff.

I wonder what people are making this huge ordeal over then? It really isn't what Dom/sub relationships are? I don't think I will bother with the book, but learn from here first! Thank you!

Honestly? Because people are bored...and I think many of them feel "edgy" saying they did some of the stuff in the book....ugh. It REALLY is a book that got lucky with marketing

It certainly did take off!! I couldn't believe. For the record, I'm not a twilight fan so it most likely wouldn't interest me. I watched the first one. I believe I may be the least romantic person on the planet .. Gag lol

I'm not a Twilight fan either... I do believe the 50 Shades author wrote a bunch of her book with Bella and Edward in mind, then changed the names ;-)

@RR I agree about people feeling edgy about doing something that was in the book. If you read some of the things the girls that I know wrote on facebook, (I had to laugh).

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